Originally Posted by excello98
Right, this may take a while.
Last year I asked a good friend out (she had moved nearby to NY from Dallas - we had lived far apart before this). She said yes, but had a boyfriend at the time (I was unaware of the boyfriend - she hadn't told me about him because of her feelings for me) and couldn't breakup with him right away. We hooked up (kissing only) a couple of times, and then (eventually, after a period of NC and a few heated discussions) broke up with the boyfriend. We've sort of 'started our relationship again', which I think is a good idea. She broke up with him in early Jan.
Since then our relationship has been good. It's certainly much better than it was when she had the boyfriend. We recently started sleeping together (we'd never done that before) and we see each other fairly often.
My problem is this. Although we're pretty much both nerds, she's much more of a 'wild child' than I am. Particularly sexually, she has been involved in a number of escapades that I would never even dream of. She's been very honest with me - which is good - and she told me that during the period of NC she had cheated on her boyfriend (slept with 3 other guys and 2 girls) when she was extraordinarily drunk. She felt horrible and really regretted that night. She says she hasn't done anything like this since we've 'been together' and that she doesn't want to. I had never slept with anyone before her. She knows this and she says it makes her very happy (On a side note - I totally recommend waiting until you find someone you really like. I'm almost 21 which puts me waaaaaay past the average for these sorts of things - but really, it's worth it).
However, she keeps asking me 'what would I do if she kissed another guy', and saying that, 'she needs more time to "get everything out of her system"' after her last relationship. I understand both of these things, but to be honest, I really do have serious problems trusting her sometimes. I do trust her - I'm not possessive and I don't check up on her or anything - but a lot of the time I catch myself wondering 'what she's up to', or worrying when she's going 'out with a friend' or 'had a big night last night'. It's not serious, but what do you guys think?
She says she wouldn't have a problem if I kissed another girl, but I asked her what she would do if I said "I'd found someone else and we should just be friends" and she got quite upset. I think she really likes me (she tells me lots of sweet things like that all the time), but she's a bit younger than I am and I don't want to push her away by asking too much of her commitment or 'exclusivity-wise' when she's not ready. By the same token, it has been a long time (at least since I asked her out the first time) and I don't want her to be able to walk all over me. It seems like a hard line to tread.
Anyway, enough from me, what do you think?
