Hi I am so lost in my thoughts on this topic. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years, and we have bene distant for abou 6 rather than leave I started just having an affair with a married man 20 years older than me. Hes 45 and I'm 26. He has 3 kids and a great wife. He was happy guy when I met him he never seemed to have bad relationship with his wife, although he must have been missing something to have met me. He has 2 wonderful kids ages 17 and 12. He's very close to both of his kids. I have fallen head over heels in love with this man to the point that I want to leave my boyfriend and be with him. I have never met anyone like him who I feel like I need every single day. Its messing me up in my mind because I feel so bad for what I am doing, he's married with 2 kids and I feel like a home wrecker. Im guilty of falling in love with a married man. This affair has been going on for a year and a half. When I talked to him about us being together he says he loves me more than he loves his wife but that he wants to keep his family together for his kids sake. I know he's a good father and I understand how he feels but everyday that he goes home to his wife my heart sinks. I do love my boyfreind but we just aren't made to stay together and I was hoping this guy the love of my life would be with me. And to make matters more hard his wife is awesome. She takes great care of him and thei famly. Am I always going to be his young side fling?? Does anyone think he will actually ever leave her to be with me?? I can't even believe I'm posting how I feel but my mind needs input from people outside to get some insight. I apprecate any comments good or bad :)

If he hasn't left his wife for you in a year and a half, he isn't going to leave her.

And if he cheats on his wife with you and leaves her for you (and even if he doesn't), how soon will he cheat on you?

You are hurting yourself. End the affair and find a man who will love only you. You have too much to offer to stay in a dead-end relationship.

O my god. I'm appalled at you. You are a vile sneaky person.
Your poor partner, leave him let him have a life far away from u.
Your lover will never leave his wife. She sounds like a lady.
He is using you for cheap sex. A thrill. I bet he laughs himself to sleep at night thinking of you wasting your life.
I don't care if I am harsh here.
His sons will never accept u. theywill despise u, and you will make them hate their father if they ever find out your dirty secret.
Think of the depression you will cause to all involved.
U are a cheap woman, his wife is a lady. Your no competition. Your a homewrecker.
Women like you should be taken out into the street, their heads shaved, so all other women know to shun you. And you should be flogged.

While Katrina was rough on you, she is right about you in many ways. You are the side show, the one he does not come home to, the one he will never come home to. A man who used staying in the marriage for the sake of the kids is a schmuck, to say the very least. What a poor excuse for a man! To use his children as a smokescreen for his inability to make a decision and leave his marriage. But wait - don't over half of the cheaters say that? They stay because of the children? Gimme a break already! And you believe it. Shame on you too.

You have a boyfriend - at least be honest with him and tell him you are having a sexual relationship with a married man. He will do himself the best favor by leaving you.

Actually, you and your married lover do deserve each other. Neither one of you has the morals to be honest with your partners and stand on your own two feet in the relationship. You both hide behind other people. You both use your partner's trust to your advantage.

If you really want to know if you two will be together forever - tell him no more sex until you see the signatures on the divorce decree, certified by the clerk of court. Have some self respect.

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Originally Posted by lovedove

Am I always going to be his young side fling??

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Yup.

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Does anyone think he will actually ever leave her to be with me??

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Nope.

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I can't even believe I'm posting how I feel but my mind needs input from people outside to get some insight. I apprecate any comments good or bad :)

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My advice: Leave both your married lover and your cuckolded boyfriend and live alone for at least a year, preferably two, and decide who you really are.

No you will not always be his young side thing, at some point you will start getting older, maybe gain some weight and he will merely move on and find a new younger thing, That is how cheating goes, his wife gets the best, his side thing is merely the fun.

And of course your boyfriend deserves a lot more and better also.

Here we go again. Yes you are the young thing on the side. Yes that's all you will ever be. Yes you fell for his line. Yes, you're an idiot. Yes, I hope the truth hurts, enough to make you change

They sound harsh. If it were legal, you could be second wife. ordinaryguy has the perfect idea. Quit confusing yourself, and messing with both of their hearts, and yours. Live alone, get to know yourself.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Here we go again. Yes you are the young thing on the side. Yes thats all you will ever be. Yes you fell for his line. Yes, your an idiot. Yes, I hope the truth hurts, enough to make you change

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Yes here we go again... I think its time we start working on a template that we can just paste into these " I'm with a married guy" posts.

We need two templates, one for questions like this one, and another for the ones that finally see the light, and truly like to change.