Ok lets go through the run down of what happened. I was at my friends house for a small party and during the night I became rather drunk and player some strip poker (which I won but that's not important really) after which a girl at the party and myself started flirting and stuff. Now the bad part of this is that I have a girlfriend (relationship is a few weeks long). Now when I'm drunk I like to wrestle and I started wrestling with this girl who was half naked and everything would have been all right up to this point (cuz I had told my girlfriend that I was going to a party and would being playing strip poker and some stuff might happen) However then things went overboard and a part of me started to tell me that I could do what I wanted with this girl (yea by a part of me basically look at it as a double personality seeing how that's it's equivalent) So anyway I ended up having sex with this girl who I found out likes me (kinda duh, why would she have sex with me if she didn't) and now I'm confused on what to do. Oh and its only been about 3 days since I cheated and me and my girlfriend will be seeing each other tomorrow.

I see my options as this:
1) I can come out and tell my girlfriend and ruin her life (No understatement like DEMOLISH her life)
2) I can completely Lie to her and get the people who know to be quiet (they are all good friends)
3) I can tell part of the truth that suggests that something happened without saying it happened and as such not lie but not tell her I cheated thus not destroying her life

Then again I may be missing something other then the fact I'm an idiot who cheated on someone who is very serious about him. Any suggestions?

I understand that s___ happens when you're drunk, but the fact is that you cheated on your girlfriend.

I think your concern isn't so much about "demolishing" her life, but covering your own @$$ for acting like an "idiot," which is an understatement in my opinion. I can't believe that you even considered dragging your "good friends" into your own web of lies. If you really cared about her (and it seems like you don't), you would grow some balls, stop being so selfish, and tell her the truth. You should leave it up to her if she still wants to stay with you or not.

Yes I realize I'm selfish, and yes I'm more then an idiot and I wouldn't drag my friends into lies just ask them not to tell her. And by not getting them to tell her I would be doing on of two things, completely lying or asking them not to tell her so I can do and something along the lines of "take it like a man" And yea currently I think I would choose to only tell part of the story so life can move along as it is and my relationship with my girlfriend can continue the way it should or tell her what happened and see what happens next.

Omission is still lying. Tell her the truth, you screwed up. She might surprise you with how strong she might be. But she deserves the truth regardless.

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Originally Posted by TheodoreLamont

Ok lets go thru the run down of what happened. I was at my friends house for a small party and during the night I became rather drunk and player some strip poker (which I won but thats not important really) after which a girl at the party and myself started flirting and stuff. Now the bad part of this is that I have a girlfriend (relationship is a few weeks long). Now when I'm drunk I like to wrestle and I started wrestling with this girl who was half naked and everything would have been alright up to this point (cuz I had told my girlfriend that i was going to a party and would being playing strip poker and some stuff might happen) However then things went overboard and a part of me started to tell me that I could do what I wanted with this girl (yea by a part of me basically look at it as a double personality seeing how thats it's equivalent) So anyways I ended up having sex with this girl who I found out likes me (kinda duh, why would she have sex with me if she didn't) and now I'm confused on what to do. Oh and its only been about 3 days since I cheated and me and my girlfriend will be seeing each other tomorrow.

I see my options as this:
1) I can come out and tell my girlfriend and ruin her life (No understatement like DEMOLISH her life)
2) I can completely Lie to her and get the people who know to be quiet (they are all good friends)
3) I can tell part of the truth that suggests that something happened without saying it happened and as such not lie but not tell her I cheated thus not destroying her life

Then again I may be missing something other then the fact I'm an idiot who cheated on someone who is very serious about him. Any suggestions?

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I think you should own up. And take the consequences. I have a hunch she will get over it.
Also maybe give up drink, clearly you have an alcohol problem. I'm serious I think you do, if your attributing your infidelity to drinking. Quit drinking until you have matured. Tell your girlf you will quit drinking, she may give you a chance if you do that.
And promise to end any friendship with the other girl, there's no point hurting her too

I don't think she has to surprise me, I know she is a strong girl. And yes part of me is yelling why don't you tell her but other part, the same part that compelled me to cheat, is saying what the hell you can get away with this and not have any problems.

Personaly if it was me I would want to know. Just try talking to her carmly and tell her u didn't really know what u was doing at the time and u know it was a big mistake now.

You played roulette with you relationship that night. You may have won strip poker, but you lost the roulette. Own up. Your girlf deserves to make her own choice on whether to forgive you or not. And its not cool to be playing strip poker anyway. Your meant to be in relationship. She put trust in you that night, you totally let her and you down. Give her the choice to stay or go. You know its rite thing to do

No drinking wasn't what screw me the most, yes it did take away the last bit of logic however most of my common sense was screwed over with other problems in my life so when I got drunk this time I didn't care what happened as much. Without that stress in my life this wouldn't have happened for I have and would have refused actions like these. But of course excuses are stupid and pointless

I was drunk I love that.

Oh my god I was drunk I slept with her it don't count


You cheated man I have no sympathy for you. You will get what is coming to you

Enjoy

I never said it didn't count. If I thought it didn't count then why would I even have meantioned it?

*sigh* see telling her is easy to start but the problem is saying everything. I most likely will stop half way through unless I can find a way to deal with the part of me that says I can get away with only saying half

Want to know how to get past that part? Imagine someone you care about, did the same thing. Would you want them to stop halfway? You reap what you sow man, all you get to decide now is how deep your going to dig that hole.

Well once again its parts of me, one says I would want to know the full true the other half says if they can slip it by me then good for them.

Look the absolute worst thing that can happen is she gets mad and dumps you. And u deserve that anyway. Then again she may forgive you. And as for the drink, if it gave u the final push at the last moment to cheat, you do have a problem. Have u thought about how u are going to make it up to her if she stays with u. because believe me, a man who cheats or woman, is going to have to make big lifestyle changes. She is never going to want u in the same room as that other girl. Have u considered that?

Yes I have and I know that I would have work to do if she doesn't hate me or dumps me. And this other girl is a friend so the not being in the same room as her would be hard, however some precautions will be taken when we hang out.

Sorry but I think if your serious, you would have to end that friendship. Otherwise your not serious or sorry. How could you continue being her mate, and it killing your girlfriend. I think your better off single. Good luck though

I'm not a mate.. . and even if the friendship was ended that wouldn't help much we hang out with the same people too much we would still run into each other. And honestly I don't know how serious I am but I know she is very serious about the relation we have so I want to be serious for her. HOWEVER I think by bouncing my thoughts off ppls on here it has made me come to a choice and a plan

If you don't tell her than you run the risk of the truth coming out by the people you both hang around with, which would be much worse in the long run for both of you. You had the balls to do the crime now have the balls to own up to it. If she dumps you then it's her call, she has a right to know, not only because you cheated but because she thinks you're being loyal to her and yet you slept with someone else who could potentially have a sexually transmitted disease that you could pass on to your girlfriend.

I love the oops I got drunk and had sex with someone, but honestly it wouldn't normally happen if my life was better. Stop making excuses, you aren't as afraid of hurting her as you are of getting hurt yourself. It's hard to tell the truth and face the consequences, but it's part of being a mature adult, if you don't consider yourself to be a mature adult than you shouldn't even be having sex period.

Do the right thing, you'll feel better in the long run and she deserves honesty, especially since she isn't getting fidelity.

Theodore, you CAN'T get away with only saying half. If my boyfriend started in on saying something that sounded shady to me like playing strip poker with other girls, I would demand every last detail. Why do you want to be with this girl? Evidently you aren't serious about her if you are off playing strip poker and having sex with another girl. You need to be single, play the field a little bit, then think about getting into a serious relationship. If you have only been dating this girl for a few weeks and you've already cheated on her, this relationship sounds doomed to me. If you tell her and she decides to take you back, she's always going to know what happened and chances are she will always use it against you in a fight. Save you and her the pain. Tell her you had sex with another girl.. plain and simple. Say your sorry if you mean it, then move on. This girl does not deserve this. Chances are she will not want to have anything to do with you anymore, but you have to accept it because you cheated.