I think this No Contact thing is fine for a wee while, but after a while when you really want your ex back you have to keep in touch with him and find out if you can change his mind by attrating him back to you. You have to do this in subtle ways and you must not do this to soon, you will feel when he/she is ready for it. My ex broke up with me more then a year ago and only since a month when I see him I feel he still cares for me, Ifeel some warmth in some way. Although he has got a girlfriend and maybe it is only friendship he is feeling right now, but I am convinced you can get the sparks back, because they were there in the beginning. You must be strong, because he/she might decide not to go back, but I think it is worth fighting for! But you can only do this when you have done your emotional bit of going through the pain of breaking up and trying to learn your lessons from what went wrong!

The whole point of healing is being able to decide what you want. The flaw in your opinion is,

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find out if you can change his mind by attrating him back to you.

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You can't change his mind, only he can. After you have healed, there are many options open to you, besides going back.

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Originally Posted by mmakl

I think this No Contact thing is fine for a wee while, but after a while when you really want your ex back you have to keep in touch with him and find out if you can change his mind by attrating him back to you. You have to do this in subtle ways and you must not do this to soon, you will feel when he/she is ready for it. My ex broke up with me more then a year ago and only since a month when I see him I feel he still cares for me, Ifeel some warmth in some way. Although he has got a girlfriend and maybe it is only friendship he is feeling right now, but I am convinced you can get the sparks back, because they were there in the beginning. You must be strong, because he/she might decide not to go back, but I think it is worth fighting for! But you can only do this when you have done your emotional bit of going through the pain of breaking up and trying to learn your lessons from what went wrong!

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Be careful! I think you are trying to rationalise the fact that you want to break no contact. You are trying to convince yourself that you have moved on enough to be able to break NC. By virtue of the fact you have a motive to do this means you haven't.

I know exactly what you're feeling. In the end it's a game of chance. If you're ready to get your heart broken all over again, then by all means, go for it. I've heard of plenty of fairy tale romance stories of getting back together years after the initial breakup. Hell, I exist because of it. Just be sure of what you're doing, and don't try to sell yourself to him. Your only shot is passively reminding him things could be better by being you. Good luck.