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-   -   Is he gay?straight?just no into me?why then? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=184763)

  • Feb 16, 2008, 04:54 PM
    EmmaJane1
    Is he gay?straight?just no into me?why then?
    Been with him for just over 5 months
    We have had sex 4 times maybe...
    Usually I am the one who's just not into sex
    But I am so attracted to him that I really want to for once.
    And he acts like he doesn't.
    Sometimes he teases me but it is only when he is going home(cause' its late and he's GOT to go to sleep), or some other circumstance where it would be impossible for us to do it.
    Were both mid 20's.
    He works out a lot... dont think he takes steroids, but know he does drink these protein shakes everyday.
    I try to turn him on, but he is just sort of like "oh i have to work/go to sleep/im tired/ect.
    when we did have sex the whole 4 times, he sucked pretty bad, but i didnt tell him. just encouraged him and told him he was great cause i thought maybe he just had no confidence.
    we usually only have sex when we've been drinking too. and then he "cant" stay hard due to the alcohol. which i think is bs.
    is it me?
    maybe i scare him?
    i dunno what to do, it is really frustrating. is he gay maybe?
    he keeps telling me he 'loves me" but why won't he act like it?
    And yes, I have tried addressing this issue, and he says "it's not you babe, i am just tired/its the alcohol/insert excuse here."
  • Feb 16, 2008, 05:12 PM
    Choux
    He doesn't want to have sexual intercourse with you for some reason... just no desire.

    My opinion, after reading so many posts here, I wonder if kids have so much meaningless, anonymous sex so young when they are teens that they just don't like it anymore by the time they grow up. Sex as a disappointing pain in the butt. In its place, masturbation and porn just for relief?

    If you want a sexual relationship, you're going to have to go elsewhere.
  • Feb 16, 2008, 06:04 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Yes, guys do have issues having sex when they are drunk,

    Some guys are not into sex but into a relastionship and may actually want to hold off till latter into a relastionship.
  • Feb 16, 2008, 11:07 PM
    simoneaugie
    If he really spends a lot of time working out, it could affect his libido. Have you two had sex without alcohol? Either way, there's the possibility that his interest in having sex that both of you enjoy will never, ever change.
  • Feb 19, 2008, 12:27 PM
    smoothy
    I'm getting a feeling he's more into playing "catch the sausage" than "Hide the sausage".

    When I was 20 I'd hop in bed with practically any woman that winked at me.
  • Feb 19, 2008, 12:41 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by smoothy
    I'm getting a feeling he's more into playing "catch the sausage" than "Hide the sausage".

    When I was 20 I'd hop in bed with practically any woman that winked at me.

    Warning girls, don't wink keep those eyes wide open.;)

    It sounds like he might not be that into you, but it could also be as Fr Chuck said. Maybe he is trying to build a solid relationship with you and sex isn't in the picture for him right now. He might actually care about you enough to get to know you, your thoughts, beliefs etc. and doesn't want to be distracted by sex. Sex isn't love, but it sure is fun.:p
  • Feb 19, 2008, 01:07 PM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Altenweg
    Warning girls, don't wink keep those eyes wide open.;)

    It sounds like he might not be that into you, but it could also be as Fr Chuck said. Maybe he is trying to build a solid relationship with you and sex isn't in the picture for him right now. He might actually care about you enough to get to know you, your thoughts, beliefs etc. and doesn't want to be distracted by sex. Sex isn't love, but it sure is fun.:p

    I'm married and have been for a while... I'm pretty happy with the wife and know anyone I would pick up is very unlikely to be any better than I already have. :D

    But heck... I'm in my mid 40's and if I wasn't married or in a committed relationship you can be sure I would still hop in the sack with any nice looking interested women. And I passed being 20 years old a full 26 years ago. Maybe he's more into steroids than women. Those two tend to be mutually exclusive.
  • Feb 20, 2008, 12:10 PM
    mirandycc
    Maybe he wants you to play hard to get instead of get it hard. Act uninterested, maybe even resist it a little if he tries, sometimes men find that irresistible
  • Feb 20, 2008, 02:31 PM
    talaniman
    After 5 months your basically still strangers, and there is still much to learn. Do the learning and less sex, to actually recognise what it is you really have. Do you use birth control? Having sex with strange females that you can make pregnant is a turn-off, to some guys who don't want mistakes. Talk to him about it, and see what his response is before you assume. Contrary to popular belief, there are men who chose with the big head, not the small one.

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