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-   -   Did I take her virginity accidentally? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=184724)

  • Feb 16, 2008, 02:37 PM
    makaaveli
    Did I take her virginity accidentally?
    I'm a 21 year old male and my girlfriend is 20, I've been with her for 4 months now we both care a lot for one another. Going into the relationship she said she was a virgin and planned an waiting till marriage. I told her I respect that and would honor that. The other night we were getting hot and heavy and we've done everything except sex in the past but this time while we were getting hot and heavy my penis slipped in about a quarter of the way into her... does that take away her virginity?

    A few people threw out the question "was her hymen intact" and the answer is no... I mean you can break your hymen riding a bike. But the question is still lingering... and no she didn't care that it went in a bit.. I kind of pulled out and we kept on fooling around.
  • Feb 16, 2008, 02:43 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Basically yes, we could sit and discuss how for and far, if the hymen broke but if it went in it counts.

    And let me see you were both naked and you entered her, does not sound like any accident to me, sounds like you did not respect or honor her desire are much as you said you would, but then it sounds like she was not too concerned about it either at that point.
  • Feb 16, 2008, 02:56 PM
    charliegul
    Wow fr chuck your going kind of hard on the poor kid. I think this is a semantics question, scientifically a girl hasn't lost her virginity till her hymen is broken. And as always I stand by science. Although I think you guys may want to explore a more clothes on approach to sex if you don't want to actually have intercourse. And I would be remiss if I did not remind you that if you guys do decide to have sex in the future that you should make use of condoms and of birth control
  • Feb 16, 2008, 03:25 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    We have had a dozen threads on this over the years, while a few say the hymen has to be broken ( if it is even in place, since most are already broken by girls long before they are 20) but in general, entering is entering, I doubt if this was a rape case, he would get off because it did not go in all the way??

    And for heavens name, naked together what did they think were going to happen at some point.
  • Feb 16, 2008, 03:33 PM
    charliegul
    As I said semantics and opinion on when virginity lost, I am saying that honest questions shouldn't be answered with judgement
  • Feb 16, 2008, 03:55 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Well. Sometimes, the hymens of the girls are broken already due to other activities... so I'm going on... if you went inside, then yes. It was sex.

    I also agree with Fr_chuck that it seems like you didn't force it and she didn't really care that you went in either. You were both in a situation that kind of warranted the outcome.

    If you wish, talk to the girl about it, and see how she feels.
  • Feb 16, 2008, 05:31 PM
    Ash123
    Judge not, lest thee be judged.

    Let's be careful here that the crown of religiosity does not lead to earth-bound judgement. That is for God to decide..

    Did you take away her virginity?

    No. You both did. But relax, she has not made love or even had sex. She merely, technically, has lost it. In real life she has a lot that has never been done. And will not if you all keep your clothes on.

    Or, plan to do it and share it in a trusting manner.
  • Feb 16, 2008, 05:50 PM
    Choux
    Keep it simple... intact hymen, she is still a virgin.

    I love the teasing quality of how you are handling the physical part of your relationship with the virgin girl! The longer you can tease her, the better lover you are for her. :)

    The problem is when she is screaming for penetration, it will be extremely painful for a virgin girl... (hopefully, she knows that and won't be surprised)
  • Feb 16, 2008, 05:55 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Choux
    Keep it simple....intact hymen, she is still a virgin.

    I love the teasing quality of how you are handling the physical part of your relationship with the virgin girl! The longer you can tease her, the better lover you are for her. :)

    The problem is when she is screaming for penetration, it will be extremely painful for a virgin girl.....(hopefully, she knows that and won't be surprised)

    '
    They have never stated her hymen is intact, she may have broken it years earlier.

    Take a minute and read this link
    The Hymen - Not The Indicator of Virginity
  • Feb 17, 2008, 09:50 AM
    Synnen
    Wow... if virginity has to do with your hymen, I think I haven't been a virgin since I was about 6--when I got my first bike.

    If your penis went into her vagina, at all, she's not a virgin.

    She could get pregnant from that 1/4 way in, you know--you now get to play the waiting game with THAT.

    If you get naked together, use birth control, for heaven's sake.
  • Feb 17, 2008, 10:04 AM
    bushg
    Makal... If I lick off cake batter on the tip of my finger I did not eat the cake. So from my perspective if your penis just slipped in a little, then she is still a virgin. Does she feel like she had sexual intercourse for the first time? If no, then I would say she is still a virgin. But if you keep playing those nude games it will definitely happen, probably sooner than later.
  • Feb 17, 2008, 10:06 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by makaaveli
    did i take her virginity accidently?

    Hello mak:

    Nope. You put in. She let you. Ain't no accident.

    excon
  • Feb 17, 2008, 01:51 PM
    Alty
    Yup, she's no longer a virgin, regardless of whether her hymen is still intact. When penis enters vagina (even a little bit) that can cause pregnancy and even though I'll probably get into trouble for saying this, I do not believe in virgin birth, at least not now. Of course if he didn't ejaculate then that's a moot point. Either way I don't think she can consider herself a virgin anymore. Welcome to womanhood.
  • Feb 17, 2008, 04:04 PM
    MOWERMAN2468
    makaaveli,
    Go to a dictionary and look up the meanings to :
    Father,
    Fatherhood,
    And parent.
  • Feb 17, 2008, 11:58 PM
    Curious0-1
    LOL! Accident! Mi Culo! I hate to be rude, but it was no accident... You should feel bad for not respecting her desires, but she should also feel bad for not respecting her own desires... Oh well. What's done is done. And maybe it's a good thing for the both of you... Stop fooling yourselves. Just keep an honest and truthful relationship. Sex isn't the end of the world, it can actually help a relationship. Enjoy it! Both of you! Tell her that you love her for giving you something so meaningful to her... But don't kid yourselves. Mucho Amor! :)
  • Feb 19, 2008, 01:52 PM
    smoothy
    If tab "A" was inserted into Slot "B" for any reason she isn't a virgin any more... plain and simple.

    If you had any respect for her wishes to remain a virgin you would have kept it in your pants. There was no Accident, it didn't accidentally come out of your underwear, it didn't accidentally unzip your pants, and it didn't accidentally get past her clothing.
  • Feb 20, 2008, 03:00 PM
    anamia
    Ok... I just want to know who this dude is. He put his penis a quarter of the way in? I've known guys who couln't bag a gnat with their whole penis - much less a fraction. So, Bravo.

    As for the virginity issue. This is really more an issue of belief than physicality. My roomie in college said she was a virgin because she didn't have sex, but she was dishing out fellatio to any guy that looked her way. The hymen issue is a non-issue. People just need to get over it. So, if she feels that her level of sexual activity constitutes losing her V-card... that is really her decision. But personally - I am more of a T-Totaller. I think if you engage in oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex - you truly are not a virgin. The term is supposed to mean that you have never known a man in that sense... and if you have "done everything but" well.. the purity and innocence is gone, so really - what's the point.

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