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-   -   Getting Back to being friends? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=184373)

  • Feb 15, 2008, 12:08 PM
    Stunning07
    Getting Back to being friends?
    Hey guys.. well is being frineds a good idea?. me and my ex/best friend.. we have been trying to work our relathionship out.. there's no hatred what so ever.. were also going on dates.. we told each other 15 dates with no contact.. from my previous post.. man its tuff.. especially when she's acting like we have never had history together... how can I bring that spark.. or attract her once more... I want to do NC.. but later on the future she will tell me I was stupid.. to do so.. and that I left her hanging as a friend.. I'm really confused any advice.. my whole situation is screwed up.. I want it more bad than she does.. I feel like I either want all or nothing

    By the way she told me that she's done trying in our relathionship and its over for good? Its hard for me to understand that... especially when she says she loves me? Kind of crazy I hate when they say that.. but any pointers...
  • Feb 15, 2008, 12:20 PM
    Romefalls19
    First thing, why did you guys break up? How old are you, how long did you date?

    Second, Are you prepared to hear about her new guys she is seeing? If this just ended, I highly doubt it because it hurts me to see my ex with her new mate even though I saw it coming. NC is not for her at all, it is for you to use as time to heal, reflect on the situation and better yourself. Who cares what she thinks of the NC... If you allow her to dictate how the friendship is run, your chances go down even more than she will dump you as a friend when she gets a new man. Don't be her back up plan!! Tell her not to say I love you because of how you feel.
  • Feb 15, 2008, 05:28 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    we have been trying to work our relathionship out.
    YOU have been trying to work it out and get her back as a love interest, she put you in the friendzone a long time ago.
    Quote:

    I want to do NC.. but later on the future she will tell me I was stupid.. to do so.. and that I left her hanging as a friend.. I'm really confused
    Your main problem is your letting her run the whole show, because your afraid to stand up for yourself. You are afraid that by doing so, she will leave your life forever. Hello, she has been gone a long time now. She has been telling you no way with the relationship, so why are you hanging around for crumbs? End it, and leave her alone, and make NEW friends. Your doing this to yourself, its you, not her that has you confused. I would have been long gone.
  • Feb 15, 2008, 05:43 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    how can I bring that spark.. or attract her once more...
    Go back and read all the advice you have been given since March of last year, and you will see that you've been doing it your own way, and it hasn't worked. Take a few suggestions, and you may get to a happier place. Reread, "what to do when you get dumped" . The link is in my signature, and let me know what you think.

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