Ask Me Help Desk - Should I stay after all this?

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 6 years, I am very much in love with him but he does not treat me like someone who he is in love with. We have a 3 year old son and I am pregnant with another child right now. I am educated and have a decent job but we do not live together and he helps me with bills. Problem is he is not around much and yesterday on Valentines Day he called to to say Happy Valentines Day but he did not come to see me or anything. Turns out he was keeping his other son (by another lady) so that the mother could go out. So I was alone, hurt, sad, and depressed on this special day. He didn't even have the decency to tell me ahead of time what was going on. I have spent years being here for this man only to have him disappoint me and hurt me time and time again. I'm fed up but still in love. I feel like I'm being forced to raise my children alone. Please help me I'm so lost and confused.

Me dear,

I feel for you, though I do not have kids with my boyfriend. So let me get this straight, on Valentine's Day, he watched his other child with another woman for her expense? Is he with her? NO! He is with you.

Yes he has a responsibility for this other child but com'on he could have planned something for you two. After all you are with him, so shouldn't he be making you happy on Valentine's Day and not this other woman?

I think you should step back and reevaluate your relationship. As far as the Valentine's Day thing, I think he should have spent it with you. He is under no obligation to babysit just because his ex wanted to go out with someone. I think it's great he is spending time with his child, but it seems to me like the mother should have been arranging for a babysitter if she wanted to go out for Valentine's Day. He should have told her "sorry, you'll have to get a sitter because I have a girlfriend I going to take out". Why should you sit at home just so she can go out? I mean, he is with YOU not her.

If you have been hurt over and over, take some time and consider what this relationship is doing to you. Make a list of the pros and cons. Consider talking to a counselor about it, or if that isn't an option, a mentor whose opinion you respect. Does he pay you child support? If you don't want to be with him, he should be paying child support to you so that you still have help with the bills.

How far along are you? Did he know you wanted him by you at this time, or did you expect him to be there and are disappointed? If he is a good man, could you just be feeling bad, because he chose to be with his other family and not you??

Quote:

Originally Posted by LOVEHURT2

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 6 years, i am very much in love with him but he does not treat me like someone who he is in love with. We have a 3 year old son and i am pregnant with another child right now. I am educated and have a decent job but we do not live together and he helps me with bills. Problem is he is not around much and yesterday on Valentines Day he called to to say Happy Valentines Day but he did not come to see me or anything. Turns out he was keeping his other son (by another lady) so that the mother could go out. So i was alone, hurt, sad, and depressed on this special day. He didn't even have teh decency to tell me ahead of time what was going on. I have spent years being here for this man only to have him disappoint me and hurt me time and time again. I'm fed up but still in love. I feel like i'm being forced to raise my children alone. Please help me i'm so lost and confused.

Can you read what you wrote to yourself? What do you think? He does not care about you, and it is a bad situation, but I am sure you knew this. You probably looked for an excuse to stay with him. Well, have your baby and get your together. I hope you are working. IT WILL BE HARD, but you have your kids to think about.
P.S I do not think he other baby mother went out. He was there with her. Don't fall for that, please.
Again, read what you wrote.

Oh.. Yeah if he is a good father.. please don't take it out on the kids. If he wants to come see them, then let him. Just do you.

Really, how educated are you. You have 1 1/2 kids with this guy, you are not married and he is not around much. He has a kid with another woman, who he decides to help out over you.

You need to really think about what's right and what's wrong before you make these important decisions in life because you are simply making bad choices.