Ask Me Help Desk - On a break.

Me and my boyfriend have been really good friends for a year, and got together about 3 and a half months ago. It was going really well, he's everything I would ask for, great personality, good looking (although I'm not shallow, personality is more important) caring, etc. it was going well as he always wanted to be with me, we always had a good time cuddling and kissing, and then one night it all went a bit far too soon and we ended up sleeping together after a month. I didn't regret it, but after I thought it was too soon, because he wanted it more and more.
As we started to have it more and more, I began to feel differently towards him, but I know he wasn't using me for sex as if we weren't together he would always be texting me, but after a while even that got a little frustrating. I also noticed little things like he never really asked if my day had been OK, or anything, but people tell me that's just lads for you?
Instead of talking to him about his high sex drive, and wanting to be wth me all the time, or in contact, I flipped and told him we were on a long break.
Now he says he can't live without me and needs me and really wants me, and I made his life complete and made him a better person, and he really cares for me. It sounds obbessive, but I can't work him out whether its genuine or not. He's tried so hard to get me back, but I don't know what I want, I miss him a lot, but I'm also quite happy being single.

I think you should have a talk with him and let him know these things. Tell him what bothers you and that you would like to take the relationship a bit slower. If that doesn't work and make you happy then be single. If you don't care about him so much that you'd rather be single, then that's also a choice you can make. Either way, just make sure you are happy. Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want!

Its obvious you need more than sex, and text messages, to be happy in a relationship, yet its telling that you are happy single. Stay that way, and if he starts doing things that attracts you back, then so be it. Until then he has to learn to live without you. Be honest with him is all you should do, and he still might not get it. This forum is full of those, wanting more than friendship from an ex, and being confused by the mixed signals. If he were to post here, "how to get her back" I would tell him to stop being confused, and go No Contact, and move on with his life.So you see the other part of the story?? As long as he feels he has a chance he will pursue you. So either you set him free, stop his confusion, and let him heal. Or you keep giving him false hope. (forget being friends, he wants what he had, and can't settle for anything less). Hope I gave you enough to make a choice. My advice, leave him alone, as I don't think you want him that bad, so stop contacting him, and let him heal. You should also tell him straight up for his own good, to stop contacting you. Your call.

how old are you?

It makes a difference...

Quote:

Originally Posted by undecidedmind

me and my boyfriend have been really good friends for a year, and got together about 3 and a half months ago. it was going really well, hes everything i would ask for, great personality, good looking (although im not shallow, personality is more important) caring, etc. it was going well as he always wanted to be with me, we always had a good time cuddling and kissing, and then one night it all went a bit far too soon and we ended up sleeping together after a month. i didnt regret it, but after i thought it was too soon, because he wanted it more and more.
as we started to have it more and more, i began to feel differently towards him, but i know he wasnt using me for sex as if we werent together he would always be texting me, but after a while even that got a little frustrating. i also noticed little things like he never really asked if my day had been ok, or anything, but people tell me thats just lads for you?!
instead of talking to him about his high sex drive, and wanting to be wth me all the time, or in contact, i jus flipped and told him we were on a long break.
now he says he can't live without me and needs me and really wants me, and i made his life complete and made him a better person, and he really cares for me. it sounds obbessive, but i can't work him out whether its genuine or not. hes tried so hard to get me back, but i don't know what i want, i miss him a lot, but im also quite happy being single.

If your young.. like in your 20's move on... single is fun.. he sounds like he is self centered and only cares about his needs... family should be important in every relationship... he does not ask about your dad... u didn't say if he was sick or anything, I presume he is and if your boyfriend didn't ask, that means he does not care.. move on.. life is too short and full of so many things to do. But, omly you can make the decision

Quote:

Originally Posted by undecidedmind

me and my boyfriend have been really good friends for a year, and got together about 3 and a half months ago. it was going really well, hes everything i would ask for, great personality, good looking (although im not shallow, personality is more important) caring, etc. it was going well as he always wanted to be with me, we always had a good time cuddling and kissing, and then one night it all went a bit far too soon and we ended up sleeping together after a month. i didnt regret it, but after i thought it was too soon, because he wanted it more and more.

So far so good!

Quote:

Originally Posted by undecidedmind

as we started to have it more and more, i began to feel differently towards him, but i know he wasnt using me for sex as if we werent together he would always be texting me, but after a while even that got a little frustrating. i also noticed little things like he never really asked if my day had been ok, or anything, but people tell me thats just lads for you?!

You are insecure and need help. How's this - How's your day going? Does that make you feel better! It is called being needy. You want what you can't have.

Quote:

Originally Posted by undecidedmind

instead of talking to him about his high sex drive, and wanting to be wth me all the time, or in contact, i jus flipped and told him we were on a long break.

Very mature thing to do (yeah right), this is why so many guys are on this forum confused.

Quote:

Originally Posted by undecidedmind

now he says he can't live without me and needs me and really wants me, and i made his life complete and made him a better person, and he really cares for me. it sounds obbessive, but i can't work him out whether its genuine or not. hes tried so hard to get me back, but i don't know what i want, i miss him a lot, but im also quite happy being single.

He's acting this way because he liked you and hasn't learned to tell you to hit the road. You aren't happy, you are posting here. You need to work through your insecurities. And apologize for breaking the heart of the nice guy who liked you. But because he is now chasing you and crying, you have lost respect for him, but hey, there is always the dirtball with no education who will treat you like dirt and then next week, month, year you will be posting that you love him so much and don't know why he treats you like dirt.