Why are we always attracted to the girl we know is no good? The girl that's fun to flirt with and hang out with but its obvious that they would totally destroy you if you were to pursue a relationship.
Like my situation right now, this girl I adore is completely not the kind of girl I'm looking for... she does things I have no interest in, she hangs out with the kind of people I wouldn't poke a stick at, she's a smoker... and so on
But every time I'm with her or we're hanging out or just chatting (she works at a coffee place and I visit her often) sparks fly... we find ourself blushing, laughing, flirting and I really feel that something could work.
Honestly I think if I wanted to be with her I could start a relationship with her no problem... but its just the fact that the kind of person she is, is so different from what I thought I'd be attracted to... does that make sense? Is it summative enough? Lol
Thanks for any advise on why I'm feeling this way

We are attracted to different people for different reasons. Some would say that we are attracted to people who have qualities that we may need to examine in ourselves. Those qualities in her that you are attracted to are the same as the ones in yourself, and the ones you are not so attracted to are the ones you least like in yourself. I believe everything happens for a reason. If you are that attracted to this girl whom you would normally not go for then I suggest you look for the lesson in this. I would also be interested in her age. What you are attracted to could be the woman she has the potential to become.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by imation

Why are we always attracted to the girl we know is no good? The girl thats fun to flirt with and hang out with but its obvious that they would totally destroy you if you were to pursue a relationship.
Like my situation right now, this girl i adore is completely not the kind of girl im looking for... she does things i have no interest in, she hangs out with the kind of people i wouldn't poke a stick at, she's a smoker... and so on
but everytime im with her or we're hanging out or just chatting (she works at a coffee place and i visit her often) sparks fly... we find ourself blushing, laughing, flirting and i really feel that something could work.
Honestly i think if i wanted to be with her i could start a relationship with her no problem... but its just the fact that the kind of person she is, is so different from what i thought i'd be attracted to... does that make sence? is it summative enough? lol
thanks for any advise on why im feeling this way

---

Because she's fun to be with is why you like her. Nature doesn't give us templates of what we're going to be like and we stick to that rigidly:) 'She doesn't hang with the people you would' - are you finding her exciting as well as attractive? Little bit wild, here? Sounds like you have sexual chemistry going on, but it's what's left after the hormones have calmed down that you need to consider. Why don't you ask her for a nice lightweight casual date and do something she wants to and then if that works, go on another date doing something you'd like to? Might be a learning curve for the pair of you, and just think of it as making a new friend, and not a new relationship?

[we can get easily attracted to the person opposite to us].. it's in us. So no wonder you are getting attractied to that girl.. and every one gets attracted to the perso who makes us happy... it's also normal. [and sometimes you want "that personality" kind of person but like the "opposite personality "kind of that person.. [happens a lot]].. so it's also normal.. and if you guys get ON with each other there will surely be some problems..

I think it's better to stay as frens.. but you still can try what it'll be like to have "the relationship" with her... I bet it's worth the try.. :)..

Best of luck!