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-   -   Is it bad 14 and a baby? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=183949)

  • Feb 14, 2008, 07:32 AM
    xjo0diiex
    Is it bad 14 and a baby?
    I've had a really hARD liife most people wdnt go threw 1 of the fiiings I've been through in there whole life but hay its life I reaaly
    Want a bABY and think this is the best thing but I'm still a child myself people say wait till your 16 or something but I can't can you help me? Mum said she will kik me owt I don't think she will though and take my boyfriend to court but I said I would never talk to her again and she should be supportive with me and if its what I want by the time I have had baby I would be way past 15 any way loads of people co0pe what happens with the money for the child does any one know? Thankx jo0diie xxxxxxxxx:) :confused:
  • Feb 14, 2008, 07:40 AM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    Slow down there hun!

    You are 14 years old and you are thinking about having a baby? What about your education and getting a career in place?

    Think about this: Are you physically, mentally and financially stable enough to bring a life into this world? A child cost a lot of money and your time. Enjoy your young years while you can. Once you have a child there is no stopping it. You won't be as privelaged and free. All your friends will be going out, and you can't because you have to stay home with the child, who needs all your attention. I am not one to back you out of this situation but you SERIOUSLY NEED TO THINK.

    I am 20 and are still debating whether or not to have a child in the next 3 years. I like my freedom for now. I am still young and a child can wait.

    Tell me 5 GOOD and SENSIBLE reasons you want a child at 14?
  • Feb 14, 2008, 08:09 AM
    ScottGem
    You think your mum should be supportive of you ruining not only your life but the life of some, as yet unborn child? Sorry, girl, but you need a wake up call. The only smart thing you said was "im still a child my self". Yes you are and a baby is not going to change that. All it will do is put more pressure on you. Try thinking of that poor child, instead of yourself. And what about the boyfriend. Do you want him to go to jail?

    What "money for the child". You really think someone is going to hand you money to support you?

    I know I sound harsh, but your immature, insensitive and irrational post needs a harsh response. I'm sorry if you have had a hard life, but that's all the more reason not to have a baby now. Spend time getting your act together. Concentrating on making your life BETTER, not worse.
  • Feb 14, 2008, 08:13 AM
    NeedKarma
    On a previous post (that was deleted) you said your previous boyfriend beat you. How much of a history of boyfriends does a 14 year old have? Where are your parents? Who looks after you?
  • Feb 14, 2008, 08:29 AM
    HistorianChick
    Oh wow, Honey, no. It is not a smart thing to have a baby at 14. Its not even smart to "wait until you're 16" to have a baby. I'm 28 and I'm still terrified of the commitment, responsibility, and the life change that a baby brings.

    If you want something to take care of to make your life "have meaning" you need to get a cat or a dog. Even a fish. Really, darlin, you do not need a baby.

    You need a purpose - other than getting pregnant. If I was your Mother I would take that boyfriend of yours to court if he got you pregnant. He would be thrown in jail. I'm sorry sweetie, but that's just the way your Mom is going to respond. Maybe she won't kick you out, but she will take him to court and she will expect you to take responsibility for your grown up actions.

    Wait to be a grown up until you actually reach 21, don't push it... its infinitely better when you wait to grow up.

    Finish high school, go to college, figure out who YOU are THEN start thinking about a baby... but not before.
  • Feb 14, 2008, 08:42 AM
    mafiaangel180
    I know you think a cheery, bouncy baby that loves you will make your dark world better. You want something from a baby... but you have nothing solid to offer it. That's kind of selfish don't you think? If you expect other people to help you... you aren't ready. In order to be a mom, you got to be a woman who can stand on her own. And at 14 that's not possible. Instead of having a baby to love and nurture. Start by loving and nurturing yourself. Things will fall into place.
  • Feb 14, 2008, 09:06 AM
    xjo0diiex
    thank you its really helped well some of you. I will get my spelling right when I want to but thanks any way's love. Historian chick u should go on and get your own site about advice you are really great at it thank you for helping the lot of you x jodie xxx
  • Feb 14, 2008, 09:10 AM
    ScottGem
    Well there may be hope for you yet. Please keep us posted on your growing up and let us help you as much as we can.
  • Feb 14, 2008, 09:11 AM
    xjo0diiex
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NeedKarma
    On a previous post (that was deleted) you said your previous boyfriend beat you. How much of a history of boyfriends does a 14 year old have? Where are your parents? Who looks after you?

    Need karma : hi yeah he did I was with him for a year and I'm nearly 15 but I am mature fopr my age every 1 says to that knows me my mum found out and was helpful thanks my mum and dad looks after me very well thanks and people say oh my god she 14 but if I was immature I would have gone and got pregnant not asked for advice do you agree? I will wait now till I have a job and in a stable relation ship thank you xx
  • Feb 14, 2008, 10:11 AM
    buggage
    Glad to hear. You said you have gone through really hard times, and by waiting until you are prepared in every way you can be(age/maturity, financially, relationship), you help to ensure that you child won't have to go through as many hard times either. So good for you
  • Feb 15, 2008, 07:32 AM
    Ellie11
    Comment on bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's post
    Great awnser mate!
  • Feb 15, 2008, 08:13 AM
    LearningAsIGo
    If you've already had a hard life, why in the world would you want to make it harder? Why would you want to give your baby a hard life? Babies need adult mothers not mothers who only have them as an excuse to leave home with their boyfriends. Not to mention how dangerous it is to have a baby when your body is still young and underdeveloped. Physically, this could be very dangerous for both you and a baby.

    Grow up, finish school, get a good job and a stable relationship first. If you've had a hard life then you should want to make it better before you bring a baby into this world so that it has the great life you never had.

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