Xo

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Originally Posted by daydreamin1224

My boyfriend has a 2 yr old son and is always having trouble with the mother. She has actual emotional problems has to take medication that she refuses to take. He is always worried about his son and stayed with her all this time only for him. Well he recently told her that he can not take it anymore that he is done. She is very controlling and he is very unhappy. Well now I feel awful because she is now threatening him with taking his son away. Apparently there is a chance that his "son" is not really his. All this time he had no clue he has been there since day one and even had signed the birth certificate. His son means the world to him and he is considering going back to her in fear of the chance of him not being his. If he were not to go back and she decides to do the DNA test and it proves that he is not the father would he have any rights? Is there anything that he can do to be able to still be in the child's life? The guy that she says may be his father is not the kind of guy you want in your child's life. The mother got out of that relationship because he was abusive and has been know to be abusive in many other relationships. Apparently she has been sneaking behind his back and still seeing the other guy and is claiming that is why his ''son" is not his. Please tell me there is something we can do to keep this child in our life!?!?

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Let me just get this straight -

YOUR boyfriend has stayed and is staying/living with HIS girlfriend or wife - the mother of HIS child - for 4 years only because HE is worried about the welfare of the child. This is instead of actually going to Court to get custody and protect the child if any of what you say is true. Who watches out for the child when HE's with YOU? Or does he bring the child with HIM? Or does he leave the child unsupervised with the "dangerous" mother?

However, it is buying him time with you and he doesn't have to commit in any direction.

BUT, in the meantime now SHE says HE may not be the father BUT the person who may be the father is/was abusive.

And now YOU are concerned about keeping the child in YOUR life ("keep this child in OUR life").

AND the mother is also "sneaking around behind HIS back" and seeing the other guy/potential father (and word is out that the other guy is abusive) - which sounds a lot like YOUR relationship with the father. Somehow it's different when SHE is cheating on HIM than when HE is cheating on HER with YOU.

You have no business in this child's life at this time, nor do you have any claim to the child - tell your boyfriend to grow a spine, decide what he wants, get a DNA test, go to Court, protect the child (if any of what he says about the mother is even remotely true).

Another instance where HE had NO problem having unprotected sex with someone and living with her for four additional years and now he may (or may not) want out of the relationship and she's a troubled person who won't take her medication and "cheats" with abusive men.

And you believe your boyfriend, right? "I love you honey but somebody's got to protect my kid." You really are daydreamin'!

SUMMARY: HE - and this has absolutely nothing to do with you - should go to Court and establish paternity and his rights. Then let's see what direction he chooses to travel.

This is harsh but you don't you have any friends who have ever tried to talk to you about this?

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Originally Posted by daydreamin1224

xo

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Why don't you re-write it and give me another shot at some advice?

And I'm sure lots of other people come from different angles and will have different advice - it's just at first reading, WOW!