Hi all,

I found out a week ago that my wife had an affair with a guy at work. Now my mind is occupied 24hrs/day with this issue and I become very anxious. All I can think about is her. How can one control one's thoughts in difficult time like these?

Thank you!

You can't I've been through the same thing you just have to ride it out believe me it does get easier are you still with your wife I found it really hard to forgive and forget 2years down the line I still throw it at him you never forget, something always makes it resurface I got no trust anymore for him and always want to know where he's been who with etc I can't relax anymore because I'm always waiting for him do do it again

If it was the first time and you love her forgive her completely. She may have realised it was a mistake. In some work situations this is bound to happen and in most cases it is nothing serious. But if it isn’t the only time you may have to face the fact that your wife is falling out of love with you. You can fight to keep her but remember, it takes two.

We always had an excellent marriage, or so I thought. I blame myself for this, as I was in difficulty at work. Spending 16hrs/day at the office. I removed myself from her, what did I expect to happen? We were very in love and I don't believe that she has done something like this before. I know I can forgive her completely, not sure one will ever forget though. BUT as you say, it takes two! I don't want to put her under pressure, and I think this is the main cause of my anxiety. I don't know where she is at this stage!

The only answer for that is to talk to her. Let her know how you feel and ask her where she see this relationship of yours going. Does she want to make this right or is it over. Harsh I know but the talking and the truth will save everyone a lot of time and energy - and pain in the long run. Get in there! Stop trying to be the gentleman! Your marriage is in trouble don't just stand by and watch the ship go down - do something.