I am using this forum because I am in a really desperate place.

My (ex)boyfriend Bryan and I have been very close, and been together for about 2 and a half years. Im 20, he's 22.

So, things between us have generally been amazing. Very much in love, very happy with one another. He was my other half, and my best friend. We have had a very strong relatiionship.

Over the last few months we hit some turbulent times. It sort of started around our anniversary in September. To make a long story short it was a big deal for me- and noe so much for him, and we had some arguments over it. Then, I turned 20- which for some reason was sort of bog for me. I questioned where I was going in my life, and about being with the same man, for what could be forever.

I had also been acting a little to friendly with my friend/ex. And then one night, I was stoned, and we had "phone sex." and there were some other inappropriate conversations. The worst part (don't hate me) y ex kissed me. So I told Bryan about it. Everything. And he was upset, but decided to work through it. After this my ex, Jesse, and I stopped it. Until he said some things to be like I had become a sort of an obsessive fantasy and he HAD to tell me about it. So Bryan found a conversation sort of like this, discussing some things we shouldn't have been. In a joking manner, but nevertheless inappropriate.

So we broke up, for about a week. It was probably the worst week ever. All I did was cry, sleep, and I couldn't keep down any food. I cried and cried and cried, missed work some. A lot out of self loathing, about knowing I deserved to be dumped and sad that I'd hurt him.

He came over to talk about a week later and we ended up sort of being together again. He said he never wanted to break up, but did not know how to handle the situation. So we decided to work through it and regain my trust and hopefully get back together.

Things were going great, we talked some. He said he was sure it'd work out.
Today We had a great day, I "kidnapped" him this morning to take him to his favorite place for breakfast for valentines day. Great day.

Then, tonight- he wrote me in an e-mail that he's decided he can't get over it, that it's driving him crazy (not all the time, just when he mulls over it) and he needs to be alone.

We talked on the phone some.

I'm so distraught. This is hard because I've laid all my sins on the table. I' very regretful of all that has happened. I no longer speak to my ex. This experience has changed my life, I feel very focused and I know what I want (Him) the important people in my life.

I just figured it out the hard way?

What could I do win him back? He says he loves me still. I'm beside myself. I actually had to go to urget care because I was having panic attacks and was very overwhelmed. I know he belong together. We had a very strong relationship, before I tore it down. But does a month or so of confusion and negate everything else? All the good I've done, all I've work toward?


Please help. I need to make this right. I need to be back with my man, I think he needs it too.

You did a bad thing and he was right to be angry with you. You got to work hard to make this right, if he gives you that opportunity. Trust is not given, its earned. So earn it.

You may have thought you had a strong relationship, but it wasn't strong enough to you going out of bound twice with an ex. You made these trust issues, and must give him time, and space to cope with them. I can't say that he will be back, but any pleading, and begging by you, will fall on deaf ears. You just have to wait it out, and work on yourself for now. I hope he calls you, but the prospects aren't good, as it takes a very long time, to regain trust, once it is broken. Sorry I could be more encouraging.