Here is my situation: My son is 4 years old and my ex girlfriend has full custody of him. I am being told different info from different people -- some say I'll never win because the courts are set up for women, and others say that I have a great chance at winning. Basically I have a laundry list of reasons she should not have him including but not limited to: being arrested in 2007 for stealing OxyContin from the pharmacy she worked at, attending a methadone clinic to get off those drugs, being arrested in 2006 for an undisclosed reason (her mother admitted she had been arrested, but wouldn't tell me why), inability to hold a job for more than a few months, is bi-polar and inability to stay on her medication, threatening that she'll take him away and I'll never see him again because we get in a small argument, refusal to put him in school because "it costs too much", prior documented (by her mother) drug use including Cocaine and Exstacy, not having a stable place to live, agreeing to allow her mother guardianship over my son because she cannot take care of him. There is more from where this came from. Do I have enough evidence to support my request for full custody? The only thing I can see that would be against me is that since I live out of state (GA, he lives in NH) and have only been able to afford (and time off from work) to see him every 6 months (not to mention I pay full child support and medical insurance in addition to paying my own way to be able to exercise my visitation and parental obligations). I talk with him as regularly and often as I can, it doesn't help that when I leave messages for him, I rarely get a call back. Does anyone have a similar experience they could share with me, and how you won custody??

You should try, that is all you can do. It is really up to what judge you get and their opinions, I have seen drug addict hookers keep custody of their children and the judge actually award them more child support to help them stop hooking. Real case, the father had photos of the inside of her home, showing beer cans everywhere, had evidence showing minor children being left alone for hours at a time, even proof ( including names) of men she brouht to her home to have sex for money with the kids in the other room. Sounds like there should be no chance to lose, well they lost. Father was a business person, large home no problems at all.

Joint custody may be hard since you don't live near the child.

All I can say is to try as hard as you can.

You say your paying child support and such for your child. Is it court ordered or something your doing because it's the right thing to do ? Im only asking because if its court ordered then that's the court your going to have to deal with as far as custody matters. It may be worth it to get a parental evaluation and be sure she gets a hair folical test for drugs as well as the urine and blood. Gather as much as you can. Your going to need it for ammo. If you go through an evaluation it might not be cheap because your in separate states ( usually $1,500 - $2,300 ) to get one done but your case it might be more. Try not to overstate anything.. unless you have proof or directly saw it occur then its iffy at best to mention it. Mom saying daughter did doesn't really hold up in court unless you can use that info to get court records so you have proof. Good Luck and like was said seek a competent lawyer for what your trying to do.