Today may be the turning point in my failing marriage. I told my husband I didn't want to be in the marriage any longer because everything in the marriage isn't working at all and we are struggling financially. After we had gone our separate ways, I couldn't bear to see him leave. So, I sent him a text message telling him all the things I need from our marriage and if I don't get these things, the marriage won't work. I know this sounds selfish but it's the truth. We can't afford marriage counseling but both of us are willing to give it a shot. This is my next resort to getting us help for our marriage.

My question is: What kinds of things have you done to make your marriage work when things seem so far out of reach or when it seems like you have exhausted all outlets and are ready to call it quits?

Get out of debt. Over half of marital stress comes from finances. Living WITHIN your means has an unbelievable effect on everyone in the household. You have less "stuff" but you aren't at each throats... sounds like a great tradeoff.

Getting out of debt means growing up... both of you. To do it, you have to put your wants aside, a great skill that has immediate benefits in marital terms.

If you're interested, send me a Private Message and I'll help get you hooked up with some bullet-proof resources, not one of those debt-management companies that rip you off, real resources you can use on your own to accomplish this and rebuild.

Budget, even if it hurts, and also remember he will most likely have a list of things he wants from you to stay with you also.

But if you can't afford cable TV it goes, if you can't afford anything but dial up internet then that is it,

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Originally Posted by blkpnthr661

Today may be the turning point in my failing marriage. I told my husband I didn't want to be in the marriage any longer due to the fact that everything in the marriage isn't working at all and we are struggling financially. After we had gone our separate ways, I couldn't bear to see him leave. So, I sent him a text message telling him all the things I need from our marriage and if I don't get these things, the marriage won't work. I know this sounds selfish but it's the truth. We can't afford marriage counseling but both of us are willing to give it a shot. This is my next resort to getting us help for our marriage.

My question is: What kinds of things have you done to make your marriage work when things seem so far out of reach or when it seems like you have exhausted all outlets and are ready to call it quits?

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The debt you experiencing is clouding your judgement about your marriage. There is no quick fix, you must pull togther as a team and try to face you financial difficulties. Do you love him? Is he a good man? If the answer is yes to both questions, then go cherish him, and pull together. Marriage isint easy.

This person hasn't been back, it appears, since posting this message. Oh well.

Communication is one of the best resources for marriage.
Also, selflessness is another part of marriage. When I married I left my hometown in PA to move to where my husband lives. I don't like the state he lives in and he knows about it.
I almost left him several times before we married because I don't like the state. He was sobbing so hard when I was packing once that he lost his breath. At that moment, I knew I loved him more than any hometown loyalty. Marriage is give and take. It can't be one gives and one takes. Marriage is 50/50. Last night, I was mad at him. He didn't realize I was upset until I told him about it. It cleared the air and things are much better.
Finances can be a strain also on marriage. I had to quit working last year because of a back injury. We had to learn to live within a budget.
If you really love him it will work out. Nowadays we want a quick fix for everything. But marriage is an ongoing effort. Take time to enjoy each other. Do things that you did before you married. Hopefully you'll realize why you married him and fall in love with him all over again. Best wishes.