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-   -   How do I get her to make more of an effort to hang out/ talk to me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=183346)

  • Feb 12, 2008, 02:23 PM
    atothec88
    How do I get her to make more of an effort to hang out/ talk to me?
    Hey everyone,

    Here's my situation and it is a really frustrating one. Ive been talking to this girl for awhile now and the feelings between us are definitely mutual, yet I find that I am always asking her to chill or I am the one that always calls her. Now I don't think it is that she doesn't want to hang out or talk to me she just leaves that all for me. How can I get her to communicate more, or what does it mean when she doesn't try as hard as me?

    I'd appreciate any help I can get thanks
  • Feb 12, 2008, 05:40 PM
    imation
    There's a lot of reasons. She might by shy or not good at communicating, she might think that your not that interested in her, she might not be as interested in you as you think she is. Just sit back and play it cool, if something is going to happen she will contact you eventually. If she doesn't and you keep persisting, it could be an early sign of a painful relationship that you don't want to be in
  • Feb 13, 2008, 01:13 AM
    The_Pretender
    I agree 100% with imation. I was in a similar situation which hurt me on so many levels. To be blunt, she said she never wants to see/and or hear from me ever again. Typically, in my experience, if a girl isn't receptive it has less to do with you and more to do with her. I suggest, if you have the will power, not attempting communication with her for awhile and go from there. Don't assume she has the same feelings until you are absolutely, 100% positive on this. It's better to have a friend than to ruin the relationship with assumptions. I am actually going to ask a question myself relating to what I have just said. I miss her an awful lot and would hate somebody else to go through the same thing.
  • Feb 13, 2008, 08:41 AM
    talaniman
    This is hardly what I call mutual, as your initiating everything. Back up a bit, and be less available, by initiating less, and balancing your life with other things you enjoy, besides her. How often does your calling her take place?
  • Feb 13, 2008, 09:16 AM
    HistorianChick
    Maybe its because I'm a girl, but I'm having a different response than those above. Granted, I agree with them, but what about this girl?

    You said you call and "ask her to chill"? She may be wanting you to make a move, like, "Would you like to go out for dinner?" Kind of define what you are both feeling. She could be (like imation said) shy and not wanting to tell you that she doesn't just want to "chill" but she wants to go out on a date?

    Maybe I'm reading into it more than what is there, but just a thought. :)
  • Oct 17, 2009, 02:21 PM
    dream11207
    Girls have strict rules about calling dudes and will NOT usually start doing it (if they know what they're doing with men) until you two are exclusive, relationship status. How new is your relationship? If she doesn't feel like you are boyfriend girlfriend, she may not feel comfortable calling you just yet!

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