Does anyone remember the Constitution?
I took my wife's car to Circuit City Sunday night to get a new stereo put in. It was going to take a little while, so to kill some time I walked over to a favorite store of mine that was about a mile or so away. By the time I get there, I remembered that they closed early on Sundays, so I began walking back by a different route, this one taking me through the neighborhood instead of the commercial area.
I'm walking along, looking at the houses, which aren't bad. It's not the country club by any means, but I would need to at least double my current salary to even begin looking to buy in that neighborhood.
Here and there I see other folks out walking, since it was a pleasant evening, and I exchanged greetings or waves with most all of them. Even petted a couple of particularly fine looking Labradors.
Next thing I know, there's a police cruiser pulling up next to me. The cop gets out and says, "Hey, I need to talk to you."
I look at him, thinking he might be one of a handful of friends I have on the force, but I've never seen him before. Young guy, maybe late twenties.
"Yessir?" says I.
"What are you doing?" he asks me.
"Walking."
"Do you live around here?"
"Nope, live about three or four miles north of here."
"So why are you here?"
Now I begin to feel the first twinges of irritation.
I reply, "Because this is where I choose to be at this time."
"Do you have business here?" he asks.
"Is this an exclusive, gated community that I need permission to be in?" I ask back.
"Well, no, but..."
"Then my business is my own. Have I broken a law?"
He says, "No, but a lady that was walking around here called us and said you made her nervous."
"Was she pulling her two year old son in a red plastic wagon? Was she wearing an OU sweatshirt?" I asked.
"Yeah, that's her."
"Interesting. She commented to me on the unusually mild weather we were having, and I played with her son for a second before walking on. If she was that nervous, perhaps she shouldn't have spoken to me."
He starts getting a little defensive now. "Well, sir, you aren't exactly dressed for an evening exercise--wearing jeans and all."
"If I remember correctly, sir, along with her OU sweatshirt, she was wearing jeans, as well. Did you question her? Or is there perhaps some unspoken dress code that one must adhere to in this particular neighborhood when walking after 5 pm?"
"Sir, may I have some identification please?"
Now I've gone straight from mildy irritated to downright pissed.
"I, sir, am King Leonidas, and these three hundred men are my personal bodyguard. I'm merely going out to stretch my legs a bit." Nothing like a reference to a good movie.
"Sir, if you do not voluntarily produce some identification, I will restrain you and locate it myself," the Gestapo wannabe tells me.
"That would be an extremely bad idea, and would not work out well for you, officer. If that's the course you wish to take, may I offer you the suggestion of calling for some assistance?" Probably not the best approach, but I'm getting madder by the second.
"I don't need to. I am a highly trained police officer."
"Apparently they don't teach Constitutional Law at the police academy anymore. Pity. In any event, I have been much, much more trained than you have, and haven't forgotten a damned thing. I say again, have a broken a law, or do you have reasonable suspicion to believe that I have?"
"What is your occupation sir?"
"I'm a teacher by day. By night and weekend, I take walks around neighborhoods and pet dogs and speak to people--you know, all that bloodthirsty . One more time--say what you suspect me of, charge me, or get out of my face. I did not survive and thrive in two official wars and innumerable brushfires to be harassed by some wannabe brownshirt who would like nothing less than to be on border guard in the former Soviet Union demanding people's papers."
He called his supervisor, who--in plain earshot--asked him why he was talking to me in the first place. The episode ended there.
So what the hell? Can a guy not even walk down the street anymore? Used to be, we worried (well, other people worried) about muggers and thugs and stuff. Now we got to worry about the cops too?
Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge fan of law, order, and justice. Unfortunately, today's police force has nothing to do with those things.