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-   -   Is this normal? Why do I still care I don't get it (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=183059)

  • Feb 11, 2008, 06:39 PM
    jojo114
    Is this normal? Why do I still care I don't get it
    Lately its been very hard for me to think that my ex might be liking another girl the same way he liked me. Its been a very long time now that we've been apart. The weird thing is that we have no contact whatsoever except for a classe together. I don't know why I still care about him but it is seriously driving me nuts..! I don't know if it's the idea of him having a new girl or if its just me wanting to talk to him and fix our passed.. he told me he still loved me a month ago and I didn't say I love you back. I needed time to think. And when I figured it out that I really did love him it was too late.. he found himself someone new. And the passed month actually almost the passed year I've been turning down relashionships. This guy confuses me. He says I still love you then does not try to do anthing to prove it for real. I don't like the picture of him with a new girl it freakin kills me, I don't even like that girl. Me and him had so much he was my first kiss and I was his, I don't believe that he can throw that away so easily. I've tried so many things to get over him but it never works old songs come back and movies remind me of him. And at least before there was hope but now looks like he found someone new, and I'm so mad and jelouse! Also today after school I had to go to my detension and I saw them almost holding hands I flipped I went to my detention room and was pratically cring but not exaggerated. Please HELP
  • Feb 11, 2008, 08:32 PM
    rachel101
    I think it's totally normal. Whether you want to be his girlfriend or not you don't want to think of him with someone else. That's real typical. Sometimes I wonder if it's a control issue. I think the opposite of love is apathy and until you feel apathetic about him you may have a hard time with this. It's part of growing up and the first heartbreak is absolutely the hardest. Spend time with your friends and just try to do the normal stuff you did before you even met him.
  • Feb 11, 2008, 08:45 PM
    oneguyinohio
    Detention... A detention is typically carried out in a room that offers little to no amenities for pleasure

    Sounds like your love life may be suffering from a bit of a detention as well. I'd suggest participating in some fun activities with friends. Get to know other people and stop punishing yourself over the past. At the same time, follow the rules of those in authority so you won't end up with additional things to worry about.
  • Feb 11, 2008, 11:13 PM
    imation
    You need to get over him, he has moved on and so should you, that doesn't mean you should be in another relationship, tahts not the only way to get over him.
    Keep up the no contact, just stop caring about him, don't look at him don't think about him don't talk to him or talk about him. You'll be over it sooner than you think
  • Feb 12, 2008, 07:49 AM
    HistorianChick
    Darlin, you still care for him because you really cared for him when you were together. You gave a part of your heart to him and he rejected it. That's the why.

    But lets talk about the "what now?"

    You're much too young to have this much heartache, hon. You've been hurt, your heart has been stomped on, you've rejected other potential good guys, and you're still dwelling on this guy who hurt you. Honey, you need to try and forget him.

    We all say "move on," "stop caring," etc. etc. but we really understand all that it means to "move on." We've all been there. We've all felt the agony of watching an ex fall in love with some other smiley girl/guy. We've all seen the dreadful kisses and hand holdings and starry eyes that shouldn't be given to someone other than ourselves. But hon, we've all had to move on.

    We've all had to say, "Alright. That's enough. I'm in charge of my destiny, my life, and my heart. No ex is going to take my happiness, my joy, my future from me. He may have stolen my present, but he hasn't stolen my future."

    He's stolen your present because you're giving it to him. He's still alive in your heart, still capturing your moments, and still holding on to your emotions... because you are letting him. Decide that you are going to take back your heart, your moments, and your emotions... and go on into that beautiful, unknown future ahead of you.

    Live in the moment, hon. Make each moment count for you. Don't give him control of your moments. Read my signature. Live your life for you, not him.

    There are a plethora of other guys out there... find one that is as interested in being with you as you are with him. He's out there.

    Good luck, Hon!! :)
  • Feb 12, 2008, 11:20 AM
    talaniman
    This is normal, we all have been there, and it sucks, but we learn to cope with those feelings, and move forward, with our lives.
  • Feb 12, 2008, 11:31 AM
    JBeaucaire
    Here's an old story I think clarifies your situation:

    Quote:

    A flood is rising to the top of houses, and a lady is sitting on her roof praying hard, "Lord, save me!"

    While she is praying, a man on a raft floats by and calls for her to jump on. She says, "No, the Lord is going to save me!" He floats away.

    Then a rowboat pulls up and little man calls her into the boat. "No, the Lord is going to save me" she says and prays some more. The boat rows away.

    Then a helicopter stops overhead and man drops down a bucket, "JUMP IN" he cries, but again she just prays harder and harder. The helicopter helps others instead.

    The lady drowns and angrily faces God, demanding "Why didn't you save me?"

    God answers, "I sent you a raft, a rowboat and finally a helicopter. To truly be helped you have to accept what comes and take a step of your own."

    So that's you, dear. Life is throwing you help every day and you're missing it. The emotional flood has come and things that will help you through it are all around, but until you start taking steps of your own towards those helps and away from the flood, well... you're just a lady stuck on the roof.

    You're going to do fine! Look around and enjoy the things that come your way. They may not be what you had in mind, but they may be exactly what you need. Give life a chance to move you along.

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