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Old Today, 04:12 PM
QuestionsSC
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Question I told, did I do the right thing?
I started conversing with a man at work about 11 months ago. It all started with harmless emails. We work for the same company but at different locations. We are 900 miles apart. He is married and has a young child. The emails became more personal and then we started chatting on the phone. A few months down the line his wife went through his phone records and saw where he had been calling me.. they got into it and it was bad for a while but things died down. He stayed in contact with me. He later went out and bought a prepaid phone to use to talk to me. We talked every day and night. It was getting to the point where we were talking about seeing each other. I tried walking away so many times but for some reason he had this hold on me. He was telling me he loved me and that he was in love with me. I know now that it was all lies. He sent me money for a plane ticket and just when I bought it he switched on me. Everyone was telling me that I needed to come clean to her and I battled between the idea of telling and not. I finally sent her an email about the "emotional affair" and right afterwards I started feeling bad so I told him and he deleted it before she read it. He is saying now that he has told her and I am not so sure if I believe him but my question is this?? Did I do the right thing by telling her. I did send it again but whether she knows or not I have no clue? How can I pick up and move on from this. I am not by any means proud of what I have done and I feel horrible. Please help... Please don't be too harsh I feel bad enough as it is...

Dear lady,

If this electronic lover is married, yes. Then put it to him another way. Tell him this implied affair with you is over and he should only contact you regarding business matters. If any more flirtatious emails or calls or snail mails get to you from him, you will go and report the sexual harassment to Personnel.

If you continue to participate, you do that knowing that you are choosing to participate in the destruction of another's marriage, because he says he loves you. Think about this, the fellow is courting you at the same time he is marred. Doesn't the word "Trustworthy" scream at you about his character?

Use your brain, why would you want someone who cares so little for his wife that he is openly chatting you up. His judgement and character would be high on the things to be suspious of, let alone implict in his behavior towards you, shows that he would easily consider doing the same to you if you went on and married this guy.

If you feel you need to tell someone, go tell a priest, pastor, or rabbi. Or another counselor. Do you want him to tell your boy firend, mother or daddy what you've been up to?