My ex (who is younger) and I started dating about a month and a half ago. She is conservative and I was only her first or second serious boyfriend we dated and she was really into me A lot. I could always tell that she was really shy and a little insecure especially around me she was worried what I thought and what other people thought ( I'm the opposite I'm really don't care what people think and I laugh things off) things started getting awkward so I talked to her for a while and found out she was feeling sexually pressured and felt like she wanted a lot of time with her friends without having to worry about her boyfriend. I talked to her for the whole night and something really clicked and we instantaneously had a great connection again ( I guess I solved her problems) I just assured her that I was willing to wait and that she could have time with her friends I didn't care as I would do the same and that maybe us and our friends could hang out together... immediatlly after she was really into me A lot again writing the same sweet messages texting me all the time and just thinking about me a lot. I had a ty week we hung out a little and text each other but I didn't call her for that whole weekend. I guess she assumed there was a problem again so she called me we talked and she said she didn't want a boyfriend that she wasn't happy and didn't want all the drama and problems and didn't want to always have to worry about it she cried the whole time she was saying this... personally I think she just is young and isn't ready and is scared... anywho I could tell she had problems talking to me and seeing me in the hallway but I was still nice and smiled and waved... I immediatlly cut her out of my life and started talking to other girls , its not that I didn't like her I just don't get stuck on girl easily as I just really want a girl who likes me for me and I can have a good relationship with. Its had been four days since we broke up and I know she was thinking about me a lot and she texted me on Friday ( we broke up monday) she was asking what I was doing and what time I was going to be done, eventually it lead to her telling me she had wanted to see me that night.I told her it wasn't a good night as I was busy. She text me again the next day I was in the city and we just had a short conversation... I usually am never confused but I am with this situation I mean its been 4 days since SHE broke up with ME I don't know if she realized what's gone or is just trying to be friend or is wanting to get back or just wants my attention again... idk whether to be nice or if I want to talk to her or what this whole thing is all really weird any thoughts would really help

First of all, she probably broke up with you because that is what she thought you wanted. If you are dating, hang out on the weekends! Since you aren't dating anymore, its awesome that she wants to hangout again so soon. Talk to her, hangout. She really could just want to be good friends with you. If you aren't so sure, talk to her about the isssue. It would probably make her day if YOU told HER everything you just typed and you wouldn't be confused anymore if you just sit down and work it out.

Good luck!

I understand exactly what your saying marissaann usually when we talk we have an amazing connection... I really think she just likes to hear me talk lol I'm really good at it but I just don't want to give in to her like that and have her think she can just do this whenever she wants because next time it really is over and I won't give her a chance... I hardly ever even give girls a second chance right now I feel like the balls in my court I just don't want to do the wrong thing with it I don't want her to think like I have him again already wheres the challenge lol... you get it?

You were right earlier, she's scared because she doesn't know what you are thinking. She can't read your mind, let her in a little. You aren't giving in at all. Tell her you really don't like the fact she broke it off, really ask her why she did it and really listen to her when she answers you. Let her know you are giving her another chance and you don't usually give second chances and the ball will still be in your court. That way she'll be grateful for another chance and she has to make it up to you. It sounds like you genuinely like her so go for it. If it doesn't work out, whatever, move on, but if it does chances are you will get to know each other really well.

Lol your right I am really stubborn and I try not to let people in... it probably does scare her because she seemed so much more open when I did let her in a little... I do like her I really am an honestly nice guy I'm not afraid to admit but I also don't let people walk on me so I know what your saying I will hang out with her if she asks me again and if it comes up I will talk to her about it
Thanks a lot for all your advice
If anybody else has anythoughs id still like to here second or even third opinions thanks

My ex (who is younger) and I started dating about a month and a half ago. She is conservative and I was only her first or second serious boyfriend we dated and she was really into me A lot. I could always tell that she was really shy and a little insecure especially around me she was worried what I thought and what other people thought ( I'm the opposite I'm really don't care what people think and I laugh things off) things started getting awkward so I talked to her for a while and found out she was feeling sexually pressured and felt like she wanted a lot of time with her friends without having to worry about her boyfriend. I talked to her for the whole night and something really clicked and we instantaneously had a great connection again ( I guess I solved her problems) I just assured her that I was willing to wait and that she could have time with her friends I didn't care as I would do the same and that maybe us and our friends could hang out together... immediatlly after she was really into me A lot again writing the same sweet messages texting me all the time and just thinking about me a lot. I had a ty week we hung out a little and text each other but I didn't call her for that whole weekend. I guess she assumed there was a problem again so she called me we talked and she said she didn't want a boyfriend that she wasn't happy and didn't want all the drama and problems and didn't want to always have to worry about it she cried the whole time she was saying this... personally I think she just is young and isn't ready and is scared... anywho I could tell she had problems talking to me and seeing me in the hallway but I was still nice and smiled and waved... I immediatlly cut her out of my life and started talking to other girls , its not that I didn't like her I just don't get stuck on girl easily as I just really want a girl who likes me for me and I can have a good relationship with. Its had been four days since we broke up and I know she was thinking about me a lot and she texted me on Friday ( we broke up monday) she was asking what I was doing and what time I was going to be done, eventually it lead to her telling me she had wanted to see me that night.I told her it wasn't a good night as I was busy. She text me again the next day I was in the city and we just had a short conversation... I usually am never confused but I am with this situation I mean its been 4 days since SHE broke up with ME I don't know if she realized what's gone or is just trying to be friend or is wanting to get back or just wants my attention again... idk whether to be nice or if I want to talk to her or what this whole thing is all really weird any thoughts would really help

I think you had it right with... personally I think she just is young and isn't ready and is scared... If you think you are interested in her maybe get together and ask her what's up with the mixed feelings she seems to be having and what does she really want.

Yea I feel you and when I do talk to her she understands and feels better and safe but its hard to keep that feeling of security with her you know I feel almost like she doesn't know what she really wants so it depends on me telling her what she wants and convincing her almost you know? It obvious that she has really strong feelings for me... I mean she couldn't go 5 days without me lol you know I'm a little confused on howt o act at this moment when she texts me I guess I will accept them try to be nice and when she asks to hang out again talk to her about the mixed feelings I've gotten that response from a few people because she is young
Thank you a lot

I think you have to expect her to be confusing as she is young and inexperienced. Just be the good guy you are and make things as pleasant as possible. She may just need reassurance and a little cring, rather than be a g/f. Talk to her and be nice, but don't go overboard if your not feeling it, and be honest about how you feel.

I don't really know what cringe means? At least not in that text
But I understand I've been responding to her text nicely but ifi get the question to hang out again I don't know whether to or not I don't want to just give into her and have her think she can just do whatever and if I do hang out withher I don't know whether to talk to her about it or just act like nothing happened

You can just hang out with her but if she is like one minute seeming like she wants friend only then another acting like she wants to be your girlfriend you are going to have to talk to her to make limits/boundries/and expectations clear. She is confused right now and needs time to adjust to figuring out what she wants. She probably does want to be more than friends but scared and confused. She needs you to be strong and reassuring but you need to take it day by day and discuss things if they do get confusing.

She barely knows how to act around guys, let alone what a g/f is. Just try to show her the fun side. That's maybe all she can deal with right now.

well what I want to said.. everyone pretty much said already...

so just go hang with her and she how she acts.. talks... and look at you ^^..

if you feel comfertable ask her why she broke up wit you...

there nothing wrong with asking ^^

>Two Threads Merged<

Honestly, I wouldn't stress about it too much... it sounds like you were pretty much right when it comes to her being scared and young. I would say her reaction can be attributed to those facts which you have already stated. Assume its immaturity, and if so, maybe she really isn't ready to be in a relationship, at least not at the level at which you would need to ask our advice to work it out. If not, she may be playing with you to get attention... she may even be serious about not needing that in her life right now, who knows. Whatever it is, be willing to give her space and time. This sudden interest in seeing you however, makes me lean towards the immature side. Sounds like a waste of time to be honest, but be open to her, and be honest with her... more importantly, be honest with yourself. A lot of hurtful memories and wasted time can be gained from not being willing to admit something to yourself that you know deep down, I've been there and its not worth it.

Well my opinion isn't any different than it was in your first question posted...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-117880.html

There is nothing new here... there are weird moments in a breakup. At this point she's acting like the "classical" ex who doesn't want to be with you but doesn't want to be alone.

No new news.

Be polite. But don't read anything into her actions. She probably misses the comfort of a relationship, and she probably wants your attention. That doesn't mean she wants you.

At this point, don't put any more work into it... until she comes to you and tells you she needs to be with you, without your trying to set it up or work back to that place... she is just going through all the noise of what it means to be in the middle of a breakup.

At this point, she's isn't with you. Don't act like she is. Don't make it more complicated. Don't spend a lot of more time on this relationship. She has a lot of work to do and she has to be willing to chase you down. Anything less is just her getting her "comfort" fix. If you are willing to settle for that, its your call.