Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend wants time apart.

Ok, this will be a little long but bear with me on this. I really need some advice. I met my girlfriend back in July 2007. We started dating in September. She has two little girls from her previous marriage. Everything was going great. I was living with her but I wasn't suppose to because the landlord wouldn't put me on her lease. I have had many chances to the job references so that I could be put on the lease and I do admit that I was a little slow on getting them. I still don't have all the references I need. Anyway, I have been suffering from depression for awhile and she has tried to help me by contacting doctors for me. But I did not want to go to a doctor. I did not want to take medication. This went on for three months. The other night, my girlfriend said that I needed to go someplace else to live because she didn't want to get evicted for letting me stay there. Around that same time, my depression got so bad that she had to take me to the hospital. We had been having problems over the last few weeks about me not being able to get a job and I was afraid that if I left her to go live at my friend's house, that she would not want me back. I was in the hospital for 3 nights and then my mom came and got me. During my time at the hospital, I was able to fully understand what depression really was and that I really did need help and medication. I told my girlfriend that I would get help and that I would see a doctor but she doesn't believe me. She says that she has tried to help me for three months and that I would not get help so she thinks that I'm just saying these things to get back with her. She want's a break until I can prove that I am getting help but I'm afraid that she won't take me back after I do get help. I don't know what to do. She says that I need to be able to take care of myself and make myself happy first. The problem is, I'll never be happy unless she's in my life. There is a lot of information I left out but I hope this is enough to get some good advice. Keep in mind that I'm not allowed to visit her or talk to her at this time. I've been emailing her so that is pretty much the only contact I have with her right now. Please help me. I don't want this break to turn into a break-up. I love her too much.

I strongely suggest you get help from a professional, take your meds as told, and work toward getting a job, and making a life that your happy with, whether she takes you back, or not. That's the responsible mature thing to do. That's what she wants also, a healthy, caring, responsible mature adult to be with. Can't you see that she cannot help you, and wants nothing to do with you, unless you get your act together?? Rightfully so. You are responsible for your own happiness, not her and anything less, is unhealthy, so get busy working on yourself, and be better. Good luck.

I am sorry you are going through such a tough time. I can relate to a lot of your feelings. I think with where your relationship is at right now, really in it's infancy you should heed your girlfriend's advice. You have to understand that she wants what is best for you, because ultimately that is what is best for you as a couple. Think about this... would you want to love someone who didn't love themselves? You are asking her to take back someone you don't even like... yourself. I think you should be grateful she is giving you an opportunity to help yourself and the support she can give during that process. You need to know that she is also a parent, and as a parent myself, I know that I am very selective of the people that my kids spend time around. Kids are smart and very impressionable. I think she just wants you happy and in control of your life so that having you around is a positive in everyone's life. I would cherish the fact that she is emailing you. A lot of woman would have cut off all contact and said the hell with you. The fact that she is still there for support when she has no obligation speaks to the way she feels about you. Just think of how great of a relationship you can have if you are the man she wants you to be! You have hit bottom my friend... time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and take control of yourself. I wish you the best of luck.

Remember... cherish her for the support she is offering, don't push or you might lose the little you have.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dudeman_4_life

Ok, this will be a little long but bear with me on this. I really need some advice. I met my girlfriend back in July 2007. We started dating in September. She has two little girls from her previous marraige. Everything was going great. I was living with her but I wasn't suppose to because the landlord wouldn't put me on her lease. I have had many chances to the job references so that I could be put on the lease and I do admit that I was a little slow on getting them. I still don't have all the references I need. Anyway, I have been suffering from depression for awhile and she has tried to help me by contacting doctors for me. But I did not want to go to a doctor. I did not want to take medication. This went on for three months. The other night, my girlfriend said that I needed to go someplace else to live because she didn't want to get evicted for letting me stay there. Around that same time, my depression got so bad that she had to take me to the hospital. We had been having problems over the last few weeks about me not being able to get a job and I was afraid that if I left her to go live at my friend's house, that she would not want me back. I was in the hospital for 3 nights and then my mom came and got me. During my time at the hospital, I was able to fully understand what depression really was and that I really did need help and medication. I told my girlfriend that I would get help and that I would see a doctor but she doesn't believe me. She says that she has tried to help me for three months and that I would not get help so she thinks that I'm just saying these things to get back with her. She want's a break until I can prove that I am getting help but I'm afraid that she won't take me back after I do get help. I don't know what to do. She says that I need to be able to take care of myself and make myself happy first. The problem is, I'll never be happy unless she's in my life. There is alot of information I left out but I hope this is enough to get some good advice. Keep in mind that I'm not allowed to visit her or talk to her at this time. I've been emailing her so that is pretty much the only contact I have with her right now. Please help me. I don't want this break to turn into a break-up. I love her too much.

You only know this girl for 7 months . Get your selve sorted first an