OK I have been reading others questions referring to relatioships... I just want to know what is NC, is this something I should be trying to help my love life... and alexpella I am confused

NC is no contact. It's all about refraining from contacting your ex, as this will enable you to move on and heal faster.

And sometimes it can also work to get them back. Only if you leave them alone and walk away. They may end up missing you someday and if the breakup was not terrible and you treated them good there is a chance they may look you up.

No Contact is more than just not contacting your ex.

Its separating yourself from them emotionally, physically, and mentally. It's a way that many of us have been able to move on from a past relationship.

NC also involves not calling, texting, emailing, checking myspace/facebook/blogs, casually "meeting," and any other forms of communication - visual, spoken, or written.

NC is not for every break up, but in some cases it is the only thing that will work. Its closure. It's a victory.

It hurts like Hades. It is SO hard. It makes you second-guess yourself and doubt your own opinions and decisions. It takes courage and unbelievable strength.

But, its do-able. You can find threads on this forum of successful NC... people that have become better because of NC, people that have survived, and people that have done it right.

So, there's a dreadfully long definition of NC.

No Contact is a healing process, that you use after a break-up of a relationship, that allows your emotions to cool, and lets you get over the shock, and loss of your partner. It allows you to get away from the drama and confusion, of being dumped, to put your feet back on the ground, and reflect on you and the things you need to do to be happy with yourself, and move on with your life. It helps you clear your head to make better decisions, based on facts, and not emotions. It removes you from the confusion of getting mixed signals, and false hope, from your ex. Many mistakenly think that they can get there ex back through this tool, but it has never happened, as upon a closer look the ones who get the ex back, either have healed, and want to move forward, not back, or have thought they healed, and went back with an ex, only to crash and burn again, because they didn't heal enough to make the good decisions, that allow them to see their mistakes, so they repeat them. Hope this helps.

well I am in a situation, where I don't know where I stand in the realationship.. he can't give me a straight answer.. I want us to work and I want to show that am capable of standing on my 2 feet.. so apparently I have been doing NC OK well thany yi=ou

Yeah it's a really hard thing to do, I've reached 60 days of no contact and I think I've learned more about myself and my relationships in that 60 days than I have in the last few years. It does hurt, but you will emerge fresh and full of knowledge once you get over it. I am now in a position where I'm not driven by my emotions, and can make a clear headed rational decisions. I don't really care if my ex contacts me or not anymore, so I'm really glad I stuck it out for this long.

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Originally Posted by roogirl

It does hurt, but you will emerge fresh and full of knowledge once you get over it.

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So true. After my last breakup I had to go to the doctor to get some sleeping tablets as I was having a lot of trouble sleeping, and he asked me what have I learnt out of the relationship. I answered that there was nothing I could take out of it (was 4 days after the breakup). A few months of NC later and if he asked the same question I think he would regret asking it, as I would probably talk his ear off for ages :)

I thought at the time that I regretted getting into the relationship where as now I think I would do it all over again even with the knowledge that it would fail, for some of the moments that were just fantastic and I think I could easily avoid some of the pitfalls/mistakes I made last time around. So in that regard it's kind of ironic that even though she broke up with me, I think I have taken more out of the relationship than what she did.

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Originally Posted by luv2teach

ok i have been reading others questions refering to relatioships... I just want to know what is NC, is this something i should be trying to help my love life... and alexpella i am confused

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I am new to dating since my divorce but, in my circle "NC" means no children. Hope that helps.