My daughter(21yrs) is battling severe depression. She was in a lot of trouble last year and she spent about 4 months in a treatment facility for drugs (xanx, oxy and methadone). She was self medicating for the depression which we didn’t know about at the time, we thought it was just addiction. She stayed clean for 5 months then I guess the depression started taking its toll. We have been trying to get her in to see a doctor (counselor recommended) for the depression but it is taking awhile. Supposedly this doctor is very good with a great reputation but getting in to see him is slow. In the mean time she is trying to stay clean but is struggling. Last night was bad! She told me she’s been hocking stuff for money for drugs (oxy, pot, xanx) I know it’s bad because she hocked one of my rings that my husband gave me. This is not like her at all! She truly seems remorseful and asking for help. I'm so worried that she is going to die!

Should I send her to another facility for 30 days just to keep her clean while giving the antidepressants time to work? She said she wants to go…as a matter of fact it was her idea.

Am I doing the right things? Am I missing anything?

I know I can’t fix it. I know it has to be her. She is asking for help! She is trying to stay honest and clean but I can see she is struggling. I am seeing a counselor mainly to help me understand what my daughter is going through and what my next steps should be. She is seeing the same one also.

Not sure what I’m looking for….maybe just to vent. I worry about what to tell my husband who is deployed. He’s been so supportive but I can tell this is wearing on him. He said he would be more upset if I didn’t tell him?? I don’t know what to do about that.

Thanks in advance for any advice.
alv

Hi Alv,

Sorry about your situation, it must be very difficult as a mother to see your daughter suffer like this.

I think everything you are doing is what you should be doing and I commend you for that, it seems as if you will go to any length for your daughter to be better and you sound like a wonderful mom.

Coming off Oxy is a very dangerous thing and the side effects are that of severe depression and withdrawal symptoms. Depending on how long she has been taking them the depression could be very severe. I think getting her into treatment would be wise until she can see this doctor, especially if it is something she would like to do, that may indicate she is ready to face her demons so to speak.

It will not be easy for her nor you, Oxy isa form of heroin and is considered one of the toughest drugs to quit, however, itcan and has been done. Family plays a huge role in recovery and your daughter will need you now more than ever. Hard as it may be, try to keep positive and focus on the good, her willing to take this head on, and you being there for her.

God Bless.

Yes... send her to another facility especially if she has asked to go.. she will feel safe there and will get more help. Asking for help is the first step in recovery. My mother was reason I got clean... only for her sending me to rehab I would not be here today. I asked her to help me and she did. I felt safe in rehab and knew those people could help me and I responded. Your daughter is selling your rings because of her habit... it totally changes character. She is suffereing from a disease which can be helped. You are doing all the right things. Stay honest and share what is going on with your husband. If something did happen and you had not told him it would be worse. AA and NA is also reason I STAYED clean... get her in touch with a local group if she does not go to rehab. All the best.

alv,

You must get yourself to a support group for parents of drug addicts. You have no skills with which to deal with addicts, and you don't want to go under from stress.

Please go. You are suffering so much.

Kindest regards,

If she wants help and is asking you for it I would definitely send her to a facility. I also think you need to get yourself some help too. You aren't going to be able to help her if you aren't in a good place yourself. You need to make sure you have a support system for yourself. Best of luck. You will be in my thoughts.

My son went through a heroin addiction He started methadone
The methadone was harder to kick then the heroin. All I can say is ask a lot of questions of the counselors be an advocate for your daughter. I know it is going to be hard. But be strong for her Try to find a local NA Narcotics Anonomus in your area. So you can get support. Once she gets past her first 30 days You can help her with different Vitamins and Glucosimine. Do your research on line as best you can Good luck
My heart is with you

You are on a rough road right now. I am a nurse at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation residential treatment center. First, you need to get her to a treatment center, your best bet is a medical treatment facility first so they are prepared for her to come off the Xanax that she is abusing (?) also. A lot depends on how much oxy she is taking and for how long she has been taking it etc.. My guess would be that she is abusing her Xanax which is dangerous and is why she will most likely need medical detox first before she gets into a 28 day treatment.

Your daughter is an addict, and if she is asking for help, you need to help her anyway you can to get her there. She cannot stop on her own... do your research on the treatment centers too, many of them have psychologists there that can help with the depression.

You need to get yourself some help too, like the others have stated above, you need to go to a support group to help get yourself some support and some education on how to handle this.

As far as your husband goes, you can't keep this a secret... one thing we teach out patients in rehab is YOU ARE AS SICK AS YOUR SECRETS, and if you think about it, it is true, secrets never lead to anything good.

I know you are confused and scared and angry and all other 10,000 emotions that you are feeling, but hang in there, one day at a time, one step at a time.

SHE CAN DO THIS!! I SEE IT EVERYDAY!! GOOD LUCK!! MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU!!

Thank you for all of the advice. I just wanted to make sure that I am doing all I can do.

My daughter has been with me for 4 straight days. She has not taken an oxy since Wed. and is feeling fine; no withdrawals. I was mistaken about the xanax; she only been taking oxy.

We saw the psychiatrist Friday and he prescribed Prozac 10mg. She was honest with the doctor about what she was taking and how much and the he feels she will be okay living at my parents house for the next two weeks. Just to give the meds a chance to work and to keep her safe from the "bad" friends and temptation. Her counselor doesn't think she needs another in-house treatment at this time. When she returns from my parents she will be attending a 6 month program on how to live sober. The NA and AA just wasn't working for her and this program has been working for a lot of heroin addicts. I pray everyday that this will work.

Again, thanks for the advice.
alv

See if you can get her interested in some sort of hobby. Something that she will get pleasure doing.