Hi Folks,

How does a guy pick up his confidence when he continually hears negative comments about the way he looks. I get so jealous of guys who all the girls look at and compliment. I always get told I'm average or "not their type"... Everytime I go out with friends I feel ugly and just want to go home. I have been teased about the way I look from a young age and since then all the negative comments overload the positive ones.

If none of the negative comments had happened I would be so happy but I feel they have destroyed me and I struggle to enjoy events in my life as I am a "nobody".

I often wish I looked like some other guy who is popular, I hate looking in the mirror and sometimes feel physically sick. I have had plenty of girls say I am not attractive and I now have angry feelings towards them, which I hate but can't control.

I can write a list of about 100 people I know who have put me down and it hurts so much... why is it some guys have all the luck and plain old boring me has to feel like this.

Sorry for wallowing in my own self pity but it just gets too much at times

It happens, people can be so cruel. Some of the best husbands I know are either ugly or downright average looking. Most of us get 'uglier' as we age. How about body building? If nothing else, it would get you out of the house and into a gym environment.

You don't put others down, do you? Kindness (without ego), that's a rare quality to find in a man. It has always attracted me to the guys who are less than physically or financially perfect. Unfortunately, the good looking men are almost all, way too full of themselves.

If iwere you I'd rather be nobody than be somebody... something like that.. I'd rather be on the non popular side. There's one best side of being not popular... it's much easier to find the one who truly loves you. For the popular guys the girls just play around with them but for the guys with no luck.. they'r the lucky one at last!. you get what I mean?.


Love yourself.. and I know that it's hard to ignore those hateard words coming out from their mouth.. but be happy for who you are.. be glad you are you... be happy that you ain't being played like them.

Wish you luck in coming everyday life.
Best wish
Masubhat~*

Popularity doesn't mean happyness get that. They may have the getting the girls luck but not getting their heart.

A person's self-worth and all that jazz should never be based on looks. Because looks fade. True beauty is on the inside. I mean, but we've all known that since Kindergarten. Are you asking them what they think of you? If you are asking them what they think of you, stop. It's like the book: "What You Think of Me is None of My Business." BUT if they are just walking up to you giving you unwanted and negative criticism (Such as 'Hey Joe your shirts ugly') --just tell them that their opinion is worthless to you. You got to not be available to negativity like that. Block them out. It's toxic. Now, if a girl tells you that you aren't her type... seriously... that's rude and you can do better than her anyway.

If I were you, I would boost my self-esteem by doing things that make you happy, make you feel hot, etc. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by simoneaugie

It happens, people can be so cruel. Some of the best husbands I know are either ugly or downright average looking. Most of us get 'uglier' as we age. How about body building? If nothing else, it would get you out of the house and into a gym environment.

You don't put others down, do you? Kindness (without ego), that's a rare quality to find in a man. It has always attracted me to the guys who are less than physically or financially perfect. Unfortunately, the good looking men are almost all, way too full of themselves.

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No I don't put others down, I find myself holding back form slagging anyone as I feel it is wrong and it will come back and bite me. I don't want to be big headed I just want to feel physically attractive and for the opposite sex to feel the same. Yes I want to win their heart as this is the most important but I want to have that physical spark as well, but looking at me I can't provide that and it hurts me...

Obviously when with a girl she will notice other good looking guys but it makes me feel that if she is noticing them its cause they look better than what they have and that is me... I don't know if I'm confusing people when I say this

Yes you are right they notice them because of their look.. but did you know that ugly can also be attractive? You just need the right look at the right time. How do you dress up aniway?

Still.. popularity is not all..

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Originally Posted by mafiaangel180

A person's self-worth and all that jazz should never be based on looks. Because looks fade. True beauty is on the inside. I mean, but we've all known that since Kindergarden. Are you asking them what they think of you? If you are asking them what they think of you, stop. It's like the book: "What You Think of Me is None of My Business." BUT if they are just walking up to you giving you unwanted and negative criticism (Such as 'Hey Joe your shirts ugly') --just tell them that their opinion is worthless to you. You gotta not be available to negativity like that. Block them out. It's toxic. Now, if a girl tells you that you aren't her type....seriously....that's rude and you can do better than her anyway.

If I were you, I would boost my self-esteem by doing things that make you happy, make you feel hot, etc. Good luck.

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I have been with girls in the past who have said they thought I was really nice but couldn't understand why some of their friends could not see what they see... I actually over heard a girl saying to my friend I was not her type when he was trying to hook us up and it hurt... even thought I didn't want my mate to do it.


Another so called friend asked a girl who was better looking out of me and another firend. I knew she would chose him and she did as he gets all the attention form the girls. 15 minutes later another girl tells me he is "more sexy" than me... its impossible to feel attractive when this is constantly in my face... im extremley frightened of rejection or any comment negative, I destroys my confidence and I can't hold onto a relationship as I get jealous and insecure... I hate my life

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Originally Posted by MasuBhat

yes you are right they notice them because of their look..but did you know dat ugly can also be attractive?? you jsut need the right look at the right time. how do you dress up aniway?

still..popularity is not all..

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I dress up like any in date fashion, my clothes are as good as anyone, its just the face that lets me down... I don't like females very much. Its horrible to say but they have influenced me to feel this way. I mean its hard to stand in a pub or club and girls constantly come up to your mate and say "ur hot" or keep looking over and smiling at him and chatting him up... I might as well hold his drinks for him all night

.. hm.. can't u just ignore them? /.well if you feel so left out then check out if any girls in there are also?. and if there are you can have your chance ask them to dance with you or etc.. and if they also do reject you than you still can enjoy yourself alone. Dance with yourself... feel happy for your friends.. and smile for whoever girls comes up to your frens.. jsut smile like you don't giv a about them not coming to you..

Hope it helped?

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Originally Posted by Tyne26

I have been with girls in the past who have said they thought i was really nice but couldnt understand why some of their friends could not see what they see.......I actually over heard a girl saying to my friend i was not her type when he was trying to hook us up and it hurt...even thought i didnt want my mate to do it.


Another so called friend asked a girl who was better looking out of me and another firend. I knew she would chose him and she did as he gets all the attention form the girls. 15 mins later another girl tells me he is "more sexy" than me....its impossible to feel attractive when this is constantly in my face...........im extremley frightened of rejection or any comment negative, i destroys my confidence and i can't hold onto a relationship as i get jealous and insecure..........I hate my life

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First of all... get some new friends. Friends that don't need to fish for compliments from girls by having them compare the two of you. A real friend wouldn't do that crap. Get rid of the toxic people in your life. You need a better support group. You must have one friend that doesn't do that to you. How about your family? Having no friends is better than having bad ones.

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Originally Posted by mafiaangel180

First of all....get some new friends. Friends that don't need to fish for compliments from girls by having them compare the two of you. A real friend wouldn't do that crap. Get rid of the toxic people in your life. You need a better support group. You must have one friend that doesn't do that to you. How about your family? Having no friends is better than having bad ones.

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To be honest they all do it and its probably because they are insecure themselves... I don't have any other friends that live close by, I can't affored to travel 20 miles to see other friends... dont get me wrong they aren't bad people... but what about the females who take the bait what does it say about them... I need constant reassurance when I'm out to numb the feeling of negative remarks... I have seen girls point over and one who may like me and they ask their friend but the friend turns round and shakes her head as if "no"... it happens all the time, girls don't find me attractive and if they do I have to blast a sunbed to look semi decent and style my hair... if they see me not looking the best I can do I don't even get as much as a glance

Do you even need the girls attention? //is it a must to be part of their world?. and don't feel left out co'z you isn't attractive like your frens!. ask your frens they still do hang out with you and I'm sure care for you.. cant' u just be happy with your frens and without girls?. tho I understand this girls problems but still..?

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Originally Posted by MasuBhat

do you even need the girls attention?.//is it a must to be part of their world?..and don't feel left out co'z you aint attractive like ur frens!..ask your frens they still do hang out wid you and i'm sure care for you..cant' u jsut be happy with ur frens and widout girls??..tho i understand this girls problems but still...??

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Yeah I can and I do have a laugh with friends and a selected few who care for me and I would be able to talk to, I am grateful for that honestly I am... if someone doesn't think much of the way I look or I'm not that appealing I would rather not hear it but it seems to be girls say what they feel... my problem as well is I focus on everything negative it's as if I'm used to it and its what I believe... tooo many times have I liked a girl only to realise she likes my friend of course more physically attractive, so I can't win.

My problem as well is I focus on everything negative .

That's because you don't love yourself.100%ly... try loving yourself.. and think those girls are nothing but just usless fake flowers///... try loving yourself.. that will make your focus turn around.

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Originally Posted by MasuBhat

my problem as well is i focus on everything negative .

that's because you don't love your self.100%ly...try loving your self..and think those girls are nothing but jsut usless fake flowers///...try loving your self..that will make ur focus turn around.

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I totally understand what you are saying and agree with you but the hard thing is to love yourself when you are constantly reminded every time you go out that people see what you see when you look in the mirror and that is someone who isn't that attractive...

I guess I am better off on my own

Hhmm.. that's happens to me also///i'm not that attractive also.. but still I love myself... and I do care what other ppls thinks about me.. but I try not to show them.. this makes me feel strong inside.. and look strong outside.. that's how I deal with it.. I keep it inside..

I don't let those word defet me...

Hope you stay strong!.
Bestwishes,

You can't be looking outward for your happiness, self esteem, self worth, etc. That has to come from you, not from some skank at the end of the bar, not from your self-absorbed friends who are too busy pumping up themselves to even think about pumping anyone else up. You say the problem is you don't know how to love yourself when you constantly get put down... well don't stand for them doing that to you. Go out and live and ignore that crap, what other people think isn't our concern. Getting some self-respect and not tolerating their crap will boost your esteem. Because it comes from within, and how you live and whatnot.

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Originally Posted by mafiaangel180

You can't be looking outward for your happiness, self esteem, self worth, etc. That has to come from you, not from some skank at the end of the bar, not from your self-absorbed friends who are too busy pumping up themselves to even think about pumping anyone else up. You say the problem is you don't know how to love yourself when you constantly get put down....well don't stand for them doing that to you. Go out and live and ignore that crap, what other people think isn't our concern. Getting some self-respect and not tolerating their crap will boost your esteem. Because it comes from within, and how you live and whatnot.

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Thanks for that strong advice I really appreciate it, I just want to stay strong... sometimes I get into self pitying feelings that last for weeks and it's a horrible world all of a sudden

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Originally Posted by Tyne26

Thanks for that strong advice I really appreciate it, i just want to stay strong.... sometimes i get into self pitying feelings that last for weeks and its a horrible world all of a sudden

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You're welcome. Yeah, it's easy to fall victim to that whole self-pitying thing. Whenever you get down, just pump yourself up. Keep repeating positive stuff to yourself. I think that works.

Tyne, You have to get out of bars, pubs, clubs and the like! That is the worst place for you to go.

Ask some older women you know casually, or whatever, if they know any girls who would like to go out to dinner with you. Tell them you are looking for a girlfriend.

In the meantime, develop a hobby that a girl would like to do with you for fun...

That's a start. :)