Ask Me Help Desk - Met girlfriend online

I met this girl online on one of those gay online sites. I thought she was great we connected right away. I know and feel I am in love with her, she was actually the first one to say it to me. However, I cheated on her? Things have not been the same since, before we even made it official she was saying she wanted to come see me to visit. Then I cheated, things changed I don't recall her saying how much she wanted to see me. And one time she got into this accident so she says but didn't bother calling me two days after? Basically for 2 days before the call I had no idea what happened to her. So now, we decided to not be together, I've never met her and we fought so many times because she won't give me an exact answer as to why she can't come see me now? Why is that I'm so lost. The love is there and the feelings are genuine? I mean before me she also had an ex girlfriend whom she was so in love with even moved to be with her but was lied to and cheated on numerous times. What could be wrong with her? What could be wrong in our relationship?

Obviously you cheating.

Sounds like a lack of morals if you ask me.

Okay sweetie, How can you be in a relationship with someone you never saw, kind of weird. I guess she sent you a pic right? Your not in love with her, your in love with the conversations. I had a friend (gay also) that went through the same thing. The girl actually sent her a pic of someone else, but made up something every time it was time for them to see each other, you know why... she was actually, lets say was not my friends type. Maybe she thinks if you really see how she looks you won't want to be with her.
Well fill me in and let me know what happens. Good luck
So do you understand, find yourself someone real.

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I mean before me she also had an ex girlfriend whom she was so in love with even moved to be with her but was lied to and cheated on numerous times. What could be wrong with her? What could be wrong in our relationship?

Sounds like she had enough of liars, and cheaters, to me. Its amazing you can't see that.

As for cheating being a bad thing, I don't see you believing that yourself. It appears to be acceptable behavior to you and so it is completely understandable that you find yourself attracted to someone with the same beliefs.

If cheating isn't OK, you have to:
A) Stop cheating
B) Make All New Girlfriends who get to know you as a non-cheater

At the moment, I'd say there's nothing wrong with her that isn't wrong with you, too. Stop worrying about her faults when they just mirror your own. Enjoy the "commonality" or decide it's wrong and start fixing your own moral compass.

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Originally Posted by thegirlz

i met this girl online on one of those gay online sites. i thought she was great we connected right away. i know and feel i am in love with her, she was actually the first one to say it to me. however, i cheated on her? things have not been the same since, before we even made it official she was saying she wanted to come see me to visit. then i cheated, things changed i dont recall her saying how much she wanted to see me. and one time she got into this accident so she says but didnt bother calling me two days after? basically for 2 days before the call i had no idea what happened to her. so now, we decided to not be together, I've never met her and we fought so many times because she wont give me an exact answer as to why she can't come see me now? why is that im so lost. the love is there and the feelings are genuine? i mean before me she also had an ex gf whom she was so in love with even moved to be with her but was lied to and cheated on numerous times. ? what could be wrong with her? what could be wrong in our relationship?

Well for one thing you don't have a relationship. You've never met her. But if she has been lied to and cheated on before, I doubt she is going to take a chance with someone she has not even met yet.
I'm not understanding why you call it cheating if you two are not even together, which is probably why you could do it so easily, you have no ties to this person "you have never met and are not dating" And how do you even figure you love her? What is it based on? You two don't know each other.