My b/f and I have been together over 8 years, own our own home, have a beautiful 3 year old daughter and have found out another is on the way. We've decided to make everything official and get married. We plan on having a small courthouse union and then send out announcements of our marriage.

Will people feel obligated to send gifts after receiving the announcement? We don't need anything and really want to avoid this whole situation. Mentioning anything on the marriage announcements seems kind of tacky but I don't know what to do.

Thanks!

It's not taky to do this. If you feel so inclined that a lot of people will send you presents that you don't want, then do this. In a lot of instances loving family and friends will want to send you a present as they are thrilled that you tied the knot. I say don't say anything as you probably have a lot of loving friends and family out there and telling them not to give you a gift is a rebuff to them and their generosity.

Congratulations, first of all. I wish you and your children and fiancé the best. It would be entirely appropriate to send an announcement out with perhaps a photo from the wedding day... no need for fancy wedding clothes or anything, just a family picture.

As for the gift issue, I think it's become so popular for people to say what they want for gifts, now people who don't want gifts or are afraid of coming off as greedy feel they have to do the opposite and say what they do not want!

In my opinion, the classiest thing is to share your news and leave it at that. Don't mention gifts at all. If you receive one, send a thank you note immediately and make it sincere. If you hate it or it's something you don't want or need, that's one of the things you keep within the marriage!

Certainly we haven't reached a point where we have to hide our good news so we won't be viewed as soliciting gifts and cash, have we? And it sounds like you've waited a long time, are not trying to be a bridezilla princess... I'm guessing people may feel you are deserving of a little attention. Enjoy it.

I have seen one case where two older professionals were getting married and already had two households to combine... Their announcement stated something along the lines of "In lieu of gifts, your warmest wishes for our happiness are preferred"