My parents have been separated and divorced for 5 years. The whole separation and divorce was nasty,because my father just up and left my mom. Due to the situation, my siblings and I have been with my mom and left my dad high and dry. I know that I resent my dad for splitting up my family and causing a strain on our relationships with his side of the family. I just found out that my grandpa died that is on my dad side. I really want to go to the visitation and funeral, but I do not want dad to think that it is for him. What should I do?

You should go if you knew and loved your Grandfather. This way if your dad is there you can speak to him if you wish to and forget and forgive the past. Time has a way of healing old wounds. Your dad is still your dad regardless of the past and what he did.

Same thing happened with my parents. My mother aged and got overweight (thyroid problem she gains weight fast and its hard for her to lose it) and so my father went for someone younger and thin. My father even chooses his mail order young, thin wife over his own children. Even though all that happened, I am still close with his side of the family. They know his side of the story and our side. They know everything that happened, but when we have family gatherings we do not bring up my father or what he did, we just hang out like family. When you go to the funeral and your dad tries to bring up the situation or he starts upsetting you just firmly say "I am here for my grandfather, not for you" and I am sure he will get the picture. I'm sorry for your loss.