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-   -   Attracting women (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=180543)

  • Feb 5, 2008, 07:06 AM
    falloutguy
    Attracting women
    Is there a way where I can show emotional / connection interest in a woman and not be rejected?

    Or is there a way where I can get women to show emotional / connection interest in me?
  • Feb 5, 2008, 07:53 AM
    EuRa
    Women know when a man likes them. Few men know when it's the other way around.

    I was impervious to women. They laughed at the littlest things I said, made eye contact, smiled a lot, touched my shoulder or leg whenever they had the chance to do so, and fidgeted with their hair or neckless while talking to me, all smiles. Leans into me when she talks. All tell-tale signs that I never realised before.

    If you like her, just don't go overboard with it. Smile when you talk to her, show interest in what she has to say, and you'll know within time.
  • Feb 5, 2008, 08:00 AM
    Romefalls19
    With going on about what Eura said... Never text her first, let her text you first. For some reason girls love it when you ignore them or don't cater to them.. If a female could explain that, please do
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:04 AM
    HistorianChick
    Ok, you two...

    Not all girls like to be ignored! Some like to be chased... but not too much...

    Personally, when a guy ignores me it doesn't make me "need" him, it simply lets me know that he's not interested!

    But, on the other hand, I just had a first date with a guy that did the opposite... wouldn't stop texting, calling, messaging, etc. That didn't make me want him, rather, freaked me out a little and has made me check that my door is always locked! LOL! (needless to say, there will be no second date!)

    I think that it all depends on the girl. A guy shouldn't show too much interest... but not enough is just as bad. Don't smother her with concern, but show her that you care and let her decide if she wants to let you in.

    (Rome and EuRa? You guys are just too sweet.)
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:08 AM
    Romefalls19
    Me and a bunch of work buddies were drunk last week and somehow the topic of super powers got brought up... Everyone was saying what one they would like.. Of course you had the obvious ones, the super strength or being invisible... me.. I picked the ability to read minds, of course its able to be controlled, so that I could possibly understand what is going on inside a girls head ha ha...

    Historian, thanks for the compliment.. I know not all girls are like that, but there is a VERY fine line between too needy and not interested enough... Trouble is we have to find that balance.
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:17 AM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    Okay falloutguy

    There isn't any 'way' to show an emotional connection between you and a woman. You have to actually feel it! Once you feel it, then you act out on it and once that happens a woman will know.

    Likewise with girls. You can't make them have an emotional connection with you. If she feels it then she feels it. The right one will come to you. Just wait. But don't 'make' anyone feel a certain way. Be yourself and let the magic do the rest!
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:17 AM
    HistorianChick
    You're right about that - all girls are different... and for that, to all you good-intentioned guys out there, I offer apologies on behalf of the female race. We don't mean to be un-readable, we just are.

    Actually, now that I think about it, some girls revel in the fact that they are un-readable... hmm... So, I guess the trick is to find the girls that really don't mean to be mysterious, but are actually just being themselves! Knowing what they want - to be treated like the lady they are!

    What super power would I choose? Hmm... Flying? No. Reading minds? Maybe... Being invisible? Naaa. Leaping over tall buildings? Riiiiight. Understanding? Yes. I'd choose the ability to understand everything. Wisdom, if you will. Knowing the real intentions, real motives, real questions, real answers. Now that would be cool.

    But I think we should all have our own themesong... that just goes without saying! ;)
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:18 AM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    Don't be fake either!
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:21 AM
    Romefalls19
    Ha ha yea... Hmm.. what would my theme song be... That is going to take time to think about... Nice proposition
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:41 AM
    falloutguy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    Okay falloutguy

    There isn't any 'way' to show an emotional connection between you and a woman. You have to actually feel it! Once you feel it, then you act out on it and once that happens a woman will know.

    Likewise with girls. You can't make them have an emotional connection with you. If she feels it then she feels it. The right one will come to you. Just wait. But don't 'make' anyone feel a certain way. Be yourself and let the magic do the rest!


    Aaargh! FEEL IT ! That's the problem, its so easy if you don't feel it, you can take the mick, flirt be suggestive, etc then women are all over you and if they are not it does not bother you because you have no emotions invested. But generally when you don't have feelings they are totally interested in you.

    But if you feel something for them then you can't be the same, because you treat them more special and they are not interested, you are then gutted because of the emotions you have for them...

    You women have such an easy life. Stand their and look pretty... lol
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:45 AM
    HistorianChick
    RAH... "stand there and look pretty"?? Falloutguy... you realize how close you've come to a verbal e-thrashing from me? LOL!!

    Sorry, my inner HistorianChick came out and reared the ugly head of educated women across the globe.

    I'm quite happy standing there and looking pretty... if what's inside my head is just as gorgeous! ;)
  • Feb 5, 2008, 10:02 AM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by falloutguy
    Aaargh! FEEL IT ! Thats the problem, its so easy if you dont feel it, you can take the mick, flirt be suggestive, etc then women are all over you and if they are not it does not bother you because you have no emotions invested. But generally when you dont have feelings they are totally interested in you.

    But if you feel something for them then you can't be the same, because you treat them more special and they are not interested, you are then gutted because of the emotions you have for them....

    You women have such an easy life. Stand their and look pretty.... lol

    Falloutboy,

    Looks like you have some inner insercurities you need to deal with then. Are all the women you go out with totally falling for your' 'no-feelings' scam? I know I DEFINITELY would NEVER date a guy who had a blank slate. Tell me one woman who actually likes a guy with no feelings and then I would close this case.

    You quote 'You women have such an easy life. Stand there and look pretty'. I have to totally disagree with you there and assume that you are sexist in some way. We women have made great strides in making what this world is today. Look who we have running as a canadit for president? A woman!
  • Feb 5, 2008, 10:07 AM
    Romefalls19
    And with all due respect, she will not even come close to winning because she doesn't know where her moral compass is. But women don't have it easy at all, I agree there. But would it really kill you girls to tell us what ladder we get put on when you meet us? The friend ladder or possible boyfriend ladder... That would be nice ha ha
  • Feb 5, 2008, 10:09 AM
    HistorianChick
    Awww Rome... I'd tell you what ladder you made it on and what rung you stood on! :)
  • Feb 5, 2008, 10:13 AM
    Romefalls19
    Awl thanks sweetie... It's funny because all the crap my ex is putting me through(well did until I didn't show anything to respond to her actions) and puts me through internally is being used as motivation for my time at the gym. While me and her dated I would go for about an hour 2-3 days a week... Since the break up.. I got 6 days a week at 2 to 2 1/2 hours, and in April I start training for UFC fighting ha ha. So I need to be in the best shape possible for that
  • Feb 5, 2008, 10:16 AM
    HistorianChick
    UFC, huh? Very cool.

    Totally off topic AND random... my little brother is World Champion in weapons Kata - we went to Viareggio, Italy for a WTKA world championship two years ago. He's a good kid... and great to have as a little brother! :) Black belts are always good to have in the family!

    Anyway - back to topic - Girls and guys are all as real as they want to be. Our job is just to find that girl/guy that is as real as we are - for when we find them, we find our match.
  • Feb 5, 2008, 10:19 AM
    Romefalls19
    Yea, eventually I'll find my match. The comfort I'm getting now is that my ex told my friend that I have been looking so much better looking(shape wise) and asked him how often I go to the gym, what I'm up to and blah blah blah... I figure if she wants to talk, she can call... I refuse to crawl
  • Feb 5, 2008, 10:19 AM
    Synnen
    I HATE the ladder theory.

    I married a guy that had been on the friend ladder for about a year before he finally kissed me, told me he was interested in more, and that if I wasn't, he was sorry, he couldn't be "just friends" anymore.

    That made me think of all I'd be losing if he walked out of mylife!

    So... very cautiously... we started dating.

    Want to know a secret? He got put on the "friend" side of my mind originally because HE didn't show any interest in ME. No flirting, no asking for a date, no acting protective--he ACTED like a friend, so I TREATED him like a friend.

    So... don't whine to me about the ladder theory, men! You choose for YOURSELVES where you are in a girl's affections.

    Of course, you also can't force attraction from one side or another where there isn't one... but sometimes attraction grows.

    How about just being yourself, regardless, and not trying too hard, or playing games trying to make her want you?
  • Feb 5, 2008, 10:36 AM
    talaniman
    The rules are the same for males or females, Get over the fear of rejection, first and foremost. Secondly and equally important, be yourself and PAY ATTENTION, to the one your with. People sometimes speak volumes, without talking.
  • Feb 5, 2008, 10:54 AM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Romefalls19
    And with all due respect, she will not even come close to winning because she doesn't know where her moral compass is. But women don't have it easy at all, I agree there. But would it really kill you girls to tell us what ladder we get put on when you meet us? The friend ladder or possible boyfriend ladder...That would be nice ha ha

    And what are your' morals? Do they differ from what she stands for? Regardless if she wins or not there is more power to her for trying, because she is a woman. I think, we women have it just as easy as men do; today. What are you, in the 1600's? We can become teachers, doctors, mechanics (oh yea) and even run for president. It is becoming a woman's world more and more and whether you hate to admit it or not, that is how it is. Why men rape, abuse, label and disrespect women is far beyond me because quit frankly, we make the men and we can just as easily take then away.

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