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-   -   Need suggestions & comments. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=180520)

  • Feb 5, 2008, 04:14 AM
    OverDozed
    Need suggestions & comments.
    Ei! Its me, again. To those who do not know yet my story. Just follow the link -->

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-136025.html

    Last Saturday, me and my friends decide to attend the city fiesta's street party. All I want that night is to enjoy, the band, the beer. I wasn't expecting her to be there too, my ex.
    It happened too fast that I didn't notice her presence beside me. Then she asked me, "how are you?" I said "i dont know". Then she asked me again, "why arent you texting me?" I said "i dont know". Every time she asked me something, all I can reply is "i dont know, maybe, yes and no". Did I said the right thing? I want to know, tell guys, please...

    I also remember her asking me, why are you like that? How come you've become so numb? Why aren't you paying some attention to me? I replied a silence as I look at her...

    Right that time, I want to tell her how hard my situation is, like I wanted to explode. I know I must show her that I am not affected anymore, that I moved on. Am not an actor, its hard for me to act unaffected. I want to tell her all the pain that's still left inside, but I just kept it. I stayed silent...

    Why she still ask me those questions? I want to forget all about her... its been 4 months of NC... I also remember her asking me why I stayed silent for so long? Why am I not texting her?

    Any comment, help and suggestions?
  • Feb 5, 2008, 12:35 PM
    N0help4u
    I am assuming you are saying that she broke up with you.
    When she asks you questions like why aren't you texting me
    All you can tell her is you don't want to be with me so I'd rather not be reminded of you.
    You want your time and space you got it!

    Not much more that you can say unless you want to get into a friendly chat with her like everything is fine.

    If you broke up with her you should explain your feelings to her because girls seem to thrive on closure.
  • Feb 5, 2008, 12:51 PM
    Romefalls19
    I wouldn't respond with 'I don't know' be friendly. Just tell her politely that you will come around and talk to her when you are ready. Make it about you, and your terms. Don't let her have control. Do you want this girl back in your life? From what I have read she seems like a drama queen who needs to be the center of attention
  • Feb 5, 2008, 01:31 PM
    Romefalls19
    Lol.. I will right an Etiquette manual for texting... First rule... YOU CAN'T GIVE SOMEONE AN ATTITUDE OVER A TEXT MESSAGE... 2nd rule... Do not respond with 1 letter answers like "k"
  • Feb 5, 2008, 05:41 PM
    talaniman
    Forget it, back to NC.
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:32 PM
    yeye82
    Have you promised her anything before? Such as you never hold any grudges, you are OK every time she apologized to you... etc. She might not get the idea that there is a limit to everything, no matter how much the love is...
  • Feb 5, 2008, 09:45 PM
    JBeaucaire
    Q: How are you? (reasonable question)
    A: I don't know. (that's a lie, no need to lie)
    A: Well hello, I'm fine. And how are you this evening? (not a lie and doesn't ask for anything other then her status tonight)

    Q: Why aren't you texting me? (unreasonable question)
    A: I don't know. (that's a lie, no need to lie)
    A: How about that SuperBowl? Can you believe the Giants won? Isn't that amazing? (sincere and CLEAR change of subject.)

    Q: Why are you being like that? (unreasonable question)
    A: I don't know. (that's a lie, no need to lie)
    A: I appreciate your concern, I'm doing fine. (subtle indication you aren't answering unreasonable questions.

    You get the idea. At some point, I suppose I would've found a nice neutral response and used it for everything, like that last comment.
  • Feb 6, 2008, 12:48 AM
    OverDozed
    She was the one who broke up with me...
    I stayed silent on these few months because I need to get myself, me and my life back...
    Am not a friendly type of person... I tend to ignore people I hate... am enjoying the night not till she came and talked to me... she just called me yesterday, but I didn't answer the phone, is that OK??

    I didn't promise her anything... the last thing I gave her was a note... does she want some closure?because I don't want too.. at least for now...
  • Feb 6, 2008, 07:52 AM
    talaniman
    We see a lot of dumpers who want to be friends again, after a relationship, ironic, I think, since when they ask you for space or a break, they don't want you to have one. They just want their "best friend" back. Why give her what she wants, at your expense? Unreasonable on her part. Stay with the NC, and be free of this confusion.
  • Feb 12, 2008, 05:30 AM
    OverDozed
    K so back to NC... I received a message from her... she said "ie! why didn't you changed your number?" I didn't reply...
  • Feb 12, 2008, 06:57 AM
    talaniman
    How is that her business? It isn't. Ignore her.
  • Feb 18, 2008, 01:03 PM
    OverDozed
    Yah right!

    Ignore her...
  • Feb 18, 2008, 05:09 PM
    talaniman
    You give her way too much power, and influence over you. She deserves none. Ignoring her save you confusion, and takes that power from her.
  • Feb 19, 2008, 07:58 AM
    jpm247
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    You give her way to much power, and influence over you. She deserves none. Ignoring her save you confusion, and takes that power from her.

    Tal is right on the money. She is bringing confusion and BS into your life. Might be different if it wasn't fishing contact but that's all it seems to be. Take your power back, keep it for you.
  • Feb 25, 2008, 03:12 PM
    OverDozed
    Am OK now guys... I think am falling for someone again... hehehehe!
    Am still planning my actions for now... so as enjoying my freedom...
    Hehehe!

    *smiles*

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