Hi I'm 37 years old and have a new partner, he is concerned that I don't orgasm, I seem to get to a certain point and then never tip over the edge.
I also have the same problem from some of the earlier posts in that at the point I do feel as though I am peeing, I have not done the 'taste' test so I'm not sure if I am or not.
On top of this I get really sore and my inner labia swells up, I'm not dry but my boyfriend tells me that my internal muscles are really tight and tense and spasm quite a lot which I can't feel.

So I am know getting paranoid and frustrated and the word relax means panic lol.

On a positive note I really enjoy having sex with my boyfriend and to be honest I have never really been too concerned about having an orgasm (until know anyway) and I get a great feel of calm and release when he 'comes'

How can I tackle this situation without it getting out of hand !

Ime no expert but I have dated a girl that had the same thing felt like she was peeing thing. And what it ended up being, was she a female ejaculater (I don't know if that is spelled right)or as iv'e always called it a squirter.there is nothing wrong with that.(I kind of liked it)thats your orgasmn and your inner labia is swellen up do to the arrousal ime not a doctor or a spell champ but im'e 28 an know a little something about sex.so from my experience I would say that could be what's going on.

Hi catsaremad,

I sometimes get the feeling that I am going to pee but it never happens and I don't orgasm through sex either.

You want to know something? There are A LOT of women who NEVER orgasm during sex. EVER. They may through masturbation though. You are not alone! I feel your' pain! LOL! My boyfriend gets so frustrated because I don't orgasm but I don't really mind so much. I enjoy it even though I can't. I wonder what it's like to orgasm...

Can you describe the pain that you feel during sex? I'm not really a sex expert butI'm just telling you what I know. Tell your' doctor the pain your' feeling when having sex and make sure to be specific!

HI c,

You have sort of fallen into a situation where you have become your boyfriend's "sex project", and that's got to kill any passion you begin to generate for him! You got to feel that you are being "worked over" like a car stuck by the side of the road. All that has to end in no uncertain terms! :)

Ok, my opinion is that you need some coaching on how to develop your orgasmic capacity by yourself. Exercises to develop your sensuality and your passion and relaxation, so you feel comfortable and excited while having intercourse. :):):) Pleasure for homework, who can't love that? Dr. Northrup on Oprah a couple of weeks ago said that women need three 30 minute pleasuring sessions a week to keep healthy.

Your boyfriend has to leave your genitals alone for a while; what he is doing is too much and counterproductive at this time. He means well, but as I said, it's too much.


Best wishes in 2008!

Your BF needs to forget his science project. I feel you are going to (or already are ) experiencing vaginismus (painful spasms of the vagina) causing you to tense up and get a swollen labia-this will not be fun soon-tell him to lay off and get foreplay right beforehand. Good sex to you!

See a gynecologist. The swelling could possibly be an allergic reaction to latex. Even if it isn't they can possibly give you insight as to what it is.

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Originally Posted by catsaremad

Hi I'm 37 years old and have a new partner, he is concerned that I don't orgasm, I seem to get to a certain point and then never tip over the edge.
I also have the same problem from some of the earlier posts in that at the point I do feel as though I am peeing, I have not done the 'taste' test so I'm not sure if I am or not.
On top of this I get really sore and my inner labia swells up, I'm not dry but my boyfriend tells me that my internal muscles are really tight and tense and spasm quite a lot which I can't feel.

So I am know getting paranoid and frustrated and the word relax means panic lol.

On a positive note I really enjoy having sex with my boyfriend and to be honest I have never really been too concerned about having an orgasm (until know anyway) and I get a great feel of calm and release when he 'comes'

How can I tackle this situation without it getting out of hand !

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That's normal a lot of girls feel like there going to pee, Just dn't keep thinking about whether your going to pee or not when the feeling comes around, don't try and stop it just let it happen You are most probably at the peek of orgasm and if you just let it happen a orgasm will happen to