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-   -   My man & I, we been tagetha 4 bowt 10 months he's moved in. Good decision? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=180062)

  • Feb 3, 2008, 06:43 PM
    Pumpkiin_KaY08
    My man & I, we been tagetha 4 bowt 10 months he's moved in. good decision?
    Well I've been going with my man for about 10 months now, my dad passed away just before christmas.. he was there for me, he was due to start back at work not so long after my dad's funeral so he asked me to ask my mum if he could move in.. [ I still live with mum & siblings ]but he's working all the time and when he comes home from work he kisses me says "hello my darling ...blah blah {work talk } blah .. has a shower, & F***'s off to his sisters, sometimes gets blowed. comes back home later & expects the world of me. s*** like doing his washing, cooking for him, him knowing that i've got a family to cook for. & other things wifeyz du fo their mans, but F*** when the tables are turned & i want him to cook for me or do anything for me he pulls the old.. "I'm too tired" but that's all because when we go to bed.. all of a sudden he's wide awake Ready for action, & that pisses me off, so I've been trying not to have sex with him, hoping that will make him realise how I feel.. because I feel really unappreciated and that that's all he wants. Nothing more, I mean we still have cuddles watch movies and do other things couples do but my love for him is dying, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like cheating on him because he's never around anymore and we hardly talk, since he's moved in we've grown apart .every time I try to talk abowt the relationship he don't really pay attention , I don't know what to do , I don't even know if he really does love me . But I feel used!should I say I need space? Break up with him WHAT DO I DO?
  • Feb 3, 2008, 06:53 PM
    shygrneyzs
    You have experienced the dose of reality of him and you wonder what you should do? If you are unhappy now - and you are - you need to get out of this relationship before it gets into something you cannot get out of. Before you become pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease.

    Why did your Mom say he could move in? Why did he want to? Was he without a place to live? Was he looking for someone to cook, wash, iron, etc. for him? Does he contribute to the household? Help with groceries, rent, lights, cable, phone, etc.

    Why put up with his going out and leaving you home? WHY put up with his attitude at all? He remains distant to you except when he wants sex. Wake up! Tell him to leave and leave now. He can easily find a place to live. You need to get yourself straight in your head and not let this kind of relationship happen to you again.

    Good luck.
  • Feb 3, 2008, 06:56 PM
    michealb
    Dump him and go to college.
  • Feb 3, 2008, 07:04 PM
    Pumpkiin_KaY08
    Because he said he loved me, and he because he wanted to be there for me it was nice at first , you know seeing him everydae.. but over spending too much time, its resorted to just having sex. He talks to my family, takes my little brother and sister out places. Plays with them, but not me anymore! Wel we're talking but just not enough! I want him to change but I think I'm expecting too much. I love him.. he loves me.. we say it all the time. I mean it but I just don't think I love him enough.. I don't want to let him go. But yea...

    I want him. Then I can't stand him. I love him him. Then I hate him. I cuddle him. Kiss him. Then I want to punch his F***** head in!!

    LoL

    Can't explain.
  • Feb 3, 2008, 07:19 PM
    shygrneyzs
    It ain't love, girl. Not the real, true, honest to life love. It is sex, a feeling of being close, him being there when your Dad died. Those are all good things but it is not the firm foundation a relationship needs.

    Him saying he loves you all the time, you saying you love him all the time, does not mean LOVE. Easy to talk the talk but not so easy to walk the walk. Look at what he does - that tells you everything. More than everything. His goals for the relationship are different than yours.

    See if you can get the book called, "Single Wisdom" by Dr. Paris Finner-Williams. Might even be at your library. That woman is dynamite in writing about men and women.
    This is her website: Finner-Williams and Associates
    About the book: Amazon.com: Single Wisdom: Empowering Singles, Divorcees, Widows & Widowers for Living--A Purposeful Life of Integrity and Learning the Art of Establishing Healthy Romantic and Marital Relationships: Books: Paris M. Finner-Williams
  • Feb 3, 2008, 07:28 PM
    Ladyviper
    You thought you were grown enough to have him move in, and play house, then you need to be grown enough to tell him you don't think it is working out. You are clearly not ready for this kind of relationship, frankly, neither is he.
  • Feb 3, 2008, 07:32 PM
    JoeCanada76
    Not ready for any relationship if your willing to move in with somebody after such a short time.

    As far as the maturity level. I think you are not mature enough. As far as wanting to cheat on him why? Will that give you satisfaction.

    END IT NOW. AND MOVE ON AND DO NOT GET INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP UNTIL YOU GROW UP.
  • Feb 13, 2008, 08:02 AM
    xxsexyxjadexx
    I think that you are a very young girl or maybe just acting like one I can tell because you said "i've been going with my man for about 10 months " notice that you said man as if he is older then you. Also you said that "i've got a family to cook for " I thought you said that you lived with your mother if you do then is it not her place to cook and clean for the family. And on your personal profile you did not leave a name or your age this tells me that you are very young and do not want to let every one know your true age.

    I am not "having a go" as you would put it I am just stating the truth OK I hate liers and I hate people that lie to get attention for other people I don't think that I am the only one that is feeling like this about your "sob story" but if you have any more to say to me please feel free to .

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