We started dating about 1 year ago, and things were going so well. Then family matter came in on her end and things seemed to go wrong. I was supportive and also didn't try to suffocate her, and we always talked openly with each other about anything. Since the summer she started to go online and sign up for messengers and sorts that we agreed to leave alone because it caused too many problems. Then that stuff tapered off and she started being like she used to be. She wanted to spend a lot of time together, which I have no problem with, but then all of a sudden she was visiting a friends family, which are really nice people. But I think her friend has been influencing her to do a lot of these things she was not interested in anymore. The funny thing is that she said she hasn't gone online for a long time and that she wanted to cancel her e-mail because she had no use for it. This is the e-mail we use to communicate with, but we always talked other ways. So now I find out that she is signing up for another e-mail, that she doesn't tell me about. I found that out through a friend. I also found out that there are only 2 guys on the messenger list so far. One of them I know of, because he was on the list I know about, and he is 8 years older and married. The other one is 10 years younger and I have no clue who it is. Also on the original e-mail (the one I use with her) she added a person from out of nowhere and have not heard anything about this person ever. Now she always seems to call me late in the day, not when she wakes up, like it used to be, and spend very little time together. She seems more and more distant, but then all of a sudden gets close again, maybe she is confused about something, or she met someone else or her friend is influencing her in a bad way. This is the same friend that came into the picture previously when she started chatting and getting messengers again. There is nothing I can do to get her to stop spending time with this friend because she and her family are really close to my g/f. The problem I am having is that she is hiding so much from me again. Maybe I'm being paranoid or something, but I just wonder what is going on. :confused:

Well my friend.

Us guys thinking is a nightmare we think the worst. I would talk to her about this. Say why are you becoming so distance.

You can feel there's something wrong can't you. In your heart. You kind of know what's going on. And you should talk to her about it.

I think she may be taking the coward way out. She wants you to go to her and say is there something wrong? Do you want a brake.

If I was you id just say look. Your distant with me what's your game. Because as of now my friend she does not sound like much of a girlfriend.

She doesn't sound like a girl you can trust.

But then again you can't jump to things

Talk to her and get it all out in the open

If you go on like this it will kill you

Hope you feel better bud

Regards

Thank you for the advise. I have tried talking to her and it's never a good time. Between things going on in her life that I do know about, and other people influencing her, it's not easy to finish anything. Then when we talk about it, it becomes a non issue to her, as if it never happened. She's been this way before and she talks to me about everything, except lately. Any ideas what the deal is with the secretive messenger and all? And the other people. She does not open up to other people like she does to me, because I have seen it. Just really confused as to what is going on...

Well dude as I said before she doesn't seem to care about your feelings in this. You have given her space a lot from what I've read.

And yeah she has issues but seems way to self obsessed to even look at you.

The secretive messenger. Well what do you think? I personal think that she has got another guy a younger one. And she is taking the easy way out by acting off with you while she chats up this other guy
That's how I would see it. But that's just me and as I said if she doesn't talk to you about it. Then well what else is there to think. If she wants to let your thought pattern run wild. Then this is where its going to go.

If she doesn't want to talk to you. Then there's not much you can do about it. Apart from leave her alone take a brake. And wait for her to come to you.

I must admit I don't like the secretive stuff. No relationship should have that.
I mean it makes you feel uneasy and that's just awful

I would really think about sorting her out.
She really doesn't sound like she knows what she wants.

Confront her or leave her alone

P.S this it's never a good time crap pisses me off
If she can't make the time for you. Even like 2 minutes to talk about her fears or doubts then id walk.

You will never know what's going on with her because she will never tell you.
Stop playing the guessing game. And act

Thanks, I have given her a break, she seem enthusiastic about our relationship the majority of the time. And up until recently there were no secrets, just this stuff. Maybe it's the friends b/f that she is talking to but still... she has probably started to lose interest in me and I have to accept that. Everyone I ever dated seems to think they are not good enough even though I try to do everything to make them know they are. The time thing is more of other people calling like fam and stuff, so I can't say it's always a bad thing, but then after that, the subject we were talking about is gone... you're right, I probably should just go on my way, because it's seeming to be just like previous relationships. Thanks again for your thoughts...

Give her space man don't wait around don't beat yourself up on this.

Go work out. Go to the movies with friends

And don't let her bring you down with her man

As for the deleting her email and making a new one and not telling you? Now that can't be good can it.

You know what you got to man. And that's the main thing :)

Sorry, I might have not worded that correct, the e-mail I know of still works, she just doesn't check it much because of the comp. I wonder because she and I made the agreement to not go to chats, to meet other, because after all my ex did that and the thing was she accused me of things.. this one doesn't accuse me, but she also knows how I feel about it. So maybe that is one reason she is not telling me(maybe just wishful thinking). If she can't get ahold of me she freaks, but when I can't get ahold of her then it's supposed to be no big deal. Like you said she is probably self obsessed.. also, I haven't known of any messages that would suggest cheating.

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Give her space man dont wait around dont beat your self up on this.

go work out. go to the movies with friends

and dont let her bring you down with her man

as for the deleting her email and making a new one and not telling you? now that can't be good can it.

You know what you got to man. and thats the main thing :)

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Well buddie all this stuff has gotten you asking lots of questions. So it can't be good for the relationship if it makes you come onto a board and ask why she is doing this stuff.

As I said self obsessed. She can call you whenever she wants but you try and as you say its no big deal.

Its up to you how you want to play this :)

Hope you do the right thing

The biggest thing that bothers me is that it is so sudden. Things always went well, we loved spending time together and I still do and she still says she does, even though it doesn't show. Maybe it's just a rocky part of the road and she will come clean like she used to.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Well buddie all this stuff has gotten you asking lots of questions. so it can't be good for the relationship if it makes you come onto a board and ask why she is doing this stuff.

as i said self obsessed. she can call you whenever she wants but you try and as you say its no big deal.

its up to you how you want to play this :)

Hope you do the right thing

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