I am 21 years old. I married very young and very few regrets. But for about the last 1 and a half my husband does not want to have sex with me. He is only 22, so he should have a healthy sex drive... nope. We will go weeks and sometimes months with out any sex. I have tried coming on to him. He gets upset. I have tried talking to him about my needs. He gets angry. I am at wits get and just need advice as to what I should do. I feel so ugly now and would just like for him to want me or even kiss me more. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. 1st thing I want to tell you. It is not you. Do not blame yourself and/or think of yourself as someone that is not attractive. The picture on your avatar speaks to that. I hate when women think this way, stop doing that to yourself. The idea should be I'm an attractive, sexy woman my husband doesn't want to sleep with me what the hell is his problem.

Since, it is him and not you it's difficult for me to advise you because it involves him being proactive and honest with you.

You need to have to serious conversation with him and according to the post he gets upset when you try. Don't try to have this conversation with him after he has denied you. He is in defensive mode already which leads to an augment. You have to be like a negotiator and stay away for trigger terms.. like "why don't you?" and "you don't" because he will think that you are blaming him for something. Yes... we know he is to blame but telling him doesn't help.

I'm hoping after this conversation is over you would learn that there is an E.D. problem or hormone problem. This is an easy fix.

Lack of sex drive could be due to stress? It's kind of hard to perform when they are about to foreclose on your house. Only he knows!

Could there be another woman or another man?

Group therapy would help but unless he accepts there is a problem then he will never want to go.

Make him understand that sex is important to you and put the ball in his court. Set a time a reasonable time for some improvement. If he is not trying you have to decide to stay in a marriage and just please yourself. Or divorce and find someone wants to love you like you want to be loved.

Unless he is an idiot, and he isn't, he knows of your needs and frustrations. Tell him, "Either we, together, or I, alone, are going to a marriage/relationship counselor." If he doesn't go, you pretty much have your answer about your future with him. Go by yourself for an evaluation before retaining a lawyer.

Don't take his actions personally, lack of sex drive is usually a good indication that there is something stressful in his life, or there is a conflict, in another area of this marriage that needs resolution. A counselor can help you find it, or you can pick a good time to talk about it, but never after an argument, or any intensely emotional conflict.