How do I tell my GF of 9 months that I don't want to be in a relationship anymore, when she claims that we're going to get marry? I do love her but I'm not ready to commit to something like that... and the worse thing is that she also tells me that she wouldn't know what she would do without me if we ever break up... please help me:( :(... I need some advices ASAP

Why don't you want to be in a relationship with her? I have a slight idea as to possibly why, but just for clarification on this thread, would you please mind explaining? Thank you.

Judging by your comments and your avatar, would say that you are fairly young? Well, you simply have to stand up and tell the truth or consider the long-term options if you don't. Trapped in a marriage you don't want to be in. Jilting her at the last moment. Affairs during your marriage to get over the fact that you're with someone you don't want to be with. Resentment. They're far worse options than the ones you have at the moment.

Most young women want to get married - but nine months is way too soon. She's seeing the ring and the ceremony far more than she's seeing you, and telling you that she can't live without you is emotional blackmail. She will. There may be a few unpleasant scenes, you may be the scum of the earth for a while, but in three years time you'll be attending her wedding as the 'ex who got away' if you stand up and be a man.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kandyfruitcake

Judging by your comments and your avatar, would say that you are fairly young? Well, you simply have to stand up and tell the truth or consider the long-term options if you don't. Trapped in a marriage you don't want to be in. Jilting her at the last moment. Affairs during your marriage to get over the fact that you're with someone you don't want to be with. Resentment. They're far worse options than the ones you have at the moment.

Most young women want to get married - but nine months is way too soon. She's seeing the ring and the ceremony far more than she's seeing you, and telling you that she can't live without you is emotional blackmail. She will. There may be a few unpleasant scenes, you may be the scum of the earth for a while, but in three years time you'll be attending her wedding as the 'ex who got away' if you stand up and be a man.

---

I wouldn't go "jumping the gun" so soon on this, because if you had read some of this other posts as well as checked his public profile, you would see that there is possibly more to the story here that needs to be known before giving any kind of advice.

Clough is right...

But as far as my oppion goes... how old are you and why you not ready for this yet ?


And if you not ready now then... you better tell her.. the sooner the better.. cause... the longer you wait the more hope she will have and the harder she fall and hurts...

Think dude

I haven't read the other posts, but... here's how you do it:

I need space. It's not you, it's me. I love you, but I'm just not IN love with you.

Any of them will work... and she'll be here on this forum within a matter of hours.

Be real to her. Be honest with her. Tell her that you're not ready for this amount of commitment. It's rough... it really is, and no one wants to go through with it... but the sooner the better. You don't want to be "that guy" who acts like an a$$hole to her and then leave her like that.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Clough

Why don't you want to be in a relationship with her? I have a slight idea as to possibly why, but just for clarification on this thread, would you please mind explaining? Thank you.

---

Well, I am 20 and she is also 20 yrs old we're in college. She has her own apartment and so do I... I think the reason why I don't want to be in a relationship is because she does not trust me at all... (AT ALL) but I have not giving her reason for not to trust me... we hang out 24/7. another reason why I'm debating about breaking up is because she is (SUPER JEALOUS). Like I can't have female friends and can't never hang out with them 1 on 1... and another reason is because this coming summer I will be in Florida and will not be able to see each other at all.

Just tell her you don't want to string her along. Say, "I love you and respect you enough that I wouldn't feel right staying involved until I can give it my all." Make her understand that you are feeling pressured and being under pressure is no way to have a loving relationship. Just back it up a few steps, maybe still go on dates (this is if you want to), hangout once in awhile, take ole' one eye to the optometrist if you guys want. Just tell her the level of commitment has reached a point where it is making you uncomfortable and the last thing you want to do create any bitterness towards each other. "I am not saying we are done, but we are through for now." Peace out!

I think your right your young and you still need to enjoy life and see what's out there... and if you haven't given her a reason not to trust you then mayb she is hiding something... and the being jealous part that's just natural everyone gets jealous whether they like to admit it or not

She sounds like she's a bit of a control freak, sorry. She wants to control you in one way or another. Is blindingly jealous, accuses you of everything under the sun, but has also told you that she's basically revering some new female friend and may 'work out' with her? One rule for her, another for you? What did she want from you when you said that, protestations of undying love and you couldn't handle it if she did that? Has she got a temper on her, as well? I'm only asking because two men that I know of (close family and ex) are with older women than she but with the same characteristics and these two women have become abusers as they've become older. Females abusing men isn't something that men like to admit but it does happen.

She is using reverse psychology if you are not comfortable tell her she will listen to you