Hey all,

I'll try to keep this a quick questions...

I am torn in my mind about my current situation. I cannot decide for myself whether my actions are selfish, due to poor priorities, or whether I am in a controlling relationship and my mindset has been altered, causing this self-doubt (if that is even a possibility).

There are many examples, for Ill give a hypothetical: I have not been around for about 2 weeks (away at school). I come home for a long (4-day) weekend. I spent most of my time with her, probably about 85% of the time she is not working. I will see her everyday. I would like to see my friends back home for one night, which may mean she does not see me for a full day due to her work and my going out.

I don't know if I am being selfish by not spending as much time with her as possible. My mind says I am giving her a majority of the time, which should be more than acceptable, but my heart is torn...

Thanks for any input

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bigbird213

Hey all,

I'll try to keep this a quick questions....

I am torn in my mind about my current situation. I cannot decide for myself whether or not my actions are selfish, due to poor priorities, or whether I am in a controlling relationship and my mindset has been altered, causing this self-doubt (if that is even a possibility).

There are many examples, for Ill give a hypothetical: I have not been around for about 2 weeks (away at school). I come home for a long (4-day) weekend. I spent most of my time with her, probably about 85% of the time she is not working. I will see her everyday. I would like to see my friends back home for one night, which may mean she does not see me for a full day due to her work and my going out.

I dont know if I am being selfish by not spending as much time with her as possible. My mind says I am giving her a majority of the time, which should be more than acceptable, but my heart is torn....

Thanks for any input

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Go visit your friends. Unless you're married with kids you should be dedicating quality time to after an absence, then if you're in a long-term relationship, what's one night in the scheme of things? Friends are important - we love our family (hopefully) but we choose our friends and when your relationships fail, you fall out with your family, who's usually there to help you deal with it? Your friends. Unless they're cokeheads or want you to hang about the local cathouse, respect your friendships as much as you respect your partner. And respect your right not to be a doormat.

As much as they don't like to admit it, women like to chase.

You spending every minute with her... she'll get bored of it. She'll eventually "need space". You'll end up back here.

Have your own life. It's perfectly fine.

Damn Isneezefunny

You got the same views as me. How could you disagree with me in my post :) amazing.

Anyway I agree

They do like to chase. They do get Bored pretty fast.

Girls are a part of your life........Not Your Life

Definantly go see your friends, her not seeing that you have a life outside of her would be selfish because when you spend all your time with one person you start to get sick of them... even if you are away at school. Your friends might see it as you neglecting them. I really don't think one day is going to kill the relationship. I am married and me and my husband still go and hang out with friends away from one another and that's OK. You have to know that its OK that you hang out with the boys once and a while... its OK to be away from her for a while.

I third and fourth and fifth that. Your not being selfish for wanting to see your friends as well. Good on you. Spend a day with your friends.

Take care.

Visit friends and have fun, she will understand, I think.

Thanks for the input guys,

You basically supported what I thought, but I guess after time, it starts to seem like the other person is right, no matter how wrong they might be.

Thanks a bunch