I am twenty eight. I have been happily married for 8 years and I have 2 kids however a few weeks ago my ex contacted me and wanting to know what I have been doing. After chatting on line for a while I got know what he has been doing and reminiscing about old times.
We used to be sweethearts in our teens. We went to different universities and we found it really difficulty to have a long distance relationship,as time went by we just lost contact. We both managed to achieve our career goals and both got married. However his wife passed away and he has been a single dad.
He always made it clear how he feels about me and to be honest I have always had feelings for him Iam attracted to him now more than before and if I wasn't in a relationship I will start seeing him again.
A week ago I emailed him, told him how I felt about him and how reluctant I was to risk my marriage to get back with him. He hasn't contacted me since.
Now I am really confused and don't know what to do because I love him so much and I feel like I have made the worst mistake by letting him go. I have a good relationship with my husband but I can't stop thinking about my ex. I have been feeling really down that its begginning to affect my job and family please help.

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Originally Posted by jadenic

if i wasnt in a relationship i will start seeing him again.

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Darlin, you're not in a relationship, you're in a marriage. Marriage is a whole different level that just a "relationship."

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Originally Posted by jadenic

A week ago I emailed him, told him how i felt about him and how reluctant i was to risk my marriage to get back with him. he hasnt contacted me since.

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This man is doing the right thing. He's recognized that you are married and he is not contacting you.

You don't want to go down the road of a relationship outside of your marriage, it will only end with pain and things you wish you could do over. You said that you have a good marriage. Don't ruin it. Its really not worth it. Focus on your husband and your children... your family. They love you.

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I have been happily married for 8 years

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Oh really? Then your ex wonders in out of NOWHERE basically, and you are thinking about leaving just like that? How "happily married" can you be! Disgusting.

He contacted you because his wife died. You were the next closest thing he probably ever had in life, and to tell you the truth, you are kind of a rebound for him, whether physically or not. He's just looking for a little confort/meaning/support in his life, and you went above and beyond that, and turned it into "I LOVE HIM".

Of course he hasn't contacted you since. His wife died, he went to you, then you responded how you would leave your husband, break up a marriage, shatter 2 kids lives, all because of him. HE FEELS GUILTY! He obviously doesn't want that! If I were him, I'd stop contacting you too. You went overboard.

I feel sorry for your husband. I feel more sorry for your kids. This is absolutely ridiculous, and if you were standing in front of me right now, I'd verbally let you have it.

I would have to agree with Eura. He contacts you out of the blue after 8 years of marriage and you're ready to split just like that. It really is just sad.

Seriously! Your husband has earned this? The man who has stood by your side, slain your dragons, sired your offspring and warmed your bed has earned THIS?

Do you look on him with such disdain? This is issue is NOT about your feelings for an ex. Those aren't feelings, they are memories of feelings. Period. Memories are great, but your talking like a 12 year old. Feelings are NOT reality, and memories of feelings are zero.

God gave you a heart and a mind, neither one of which should be the method by which you destroy those who love and support you most. Your heart should recognize the true love in your life, your mind should do it if your heart doesn't.

And you mention your kids and your thoughts of splitting in a single sentence! Sheesh! Go hug those kids. Play in the park, do the homework, piano lessons, camping, whatever. Get your head off the internet. Your husband might "understand" this crap, but your kids will forever assume it was them, they just weren't worth loving.

TO ALL - if you have anything remotely smelling of "thoughts" for exes when you are no longer single, never contact them. What a waste of energy, creates these very situations where you have to talk yourself INTO staying faithful. Good grief!

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Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Seriously! Your husband has earned this? The man who has stood by your side, slain your dragons, sired your offspring and warmed your bed has earned THIS?

Do you look on him with such disdain? This is issue is NOT about your feelings for an ex. Those aren't feelings, they are memories of feelings. Period. Memories are great, but your talking like a 12 year old. Feelings are NOT reality, and memories of feelings are zero.

God gave you a heart and a mind, neither one of which should be the method by which you destroy those who love and support you most. Your heart should recognize the true love in your life, your mind should do it if your heart doesn't.

And you mention your kids and your thoughts of splitting in a single sentence! Sheesh! Go hug those kids. Play in the park, do the homework, piano lessons, camping, whatever. Get your head off the internet. Your husband might "understand" this crap, but your kids will forever assume it was them, they just weren't worth loving.

TO ALL - if you have anything remotely smelling of "thoughts" for exes when you are no longer single, never contact them. What a waste of energy, creates these very situations where you have to talk yourself INTO staying faithful. Good grief!

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I already gave reputation to this poster, so I cannot give it to her again so quickly, but I would in a heart beat. I don't know who you are or where you came from JB, but I am so happy that you are hear, because everything you speak is the truth!

GREAT POST!

Well, got to agree with Eura's post.

Thank God your ex, has more sense than you do.