My step-children can't stand to visit their father. My step-son refuses to even talk to his father, after living with his father and step-mother for months, and my step-daughter still visits, but only because she has to. In addition, my wife's ex has taken in 3 foster kids and my step-daughter says they are treated better than she is, and only gets visits with her father once a month (if he doesn't cancel). What does my wife and/or step-kids need to do to stop visitation with the kids father? I have heard so many things, but I haven't heard the same answer from any 2 people. My wife and I live in Ohio, and we would like to move to CT, where my wife is from, but we know that my wife's ex will contest it, just to give my wife a hard time.

Additionally, What if we have documentation that the father isn't fulfilling his parental obligations, such as not feeding his child before returning to custodial parent (we found he went to McDonald's after dropping off his daughter, and fed his foster kids instead), consistently being late or postponing his weekend, messing up plans for kids and me & my wife? Is this grounds to modify the shared parenting agreement?

I believe you have to look at the separation agreement and decree of divorce to read whether there are any restrictions on the custodial parent moving. If there are, then the next step would be to request a modification of the restriction. The same analysis pertains to visitation; until modified, the agreement/decree must be complied with, or the offending party can be taken to court to show why he/she should not be held in contempt. I think the best way through this is lots of communication and no anger because everyone needs to try to work together. If it is broken, try to get a neutral party involved, like a counselor or pastor, who has experience with this.

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Originally Posted by master_dh

My step-children can't stand to visit their father. My step-son refuses to even talk to his father, after living with his father and step-mother for months, and my step-daughter still visits, but only because she has to. In addition, my wife's ex has taken in 3 foster kids and my step-daughter says they are treated better than she is, and only gets visits with her father once a month (if he doesn't cancel). What does my wife and/or step-kids need to do to stop visitation with the kids father? I have heard so many things, but I haven't heard the same answer from any 2 people. My wife and I live in Ohio, and we would like to move to CT, where my wife is from, but we know that my wife's ex will contest it, just to give my wife a hard time.

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You can always go back to Court and attempt to change visitation if you have grounds. Not unusual for ANY kid to think siblings and stepsiblings are treated better than they are, not at all. (Doesn't every kid at some point say, "You like him/her better than me"?)

You probably cannot move State to STate without a good reason and Court approval.

If you want 1 definitive answer you pretty much have to consult with an Attorney or go to Family Court because as you will see everybody here has had a different experience.

Check this: "Most states clearly spell out how its family courts decide if a custodial parent may move with a child. Some states routinely require the custodial parent to inform the non-custodial parent of his or her intentions before any such move. Yet other family courts will issue restraining orders unless they have given permission for such a move. Still others require the non-custodial parent to agree to the move before a custodial parent may move. If the state's rules are not followed, or blatantly ignored, the parent often faces losing custody or facing criminal charges. If you are considering such a move, carefully consider and address as early in the planning process as possible the rights of the non-custodial parent. Try to peacefully collaborate on a new parenting plan."
See: Custodial Parent "Move-Aways" | DoItYourself.com

What if we have documentation that the father isn't fulfilling his parental obligations, such as not feeding his child before returning to custodial parent (we found he went to McDonald's after dropping off his daughter, and fed his foster kids instead), consistently being late or postponing his weekend, messing up plans for kids and me & my wife? Is this grounds to modify the shared parenting agreement?

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Originally Posted by master_dh

What if we have documentation that the father isn't fulfilling his parental obligations, such as not feeding his child before returning to custodial parent (we found he went to McDonald's after dropping off his daughter, and fed his foster kids instead), consistently being late or postponing his weekend, messing up plans for kids and me & my wife? Is this grounds to modify the shared parenting agreement?

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Yes, and you need to have a recommended plan in hand.

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Originally Posted by master_dh

What if we have documentation that the father isn't fulfilling his parental obligations, such as not feeding his child before returning to custodial parent (we found he went to McDonald's after dropping off his daughter, and fed his foster kids instead), consistently being late or postponing his weekend, messing up plans for kids and me & my wife? Is this grounds to modify the shared parenting agreement?

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That's all up to the Court based on your documentation.

Unfortunately there's no set of rules a Judge has to follow. Question will be whether he is abusive to the children - mentally, physically. I have no idea how not feeding them fits into this - I suppose he could argue that if he didn't have them home at a certain time there was a problem, he was running late, he didn't have time to feed them - I've heard all the excuses (and reasons) in the book. His foster parenting might also put him in a good light.

Because he is a foster parent be very, very careful that all of your allegations are true because this could backfire and you could be the one sued for maligning his character, causing him problems with "the system." Whatever. (Not saying that anyone should say anything untrue about anyone else but these are special circumstances.)

Messing up plans probably doesn't rise to a level of modifying the shared parenting agreement.

And this is your wife's Petition to file, not yours, but I'm sure you know that.