I have been seeing this man for 2 months. He has come to my place, gone out a few times,he calls me 1-3 times per day. He works a lot and I work weekends which doesn't bother him. We are both 48,divorced for 2-3 years.(I am a nurse, he a cop) I am looking for a relationship down the road and not just casual sex, He has said he would like something, but friends first then time will tell. I agree there, don't want to rush it and I need to be alone, take care of myself, not be needy,etc. I seem to draw the jerks and I am trying not to. My counselor said he is bad news and to get rid of him. The problem with him is he is into group sex,swinging, other men, shemales, wants me to have sex with others while he watches,when he calls he is jerking off,watches porn,thinks of sex with others all the time and has sex with others while not with me. My counselor said he will never be in a relationship with one person, he is a sex addict and that is an illness,he can't committ and he is wanting to control me and just wants to use me to get into the clubs for sex(as you need to be a couple) and he talks about sex with other couples but not just me. I have told him I am not into that and can't do it. My problem is I like him, we talk great, have other things in common, and I feel good with him. I guess I need to know should I cut ties with him? Is a sex addict always one and can they change and commit to on? I guess I feel there may not be many out there for me,as I haven't had any luck. So is he bad news and should I not answer the phone and stay away from him?

Honestly, it seems to me he may be using you or just into sex, so I vote for dropping him and looking for a good guy!

The term Sexual Predator comes to mind. Get out of this relationship as fast as possibly. Unless of course you are also into this kind of stuff.

The most important thing in your query is the fact that he is asking you to do things that you are not comfortable doing. Under no circumstances should you feel pressured into doing anything that you do not want to do.

ANY man that pushes you to do things against your conscience/will/good judgment is not worth it. That should be the only answer that you need.

Good rule of thumb for any relationship: If he/she asks you to do things you don't want to do, he/she is not relationship material.

Bad news.
He says he wants to be friends first, but is talking all kinds of sex with you, wanting you to do things you are uncomfortable with. 'Friends" don't do this.
Drop him like a hot potato.

How many post have you made about the same thing? I'll bet all the answers are the same, so what are you really looking for? Kick the freak to the curb and move on to something way better for yourself. It's that simple, and loneliness is only a poor excuse.