Originally Posted by LifePaparazzi
I'd like to make a long story very short. So I'll just list it as facts, so that you can understnad my problem. 20 facts... over 9 years
1- Divorced in 1999, after wife left with my two youngest children, after meeting some guy on the internet. She left my older two, then only 10 and 12, home alone, not knowing what was going on.
2- Dispite my offers of marriage counseling etc. she insists on divorce. Having no real reason, other then pure selfishness, she lists, sexual unhappyness for divorce.
3- Her brother in law, who lived next door, molests my oldest daughter. I have to move my oldest two, of whom I have had custody since birth, to their grandparents in another state, as I can not be home on time to assure their safety.
4- Divorce is final in Oct. of 1999. She gets an obscene amount of our possesions, custody and our home, which is in my name. She is told to hold me harmless in regards to the home, and pay the sum of $3000 cash, if she rents the home before it is out of my name.
5- For the next eight months she leaves the children in my care. Not actually knowing where I had moved to. She hardly has any contact with them, and even refuses to take them to the Dr., or even provide me support. My room-mate, now my wife, is asked to babysit within a month, and as I had to go out of town, my ex. leaves the children in her care. Not knowing anything about her at all. This make me worry.
9- When my ex. finds out, via bussy body day care worker, that I'm going for custody, she kidnaps my son from day care, and my daughter from school kindergarden, which she just started 6 weeks prior, and takes them out of state. For the next two weeks I had no clue where they were. Oh, but not before causing a huge scene at my work, nearly getting me fired.
10- Two weeks later I find out that her father is fathing charges for beating the tar out of my 3 year old son. Also, she now tells me, if you want to see the kids, you have to pick them up at my house, as in the divorce agreement. She now lives over 3 hours away from me.
11- As time passes, mortgage payments are not paid, the place is nearly foreclosed on, I have to bail it out with my money. When I talk to my ex. about this, she tells me that I can not see my kids, as long as I bother her with the house. I travel out of state to pick them up, she hides them. 6 hour round trip, for nothing, sever times.
12- We are back in court. She gets a slap on the wrist for being nauthy, and is order to pay back the money she now ows me for the house. When she tells the judge that she can not get the children to me on a Frid. night, due to her work schedule. Judge orders that I am to pick them up at her house, she has to get them at mine at the end. She is ticked off and then wants to meet half way. Judge tells her no.
13- Next visitation arrives and as I put my kids to bed, I find that they are covered in bruises, between their legs and all along the back of their legs. My daughter's whole hip is one big bruise. I gain temorary custody, while the case is investigated. Abuse and neglect are proven. The day of the hearing we had a substitude judge. He spend 5 minut, trying to find a reason to transfer the case to her state. When he can't, he gets upset, spends 2 minutes looking at the file, denies any of our experts and witnesses (including DFACS) and send the kids back to her, adding "Don't leave bruises when you spank them"
13- I am denied visitation numerous times, and every time she comes to our home to pick them up, her husband destroys something in our yard. They also show up way early and are upset when I'm not ready to send my kids home. On a four day weekend, she showes up a day early, and I refuse her the kids. She calls the cops, who looked at our court order, vs. her hand written note, saying she changed her mind. As they leave, they are told AGAIN, not do drive across neighbors property when coming to our home. Neighbor is cop. After being told to leave, they ride up to the county sheriffs office to complain about the cop that won't let them dive on his property. They are thrown out of the county, after nearly being arrested. They are told that they must have police escort to show up at our house again, and the her husband is banned from comming in to our neighborhood.
14- Next time they come they pull the same crap. The neighbor has them arrested for criminal trespassing and their car is towed. The kids stay with us and my wife has to loose a day of work to look after them. My ex shows up, grabs the kids in the middle of snack time. She throws their snacks on the ground and leaves with the kid screaming and kicking all upset. I'm once again denied visition by her. This time several months, till we could go to court. House payments are far and few between and always late or partial, dispite the fact that the home is rented out.
15- When we go to court, she is told that she will go to jail for the house issue, and it is ordered that from now on, she will get 2 days in jail, for every day I miss visitation due to her. Being the nice guy, I argue with the judge to keep her out of jail, sure she had learned her lesson. My ex. is ordered to immediately put the house up for sale, and is given dietailed instructions on what this includes. It is ordered that I immidiately get the kids for several weeks of vacation.
16- Three days after my youngest daughter is home, we can see that something is very wrong with her. We take her to a psychologist / counselor to help her out. During the second visit, my daughter reveals that she has been sexually molested, repeatedly, by their neighbor (at their mother's home). A few days later she confesses that her step father also molested her. She is tested, interviewed etc. and it is clearly established that she was indeed molested.
17- The day we go to court for custody hearing, with all the expensive experts, social workers, witnesses etc. my ex. decides that she is just going to give me custody, as she does not want the experts to testify, with all of her family and friends in court that day. She is ordered supervised visitation. My ex. is told the her husband is no longer allowed any contact with the children. Eventually, visitation at her mother's home in the next county. After a few visits, my son decides he no longer wants to see his mother. We still take him kicking and screaming, untill he gets sick. For four months we hear nothing from my ex. at all. No phone calls to schedule visitation, nothing. At this point she also ows me thousands of dollars for her share of medical bills. She deliberately makes house payments late, dragging my credit down even lower.
18- Suddenly we get summoned to court by her. Her new attorney stated, change of visitation schedule for the reason. So we go in for just that, knowing we have done no wrong. Her attorney turns the hearing in to a full fledged custody battle, for which we are totally not prepared. My wifes medical records are supeonad, witnesses I don't know from adam, testify that I left my ex. because I was having a torrid affair with my wife then. Her husband gets up and states that he was abused as a child, and he would not do that to another child. Photos, taken by a detective that had been following my wife, are shown. They show my wife leaving her psychiatrists office. My wife is bi-polar, something we never realy hid from anyone. My wife is made out as a baby steeler and evil person. My ex. walks out with the children. Even her husband is now allowed to live with them again.
19- The last three years, I have harldy seen them at all. My ex-wife has been deenying me visitation on a regular basis. Finally in May of 07 she put the house up for sale. Two months later she called the mortgage company and tells them to foreclose on it, she would no longer pay for it. At this point my home was due to be re-financed, to prevent it from going to an adjustable rate. My credit is so seriously damaged by my ex. that I can not refinance my home. When payment double, and loose my own home.
18- Due to bad credit, and less income since my wife became disabled, I can not find an affordable home within a 2 hour radius from my work. When I'm offered a home and job on the other end of the state, I have not choice but to take it. My income is suddenly half of what I used to make. Due to this, I fall 3 months behind on child support. As I'm required to keep very extensive insurance on the children, I have to pay for it out of pocket. I have spend my life's saving (Over $75,000) on court costs etc. I have nothing left. I put the family time share condo up for sale, to help me get caught up. It does not sell.
19- Dispite clearly communicating my intentions of paying off my dept to her, she is now comming after me. I can no longer afford a $375 rent payment, for the dumpy little old trailer I live in. I have not been able to buy food for my wife and I for the past two weeks. My oldest two children are helping as much as they can, but are both moved out and one married. I find out that my first wife will not be made to pay her back child support of over $55.000 and the case is closed. I have no money for car insurance, now my tag has been revoked. I can hardly keep up the payments for it, which I only have, because I had to borrow against it, for court costs. I used to own my land and my truck. I have nothing left and can hardly survive. My ex. tells me, once again, you can't see your kids till you take me back to court. How unfair, it's the first time in my life I have ever fallen behind on child support. Oh, and she just does not like the insurance for the kids, and that's that. She has my youngest daugher (now 12) call to give me her messages. My kids cry on the phone, as they want to see me and don't think their mother is fair. They beg me to call the judge, they want to come home to us, as.. according to them... it's back to like it was before. They are left alone with their step dad (against court orders) and their mother leaves them alone all the time. My ex. has left my kids home alone all summer, with no one around to look after them. She even lets the roam the city, alone, while she is at work.
20- Today I am summoed to court by here. She has filed for child support recovery. It states that if I do not pay $3600 by next Tuesday, she want me to be incarcerated. If I go to jail, my disabled wife will become homeless. Since I only make $380 a week, I can't afford anything at all. I'm barely keeping a roof over out heads. I work full time and take any side jobs of anything at all, that will pay me money. But it's just not enough.
So, help, what do I do now? Where do I turn? Where is there justice for a loving father? I have done the right thing all my life. I never miss work for anything. I don't drink, I don't do drugs. I live a quiet life and am family oriented. Where do I turn?
