My 16 year old Daughter is depressed but refuses to seek help. I have been seeing the counselor that was originally set up for her. She never made it to the first appointment and refuses to go with me. How can I get her into counseling? The counselor has offered no solutions to this.

What does she need counseling for if I may ask

Your daughter probably thinks that you are the one who needs help. :)

Let me see, she is 16, you are the parent, you make her go.

Take away whatever privileges she has until she goes. Same as you do with any other punishment. Tell her she only has to go the one time and if she hates it that much she doesn't have to go again. I guarantee if it is a good counselor she will WANT to keep going. It is all about getting her in the door for one session. This is one of the few times I agree with Fr_Chuck... you are her mom... you make her go.

Have you thought about how counseling makes her feel?
My parents made me go after they were divorsed and it made me feel like a psycho. Which I'm not.
Why do you think she's depressed?
Have you tried to talk to her about it? Maybe she feels like she needs to speak with you personally not a shrink.
Maybe ask her to go to one seesion to just try it out. Tell her that you love her but your worrried about her.
I wouldn't suggest dragging her in though, then it may make the situation worse. Yes make her go, but don't force her so much that she'll hate it even more.

This is definitely a tough one and I feel for you. I don't, however, necessarily agree with some of the other posts which suggest that your daughter should be 'made' to go to counselling... Counselling needs to be experienced as something supportive, not punishing.

What understanding do you have of your daughter's refusal to go to counselling? Try and open a dialogue with her around the issue. Talk to her about why she doesn't want to go and find out any fears she may have. Perhaps she is concerned that what she says in counselling will be relayed straight back to you? I know from my own work with young people and their families, that this is a common concern for young people. Reassure your daughter of client confidentiality and explain that the counsellor will keep her confidence (unless she discloses that she is at immediate risk of harm).

If your daughter is unwilling to talk to you about the above, perhaps you can enlist the help of a trusted family member or friend to who she is close?

Finally, I commend your efforts to get your daughter the support which you believe she needs. I hope counselling is proving helpful for you, and providing you with some strategies to manage the toll which a loved one's depression takes. Parenting a teenager can be a thankless task at the best of times, without depression being thrown into the mix. Hang in there!

All the best to you and your daughter
Dale

Helping her is a really great endeavor of you, but she may not be ready for counseling. Possibly the task of getting her to open up to anyone right now is very difficult, but I suggest you keep trying. Don't force her to do anything, as that will only worsen the situation. If my mother ever 'made' me go to a councilor she would likely find herself wasting her money because being a stubborn sometimes miserable girl I would refuse to even speak upon arrival.

As a struggling teen myself I can say that your support means more than she let's you know. Don't make her feel as though there is something 'wrong' with her. Make her feel better about her situation, countering every negative thought with a positive, be positive, and strong with her. That will do far more than you could know.

With some pretty rotten experiences with unhampered councilors I can say in all honesty that I can see why she would be uncomfortable. I've been taken advantage by councilors for the mere satisfaction that they could relay what I say to my family. Let's just say that is completely unpleasant. Unprofessional councilors are existent and even that mere thought is frightening. Being depressed only makes you more worried about everyone knowing your secrets. It makes you more self-conscious and whether a councilor is professional they can elicit great fear.

Wait for her to let you know that she is ready for counseling and until then be there for her. Keep the offer open and be there for her. Counseling is not for everyone. I think all she needs is someone close to help her through this. Familiar is sometimes a good thing.

I'm not sure what else to advise. Maybe my advice isn't the best considering I am a skeptic of counseling, what ever the case, I truly do wish you well no matter what you do.

Counseling is the best option to deal with teen depression. During counseling process teens can share their issues and concerns with the counselors and these counselors have enough experience that they can make teens to share their concerns elaborately. The counselors may come up with various specialized options that help teenagers to come out of their issues in a healthy manner and these counselors have many successful cases of changing troubled teens to better individuals.
http://www.strugglingteen.net/

Indeed, you are the parent, your daughter is underage, and you can, to some extent, force her into counseling. Whether that's a wise thing to do depends on your daughter's personality. I believe that some people may need to be pushed into doing what's best for them--remember: It's never easy to admit to oneself that one has a problem, especially if that problem is a psychological disorder like depression. If you KNOW that your daughter is depressed (and that entails having a professional opinion on the matter!), you should gently but persistently try to break her resistance against getting a counselor's help. Chances are that she will profit from it, as angry as she will be at first.