18 yr old moves out! Interfering woman! Looking for cheap daycare!
I am trying to get through the nights... My eighteen yr old daughter has recently, moved out. She came home from work on Thurs night. Told me of another job offer that would better work with her school.
She was offered a babysitting position, it would entail, providing after school care for an 8 yr old and a 13 yr old boys... ensure the homework was done, light housekeeping, making dinner four nights of the week. For all of this she would receive $125.00 a week. I asked her what was wrong with her present job (retail - 25 +/- hrs a week). I asked her for who, she told me Paula. Now the real problem presents itself, Paula is a 40 +/- yr old woman, mother of 3 --- the two boys previously mentioned and her 17 yr old son. It should be noted that her father offered her $125.00 a week to come home and do her own homework... I think he sensed something... I told her I did not think it was a good idea.
Saturday night she was do home from work around 10 pm at which time we get a phone call... Our daughter says, "I am going to stay at Paula's tonight, just wanted to let you know, so you wouldn't worry." - My husband and I were shocked, I asked, "Are you asking me or telling me?" Then I hear this grown woman telling her to say "SAYING, say the word SAYING - that way you are not telling or asking" Now my husband and I are just beside ourselves we are just plain angry, who is this woman and why is she interfering??
Paula gets on the phone with us (we have her on speaker - she knows this). My husband asks her to please not allow our daughter to stay the night over there. She tells us that she will not allow her to sleep out in the cold. We respond she doesn't have too, she has a warm house to come home to... Now we are very confused! I ask her to please consider what it looks like for an 18 yr old girl to stay the night at a 17 yr old boys home. She proceeds to tell me how mature and responsible my daughter is and that I don't appreciate it. She goes on to tell me what a help our daughter has been while she has been going through her divorce. It was then that I made things worse. I informed her that she has no right to talk to a child about her divorce. She then said, "See your mother thinks you are just a child!" The phone hung up.
Next communication transpired on Sunday when our daughter called and asks can I come and get my clothes?. Her clothes that she had already packed were placed on the front porch (her request so she didn't have to see us). Our (my husband and I) requested leave your car, cell phone and credit cards in the driveway. She did.
I know we did the right thing, I just feel terrible. Our honor roll daughter is this stupid, I have no choice but to admit that! Her strong will (which I have been very proud of) will keep her from admitting she has made a mistake. This woman is a self serving, egotistical, BEEOTCH, that is using my daughter for cheap child care that she hopes will last the summer.
Now I must come to terms with the fact that my daughter may not graduate with her class, and that college may have to wait... Her school consoler has offered her sympathy she knows Paula and says she has major issues with her on a regular basis... at least once a week the school consoler has to speak with Paula because her son does not believe the rules apply to him. In the consolers opinion Paula does not think the rules should apply to her either... Bottom line our daughter is on probation for unexcused absences...
It is now the next Sunday, and she has not tried to contact us. Now we sit and wait, how long till she wakes up?? She may never come home, we need to learn to let go...
How could this beautiful loving child, turn to such a heartless cruel person?? Why is she trying to punish her father and I?? I can without hesitation say we did the very best we could with the information we had at the time.
Sorry so long, and thanks to any of you who read all the way through this... I guess I had a lot to say... Appreciate any advice or guidance any may have. Very interested in what a teenagers perspective on this may be.