Veeerrry long story short... My future MIL and I got along great when my fiancé and I first started dating, now that she realizes we are getting married she is trying to run our lives. We still live in her home due to some financial difficulties we ran into, he is 22 and I am 20. She has told him that she is going to help him pay his bills off her way because my way is the stupid way to do things ( my way was simply pay off one credit card at a time and make the minimum pymnt on the others). She wants to get a credit card in his fathers name ( by the way his dad passed away in 2004) and put all of his debt onto that so that he can pay that off and have more money available to spend. I have tried talking/reasoning with her about this, but she just doesn't listen. He has tried to tell her that he does not want to do it that way, and she doesn't listen. This is not the only issue we have had with her. Is there anyway to nicely explain to her that we do not want her to handle our finances for us? I think that we have everything under control the way we are doing things.

I know its difficult these days making ends meet, especially when you plan to get married. But I suggest you get out from under your mother in law's roof and that could possibly put an end to her controlling ways.

I don't think she can get a credit card in the name of a deceased person, and if successful in doing so, would be against the law.

First of all, don't get a credit card in a deceased person's name because you will get into some trouble with the law.
Also, she cannot gain control of your finances because simply, it is yours not hers. She cannot gain responsibility of it and change anything if it is in your name.
The best way to avoid all of this would be to just move out of her house.

Be nice, smile, and do things your way. Don't argue, and let her rant.The important thing is for you and hubbie to be on the same page and work together. If she is not giving up any money, then its your call.

Actually your way is the logical way. Pay off the credit card with the lowest balance first. Then take that money and apply it to the second-lowest balance card, so on and so forth. As each card gets paid off, you have more and more money to put towards the others until they're all paid off. Trying to get a credit card in the name of her deceased ex-husband is fraud and can have serious consequences. As it is, it's unlikely that she'd be able to get anything in his name anyway under his social security number, as his SSN was retired upon his death. It's nice that she wants to help him pay down his debts but she isn't going about it logically. Try to tell her that in a nice way.

My advice is get the heck out of her house as soon as possible. Second of all, payoff this debt prior to getting married, you do not want to bring that kind of stress into a new marriage. Money is the number one cause of divorce. I have a feeling there is a lot of little idiosyncrisies we are not getting filled in on and I am sure his mother is not as "stupid" as you make her sound. Put down your sword. Kill her with kindness. Consolidate your debt, pay it off ASAP, even if it means living off PB and J for a few months. Get into our own place, be happy with where you are at. Let your husband be happy that he will be able to provide for his new wife and family. And start the beautiful thing known as marriage with a fresh outlook on life. Get the skelly's out the closet now. You will both feel so much better being independednt and not having to rely on her. She will feel less stressed. Your relatioship with her will get better and everyone wins. Just follow your gut. You guys are smart young people (giving you the benefit of the doubt ;-) ) just do it... as that one shoe company puts it.

Safe, Sober, and Abstinent!

Much Love!

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Originally Posted by s_cianci

Trying to get a credit card in the name of her deceased ex-husband is fraud and can have serious consequences. As it is, it's unlikely that she'd be able to get anything in his name anyway under his social security number, as his SSN was retired upon his death. It's nice that she wants to help him pay down his debts but she isn't going about it logically. Try to tell her that in a nice way.

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I'm not sure how she is going about getting a credit card in his name either, nor do I want to know. However when he passed away she did not refinance the house or cancel the cards with both of their names on them. I do not know if she is required by law to do that, but I would think being as he obviously can't pay the bills on them and he was the primary on the accounts.

Fact of the matter, they are allowed to drive anyone crazy. It's somewhere on the first year of "Wife School" where they, (wives) start showing us our new limitations and the new chain of command. You will note that you will never see a mail at the head of the chain unless he is to be beaten by it for not conforming.

Next time Mom II give you grief, walk over to her, smile and thank her for caring enough to try to assist you.