Ask Me Help Desk - My ex wants to move away with the kids

My ex and I have 3 small children, 2 in school. I bought a house about 15 minutes away from the house they (they meaning her, the kids, her mother, her stepfather, her grandmother, her aunt who is mentally challenged, and her stepdads brother!) have been renting for the last 5 or so years. We have always had joint custody, I have them on my days off work. She works on and off when she's not going to school but she never has to pay a sitter because there is always some one at their house to watch the kids so she has a lot of freedom where I don't. I told her that I wanted the kids a week at a time, trading off each week. She agreed and then a few weeks later tells me that the whole family is moving 2 hours away. That would be fine except where are the kids going to school? Is there any legal way for me to stop her from moving so far with the kids? By the way I live in Arizona. Thanks:D

Nine people in one house! I am surprised that the county zoning would allow that many residing without the proper bedrooms for starters here. Amazing.

You need to get out your settlement agreement you had prepared when you were divorcing stating who got what custody wise. There is probably some kind of clause in there that states she cannot take the children out of the county or state to live without your permission. Check that out first. The fact you have joint custody goes far here and is in your favor.

If it states she cannot move out of the county or state without your permission, you need to go back to your attorney who did the divorce for you and tell him what her plans are. He will advise the court of her plans and have the court decide what she can or cannot do with the children. You can also ask for a modification of visitation trading off the week at a time in the same petition to the court.

The only thing of importance here is whether you have a court ordered visitation agreement. If you do and their moving will cause a problem with that agreement then there is a good chance you can block the move. However a move of 2 hours away might not materially affect the agreement.

If you do not have court ordered visitation, then you need to petition the court for such immediately.

I doubt that a move 2 hours away will be stopped by a court, normally they will view moves that will effect your ability to visit. With joint visiation this couild be an issue, but you will have to file a motion in court to stop her. So time for the attorney

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

Nine people in one house! I am surprised that the county zoning would allow that many residing without the proper bedrooms for starters here. Amazing.

Aren't you making some assumptions here? You have NO idea how big this house is or how many bedrooms it has. I figure 5 bedrooms would be the minimum necessary and that is not so large.

Quote:

Originally Posted by denosiawhiteninja

My ex and I have 3 small children, 2 in school. I bought a house about 15 minutes away from the house they (they meaning her, the kids, her mother, her stepfather, her grandmother, her aunt who is mentally challenged, and her stepdads brother!) have been renting for the last 5 or so years. We have always had joint custody, I have them on my days off of work. She works on and off when she's not going to school but she never has to pay a sitter because there is always some one at their house to watch the kids so she has alot of freedom where I don't. I told her that I wanted the kids a week at a time, trading off each week. She agreed and then a few weeks later tells me that the whole family is moving 2 hours away. That would be fine except where are the kids going to school?! Is there any legal way for me to stop her from moving so far with the kids? By the way I live in Arizona. Thanks:D

You really need to see what your court papaers say about custody first. After that lets make a few assumtions on why 2 hours away is as bad as it sounds.
1. if you had the kids for a week week arrangement then you would end up with over $3000 a year fuel expense just for visitation. That's a burden for anyone.
2. If your job starts at 9am and you have to take them to school you have a minimum drop of time of 7am to make it back in time for work. That means hitting the road at no later then 5am.
3. after you get off work ( 9-5 job ) and you have to pick the children up from school that means your not getting home until 9pm in the evening. ( that's the average time for bedtime of young children ) so there isn't time for homework etc. And what about meals ?

I think you can see my point about how just the little I said affects your time with your kids. Get a lawyer if you need to and at this point its highly recommended.

If you have joint custody then you need to file a motion with the court stating your objections to her moving so far away and causing your kids to have to change schools.

Quote:

Originally Posted by denosiawhiteninja

My ex and I have 3 small children, 2 in school. I bought a house about 15 minutes away from the house they (they meaning her, the kids, her mother, her stepfather, her grandmother, her aunt who is mentally challenged, and her stepdads brother!) have been renting for the last 5 or so years. We have always had joint custody, I have them on my days off of work. She works on and off when she's not going to school but she never has to pay a sitter because there is always some one at their house to watch the kids so she has alot of freedom where I don't. I told her that I wanted the kids a week at a time, trading off each week. She agreed and then a few weeks later tells me that the whole family is moving 2 hours away. That would be fine except where are the kids going to school?! Is there any legal way for me to stop her from moving so far with the kids? By the way I live in Arizona. Thanks:D

What do your divorce papers say about custody? I don't know if moving 2 hours away (as long as there's a reason other than taking the kids away from you) will be stopped by the Court. Lots of people here have had different experiences. You said she goes to school (on and off) - does this move have something to do with her employment or schooling? Sometimes those circumstances make it very difficult to keep someone from moving, particularly a 2 hour move.

You and she cannot simply change or modify the visitation agreement and then attempt to enforce it so the one week on/one week off agreement would have to go to Court.

I would guess there are schools where she is moving so I don't think that's an issue.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Aren't you making some assumptions here? You have NO idea how big this house is or how many bedrooms it has. I figure 5 bedrooms would be the minimum necessary and that is not so large.

And the kids could very well be sharing a room with mom, grandmother or aunt.

Anyway, I am not going to explain it again but in many States there is no "Separation Agreement you had prepared." Judges issue ORDERS and JUDGMENTS; an agreed-upon Separation Agreement does NOT always happen.