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-   -   Baby's sleeping in bed with you (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=176679)

  • Jan 25, 2008, 05:35 PM
    maria69
    Baby's sleeping in bed with you
    Child service came to my house due to some one call to say they hear a little girl saying "please dont hit me" my daughter is 2 and she don't speak full sentences yet.. so the guy when on to say they also said they here crying around 3 am I have a 5 mo old baby. So I told the man he crys when he can't sleep and to eat.. well my husband told the man that my son sleep in the same bed as us... which he did.. because he has extreme heart conditions. So the man told us we could not have are son sleep in the same bed as us... even though his heart condition. And it is against the law and we could if we don't change this and get caught... lead up to having are son taking away from us... I need to know if there is any law in Texas that states that you have to have you baby's sleep in the crib or playpen and not in the bed with you...



    Thanks...
    Maria perez
  • Jan 25, 2008, 05:43 PM
    Wondergirl
    From a health web site --

    "Parents can sleep with their child guilt-free,” says Dr. Lynnette J. Mazur, professor of pediatrics at The University of Texas Medical School at Houston. “A family sleeping arrangement does not mean the child will be less independent or less adjusted. What is important is that every sleep environment be safe; that both parents agree to the bed-sharing and you discuss the issue with your pediatrician."

    It's fairly common for a parent to bring a sick child into their bed or when their spouse is out of town. “There are parents who bring babies into their bed at 5 a.m. out of sheer exhaustion or to make breastfeeding easier,” she adds.

    “Kids are unique and what works for one family, may not work for another,” Mazur explains. “It's important to know that you are not a bad parent either way, because the answer to this issue is not written in stone.”
    Risk to Little Ones: Entrapment

    She adds that parents need to be aware of bed sharing risks with younger kids. The Consumer Product Safety Commission reported over 500 deaths associated with bed sharing in children up to 2 years of age between 1990 and 1997. The younger the baby, the greater the danger. All the deaths from “overlying” and almost 90 percent of deaths from entrapment were in children less than 12 months old.

    Guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics urge parents, when bringing a child into their bed, to avoid loose bedding or other soft material around the baby and eliminate entrapment possibilities between the bed and the wall or the mattress and bed frame.
  • Jan 25, 2008, 05:50 PM
    twinkiedooter
    When child services are involved and they give you a "warning" about something, look out. Try not having the child 2 years old sleep in the same bed with you. Some Home Reckers just love to give people a hard time about anything and everything. Don't give them any reason to give you a second look. I think children of 2 should sleep in their own bed as breaking them of the habit of sleeping with mom and dad when they are say 6 or 7 may not be as easy as you think.
  • Jan 25, 2008, 05:55 PM
    twinkiedooter
    Sorry, I thought she was talking about the 2 year old!
  • Jan 25, 2008, 06:33 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    There does not have to be a "law" Child protection services have guidelines and rules that are not laws. And the last thing you want to do is have to hire an attorney after they kids are taken away.

    1. you don't have to let Child protective services in. Even if they come with a police officer, they can not force their way in unless they have a warrnat.

    2. you should not allow them to talk to your children alone, and should record anytme they talk to anyone in your home.

    3. you need an attorney now, since they have a case opened on you, and they will continue to investigate and investigate you now.

    I will say most health professionals don't believe a child (infant) should sleep in the same bed as a adult for safety reasons. Rolling out of bed, blankets over baby, parent rolling on baby and more. A crib right by the bed would have been best.

    So at this point and time be very very scared, sadly a lot of Child protective people assume you are a bad parent because someone called and reported you. ** which is also an issue since they will now keep calling most likely.
  • Jan 26, 2008, 06:44 AM
    JudyKayTee
    [QUOTE=maria69]Child service came to my house due to some one call to say they hear a little girl saying "please dont hit me" my daughter is 2 and she don't speak full sentences yet.. so the guy when on to say they also said they here crying around 3 am I have a 5 mo old baby. So I told the man he crys when he can't sleep and to eat.. well my husband told the man that my son sleep in the same bed as us... which he did.. because he has extreme heart conditions. So the man told us we could not have are son sleep in the same bed as us... even though his heart condition. And it is against the law and we could if we don't change this and get caught... lead up to having are son taking away from us... I need to know if there is any law in Texas that states that you have to have you baby's sleep in the crib or playpen and not in the bed with you...


    Just my thought but if Child Protective Services told me to stop doing something I would stop doing it. I would think you could hear your child if he needs you just as well if he were next to you in a crib as if he's actually in bed with you.

    Right or wrong once CPS is on your tail they can make your life very uncomfortable.
  • Jan 26, 2008, 04:16 PM
    twinkiedooter
    In this country anyone can call up children's services and report any kind of abuse, whether real or made up, and not have to give their name. The caller does not get in trouble even if the charges are false. They must respond within 24 hours as that is their job. Too many children are really abused and this abuse is not reported.

    Unfortunately, the onus is on the parents to prove the abuse is false. Home reckers will be back, to be sure just to check up and see if they need to "drop" their continued investigations or not. The caller could have been a disgruntled relative or friend wanted to make your life a living h#ll so they "put words into your other child's mouth".
  • Jan 26, 2008, 04:19 PM
    s_cianci
    As Fr. Chuck said, get yourself a lawyer now.
  • Jan 26, 2008, 04:34 PM
    peggyhill
    I agree. Get a lawyer. I wouldn't have the baby sleeping in the bed right now, since CPS is on your case. No reason to give them something to complain about.
  • Jan 30, 2008, 12:01 AM
    scareditsdrugs
    Do a Google Search on NFL- and get a Lawyer

    These are a couple of links to Pro Bono Attorneys in TX, I don't know where you are but if they can't help you, they know who can.
    http://www.lsnt.org/
    State Bar of Texas | Home

    You should get some "back up" support with choosing a (NFL) Natural Family Living Lifestyle, which includes Attachment Parenting & Co-sleeping. Get on line and search for support groups and data that you can give to an attorney to back you up if it comes to that point. In the meantime, you'll have the peace of mind that what you're doing is really very healthy for all of you. I, at one point or another co-slept with all my 5 children - Some mornings to this day, I wake up in the morning and realize I have all 5 in on the bed watching TV... 13 yrs to 19 months... enjoy parenthood and tell CPS to go fly.
    What ever you do, don't agree to any meetings with them till you have representation, don't let them scare you into signing anything cause "if you don't they'll take your baby" it's scare tactics and those that do that, they thrive on it. In order to take a child they have to have to be so convinced that they've convinced a judge that the child is in imminent danger and must be taken immediately, then they have 10 business days to build a case and back it up in court. Otherwise they just bug you till they either find something or hit so many brick walls that they can't even prove you had a bad thought.
    I agree, although it's an established practice, there are those out there that feel they override all precedented knowledge and claim it to be unhealthy. Sometimes they're right, whiskey on the gums of a teething baby isn't really an accepted practice now a days, but I had someone tell me last year when my #4 was teething, that's what their Daddy did for them (I'd never dream of doing that LOL.) You're appropriately loving and caring for your child.
    I'll pray for you and all others that get harassed by Children's Services - hope your ending is a positive one. Take Care

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