My wife had an affair. Now what should I do?
Me and my wife have been married since 2001 and were monogamously dating since 1998. We had a perfect friendship and marriage. During the summer of 2006, I purchased three tickets for her and out two children to visit family members outside the U.S.. They left in August and returned in November; a total of 3 months. I am not the jealous type and had complete trust in my wife. Therefore, being away from home for 3 months was hardly an issue.
When my wife returned, she was distant. Her habits changed and she started spending a lot of time chatting on the Internet, making international calls via calling cards, cell phone and landline. I was getting the bills which drew attention to her activity, but did not arouse my suspicion in any negative ways. I began feeling emotionally drained and began sleeping downstairs. Finally my wife made her first blunder by mistakenly cc'ing an email solely intended for her lover. It was filled with "I love You" and "I miss you" - even had her picture attached. A picture I took of her which she had me email her. The mistake started pouring in soon after. She became too careless, however, still continued to hide her affair.
After several occasions of serious interrogation, which I'm good at doing, she broke down and admitted to her affair. This was around February of last year (2007). As time has come and gone, I feel in some ways more angrier today. Having a good memory is partly to blame. I cannot forget how I was betrayed by my best friend and wife. And, the fact that she brought her affair home while I financed it through phone bills is not a pleasing thought either.
The only reason I'm with her is because of our two small children. I question whether she's with me because I am the bread winner and she cannot survive on her income alone. I wonder if she's with me because, in her culture, it would be hard for her to find a man lugging around two kids. There's a lot of things I wonder about and cannot form a solid conclusion about. She doesn't talk from her heart about what happened, she just gives me the standard reply - "I'm sorry"
There is much more, but I don't want to make this into a book. Why should I stay? Am I just rushing for the storm to pass without being patient enough for the pain to go away. I have definitely resorted to drinking more alcohol in the wake of these events. I can't talk to my best friend about what happened, because it was my best friend who hurt me the most. I need to hear some feedback from other people.