Ask Me Help Desk - Girlfriend has no sex drive

I have been with my girlfriend for 6 years, she has never had a high sex drive but I used to get it at least once a week, now I don't get it at all, its been about 7months, it is coming to the point now where we are going to split up because of this, is there anything to make you have a high sex drive

Simple... learn how to cater to her needs and not about your own or just busting a nut. There is a lot more to it than sticking it in for a few minutes. If you aren't playing to her likes and dislikes then its no wonder. Her behavior indicates you aren't catering to what SHE wants and what SHE needs. And likely she isn't getting anything out of it outside of feeling like a sperm receptacle. Cater to her needs and you will find her a lot more willing.

And yeah... I'm a guy.

Six years are a long time... do you have children together?

If you do, you have to work on the relationship to see if it can be salvaged. That involves couples counselling. As a couple, and that includes you, you haven't really had that much sex for the total time of your relationship. Perhaps you are not highly sexual either?(not a judgement)

Perhaps, both of you lack a variety of life experience and need to go your separate ways?

Best wishes in working out your dilemma.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

If you aren't playing to her likes and dislikes then its no wonder. Her behavior indicates you aren't catering to what SHE wants and what SHE needs. And likely she isn't getting anything out of it outside of feeling like a sperm receptacle. Cater to her needs and you will find her a lot more willing.

This seems to be a typical answer for this kind of question. I'm going through the same issue right now, and in my search for advice has turned up an overwhelming response that I'm probably not doing enough to meet her needs. This is simply not true. When the physical relationship started, she wanted sex. Nearly the moment we started talking about spending our lives together, the sex stopped.
I have done everything she asked me to in order to meet her need for romance and 'special' time, from cooking romantic dinners to taking her on vacations, and I still get nothing except more demands.

This is not my fault. If there is fault, it's entirely hers.

So to answer your question, if she's not putting out and sex is important to you, there is no point in committing to her. You can get everything else you both get out of this relationship from being platonic friends. Sex is the difference between a 'Will and Grace' relationship and a committed marriage. If you want sex, don't allow yourself to stay committed to a cold fish.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PJC3

This seems to be a typical answer for this kind of question. I'm going through the same issue right now, and in my search for advice has turned up an overwhelming response that I'm probably not doing enough to meet her needs. This is simply not true. When the physical relationship started, she wanted sex. Nearly the moment we started talking about spending our lives together, the sex stopped.
I have done everything she asked me to in order to meet her need for romance and 'special' time, from cooking romantic dinners to taking her on vacations, and I still get nothing except more demands.

This is not my fault. If there is fault, it's entirely hers.

So to answer your question, if she's not putting out and sex is important to you, there is no point in committing to her. You can get everything else you both get out of this relationship from being platonic friends. Sex is the difference between a 'Will and Grace' relationship and a committed marriage. If you want sex, don't allow yourself to stay committed to a cold fish.

You also have to understand that many women aren't able to or don't know how and what to ask for. Particularly women who haven't been around a lot. Failure to find, and cultivate what her likes are can doom her into being a cold fish. Being her partner if she can't ask for it its up to you to find out what it is she really wants.

Yeah a percentage of women will be naturally frigid. Others become that way due to their partners.

If she ain't putting out then you get the hell out of the relationship. How much more needs of hers do you have to meet? You treat her like a queen with all the things you do for her, then its time for her to treat you like a king in return. Sounds like my last girlfriend always there for her when she needs me but couldn't get the same treatment in return. And people like this will kill themselves for people that treat them like crap and can't do nothing for them but the nice people in there life that can do things for them get the short end of the stick.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimmy78

If she ain't putting out then you get the hell out of the relationship. How much more needs of hers do you have to meet? You treat her like a queen with all the things you do for her, then its time for her to treat you like a king in return. Sounds like my last girlfriend always there for her when she needs me but couldn't get the same treatment in return. And people like this will kill themselves for people that treat them like crap and can't do nothing for them but the nice people in there life that can do things for them get the short end of the stick.

"Putting out." This very attitude is probably why your "ex" (and you continue to reference her) walked away.

You do appear to have no respect and, in fact, a dislike for women.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PJC3

This is not my fault. If there is fault, it's entirely hers.

And therein lies the first major problem. You do not accept responsibility for the problems. Maybe she figured you out? I think it is time for YOU to leave and spend the next 6 years learning how to take care of a woman. Relationships are a two way street. From your response I do not think you ever learned that.