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-   -   Some guy Problems (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=175998)

  • Jan 23, 2008, 09:53 PM
    PopcornSunshineKisses
    Some guy Problems
    This is a Long Story So ill try to make it short.
    I fell in love with my best friend who happened to be a guy. We have been friends for 5 years and We dated for 10 months Within the First month I moved into His house with his Mom (I had Parent Issues)
    We broke up Because of fighting and Just Not getting along anymore
    Within the week we broke up he was already dating again so.. Being stupid I Started dating again I was 15 when I moved in with this guy and was 16 when we broke up
    I'm Currently 16 and dating a new guy who's 19 the Last guy was 16 also)
    We have been dating for 2 months but I feel like he doesn't like me But only wants a more
    Sexual relationship (and I won't Put out)
    I don't know what too do and I just need advice..
  • Jan 23, 2008, 10:21 PM
    starfirefly
    You should never feel pressured into having sex if you don't want to.. if your not ready and he doesn't understand this than he's not worth it
  • Jan 23, 2008, 10:40 PM
    justinswillis
    That guy is too old for you why is a 19 teen year old guy going out with you ?
  • Jan 23, 2008, 10:47 PM
    oneguyinohio
    Time to stop seeing him and let him go looking for someone who is more into the type of relationship he wants.

    Give yourself some time without being involved with anyone. You didn't say where you are living now. I hope, for you, not with the 19 year old?
  • Jan 23, 2008, 10:53 PM
    PopcornSunshineKisses
    No I am not living with the 19 year old I've been accepted back with my parents
    Do you think he is too old? Im turning 17 soon and he's going to be 20 but I'm scared too break it off and I feel like he's just buying my love Since within the first months he's
    Gave me lots of presants He hasn't been pressuring me into sex but he doesn't really talk to me about things he just likes to get Action... and he's moving to fast
  • Jan 23, 2008, 11:04 PM
    oneguyinohio
    If you are scared, that is a big red flag. You don't have to be mean to end it, just say it was too soon after the other relationship and you're not ready. You can offer to give stuff back if you want, but you should not feel like you have to stay for any reason unless you want to.

    It sounds like the two of you are just wanting different things. Nothing wrong with that. You could be the same age, and if he were moving too fast, you would still have different ideas of what you wanted from a relationship.
  • Jan 23, 2008, 11:21 PM
    PopcornSunshineKisses
    Thanks :) that really helps I'm still scared because I don't want to hurt him but it does sound like the right thing to do
  • Jan 23, 2008, 11:29 PM
    oneguyinohio
    Better now, than a couple of months, or a year down the road... Just be like you're not ready and appologize without putting the blame on him, and he shouldn't be hurt, but if he is, then it won't be your fault.

    It's all part of the package in dating... sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
  • Jan 24, 2008, 07:34 AM
    HistorianChick
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by PopcornSunshineKisses
    no i am not living with the 19 year old ive been accepted back with my parents
    Do you think he is too old? Im turning 17 soon and hes going to be 20
    While 20/17 is better than 19/16 its still a little too much of an age gap. When you're 25/22 it's a different story. You're still in high school, he's college age. So, in answer to that question, personally yes, I do think he is too old.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by PopcornSunshineKisses
    im scared too break it off and i feel like hes just buying my love Since within the first months hes
    gave me lots of presants He hasnt been pressuring me into sex but he doesnt really talk to me about things he just likes to get Action... and hes moving to fast
    Honey, don't feel scared to break it off. From your posts it does seem like he is trying to "buy your love" and just wants some action. I'm sorry that you've gotten involved with a person who doesn't love you for YOU, but you need to love yourself a little bit, stand up to him, and say that you don't want to "put out."

    A good rule of thumb for your "growing up years": If it makes you uncomfortable in the least, DON'T DO IT. Don't EVER let anyone make you do something that you don't want to do. Not ever.

    (Granted, if you don't want to study and your professor tells you to study... well... you get it! ;) )

    Good luck, hon. :)
  • Jan 24, 2008, 12:19 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by PopcornSunshineKisses
    thanks :) that really helps im still scared because i dont want to hurt him but it does sound like the right thing to do
    It seems you care more for him and his feelings, than you do your own. Put yourself first and protect yourself. Better yet, you deserve someone who cares as much as you do.
  • Jan 24, 2008, 05:11 PM
    PopcornSunshineKisses
    Thank you all for your Comments If he cares about me enough he will understand How I feel and accept my Decision I just didn't know what to do in this Type of situation Because I've never dated anyone Older then Me by that much

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