Hi,

I live in St. Louis MO and have had 2 dogs, Brandie and Alix, for 11 years. I brought them home about 1 week apart from each other, so they have been together for 11 years. They were very close. Alix was very close to Brandie. She would only go outside if Brandie went out. Would only play with toys if Brandie was playing with one.

Anyway, Brandie had cancer and I just had to "put her down" on Monday night.

I was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But now I am concerned about Alix. Because she was so attached, she keeps looking around the house for her. She doesn't really know how to play with me. Mostly the dogs played tug-of-war with each other. I would throw the toy, Brandie would fetch it, Alix would try to take it and they would play. Now, I don't know how to play with Alix and she doesn't know how to play with me.

Any hints, ideas, suggestions?

This is a tough one for both of you. At least you understand what happened. Perhaps you need to play more of Brandie's role. Hold a toy in your hand and run around her. Bounce a ball and keep catching it. She may decide to go for it.

The Power of a Dog

There is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy
Love unflinching that cannot lie-
Perfect passion and worship fed
By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
Nevertheless it is hardly fair
To risk your heart for a dog to tear

When the fourteen years which Nature permits
Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
And the vet's unspoken prescription runs
To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
Then you will find - it's your own affair-
But... you've given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,
With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!)
When the spirit that answered your every mood
Is gone - wherever it goes - for good,
You will discover how much you care,
And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,
When it comes to burying Christian Clay.
Our loves are not given, but only lent,
At compound interest of cent per cent.
Though it is not always the case, I believe,
That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:

For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
A short time loan is as bad as a long-
So why in - Heaven (before we are there)
Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

Rudyard Kipling.

Oh god, why did you have to post that poem? It just killed me! It's a good one but lord, it would make a stone weep.

Good grief that poem would make a stone weep indeed! It was very touching. As for Alix, labman gave the best advice in my opinion. Best thing for her is getting oodles of love and attention. Just spending extra time with her may help fill the gap in both of your lives. I am so sorry for your loss.