Lately I'm bothered that I'm entertaining courtship from a guy (my officemate) that I don't really see having a long-term relationship with. I learned from our common friend that this guy has a bitter past, does not believe in God (because his life's a tragedy), and have tried committing suicide before. He's really a nice guy and the type that is not capable of hurting a girl. Over the past few weeks that we started hanging out, I learned that he was a very profound and caring person. He would help me at work and treat me meals even though he's not really earning that much. I think those friendly gestures somehow won a piece of my heart. Lately I'm being affectionate with him and could probably be sending the wrong signals. I am presently unattached to someone else. Am I just finding comfort in him just so I can temporarily survive not being with someone I love at the moment? I learned from a friend that I could be the reason why his world has brightened up all of a sudden. I don't want to shatter his world if I tell him that we'll be better off as friends. He's just starting to move on and I don't want to lose him for now. I know in my heart that I just want him for a close friend. I hope I do not regret being the temporary inspiration that I am to him now. Please help:confused:

Talk to him. Everything you said in your post can be discussed with him. Talk in person. Tell him how much his caring attitude means to you. Tell him a long term relationship is not probable. His past is his. Using him, just so there is someone to to help you comfortably survive is not a reason for guilt if he knows where you're coming from, what you're all about. The two of you could be friends, or more. His past suicide attempt was not your fault. Don't lead him on. Tell him the truth.

Are we talking about this guy?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...in-172568.html

Uhhh... I guess you didn't learn anything? Or take our advice seriously? What gives?

The does not believe in God.. shouldn't be a problem I don't think you should turn down people for that lol.

But the killing thing yeah that's a worrie

Just play it slow and see where it goes

Regards

"Are we talking about this guy?i guess you didn't learn anything? Or take our advice seriously? What gives?" This is a different guy. New guy entirely.

Bottom line, your using him to band aid your own hurt feelings and he is falling for you. Your actions are not honest, nor healthy. End it before it gets worse.

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Originally Posted by mred

Lately I'm bothered that I'm entertaining courtship from a guy (my officemate) that I don't really see having a long-term relationship with.

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Hon, If you don't see a future with him, then you shouldn't be entertaining thoughts about a relationship with him. When you enter into a relationship, you shouldn't know that you're only going to be in said relationship just for the present. That's not being fair to him, or to yourself. When you're ready to commit your unknown tomorrows to a person... that's the moment that you are ready to commit to a relationship, not before.

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Originally Posted by mred

I am presently unattached to someone else. Am I just finding comfort in him just so I can temporarily survive not being with someone I love at the moment? I know in my heart that I just want him for a close friend.

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Are you simply finding comfort in the temporary fix of having someone? Yes. I sincerely commend you for your decision to "be unattached to someone else." (I've read your past posts and commented on them) What you're doing is one of the most difficult things a person can do... letting go of the one you love because you have decided that it is the right thing to do. You're hurting. You're wanting more from a relationship that you're ready for. Don't use this guy as a temporary fix. Both he and you deserve that permanent fix of a lifetime of bright tomorrows.

Get to know yourself. Be comfortable being alone. Take long baths and read lots of fluff novels (while eating lots of Godiva! ;) )

You said you know in your heart that you want him for a close friend. Listen to your heart... for it is the seat of your power. Remember your power? Don't give it away, don't let someone take it, and don't ignore it. Keep him as a friend. You'll not be sorry. You'll have gained one of those elusive "kindred spirit" friendships.

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Originally Posted by mred

I hope I do not regret being the temporary inspiration that I am to him now. Please help:confused:

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Darlin, don't ever regret being an inspiration to someone... because, by being an inspiration, you inspire them to be more, to do more, and to become more. That is always a good thing.

Hope this helps a little! Keep your chin up! :)

This day of hearts, he gave me a white rose. He wrote the sweetest poem about the white rose breathing of love. I was just speechless. Speechless because I was too happy to receive flowers from a guy for the very first time on valentine's day. But more so because I know I cannot reciprocate the love that he has for me. I treasure his friendship and don't want to break it. I know that he recently found hope and meaning in life because of me. I want him to continue living and hoping, but not because of me. How do I break his heart in the gentlest way possible? Please help.